


No One Said It's Going To Be Easy

by ClaraSophia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Boys In Love, But it's there, Caring Alec Lightwood, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Major Character Injury, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, Panic Attacks, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Sibling Bonding, Soulmates, Supportive Alec Lightwood, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, Supportive Magnus Bane, The start is super sad, but it'll get better, but she'll get better, but well only in the last chaper, handjobs, lots and lots of cuddling, showering together, soft boyfriends, their love is so precious, these guys love each other so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-12-24 03:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 78,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21092384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaraSophia/pseuds/ClaraSophia
Summary: Alec Lightwood has endured a lot in his life, thanks to his father. When he's at his worst, he meets Magnus Bane.Magnus Bane is a club owner, who of course, has his own issues well-hidden behind the walls he'd built up over many years.Russian translation available here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8805934Thank you @DanaLightwoodBane for translating ♥





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, hello guys ♥  
This is my first fic ever, and english isn't my first language. I hope, you'll be patient with me :)  
The story is losely based on a personal experience, it's something I wished would've happened.  
I really hope you like the story, leave a comment if you do, but please also leave a comment if you have construcitve criticism as well!

Alec Lightwood wasn't used to alcohol. 

Really not at all. 

He didn't even like the liquid, it had an awful taste, no matter what he'd tried.

Furthermore, it was like his whole body was absolutely unable to tolerate it the few time he'd tried to drink.

And he fucking knew. 

He avoided it all the time...but yeah, not this one time. He'd needed it this one night. 

And maybe, he drank a little bit too much.

However, to his misfortune, he realized it a little late. Honestly, Alec just realized it, when he opened his eyes the following morning, groaning in pain as he recognized the sunlight flooding into the room, squeezing them shut immediately. His head was currently killing him. 

How much did he drink last night? He'd lost count at some point, and, obviously, his memory as he tried to remember where he was.

Putting his arm over his also hurting eyes to protect them a little from the sun, Alec tried to open them again, a little more careful this time. Carefully roaming his eyes over the silky sheets which surrounded him, he became more confused with every passing second. 

Where, by the Angel, was he? Nothing in this room was familiar to him.

Panic slowly but steadily rising in his gut, Alec took in his surroundings, realizing with a silent gasp, that he was stripped down to his boxers.

And. Someone. Was. Holding. Him.

That was all it took for him to completely freak out. He couldn't, just couldn't stop the panic spreading through his whole body.

Throwing the sheets away, Alec almost jumped out of bed, not hearing the confused groan that occurred from behind him. He just wanted to get away from being touched. He would just get hurt, Alec knew it, and he couldn't bear more pain.

But Alec didn't make it as far as he wanted to come. His whole body suddenly started trembling in fear and panic, his legs gave out, and he all but collapsed to the ground, heavy gasps escaping him as he tried to breathe.

"Hey...hey...Alexander?" A person suddenly asked soothingly. Alec, his eyes wide open in panic, recognized a pair of feet stopping in front of him only seconds later. 

"S...stop, stop. Don't, please," Alec whimpered in between gasps and tried to crawl away from the person. "Don't touch me, don't hurt me," he almost sobbed, beggingly. He squeezed his eyes shut as his heavy gasps increased. He felt like he would pass out at any minute.

"Hey, I'm not going to touch you, Alexander, it's fine. Just let me help you, okay? " Alec couldn't really focus, it felt like the words came from far away, and the person had to repeat them a few times until Alec could concentrate enough to understand them.

"Ho...how," Alec rasped, desperately in need of help, but not knowing how to manage it.

"Just copy my breathing, alright? You're panicking and need to calm down, Alexander. I don't want you to pass out. Listen to my breathing, darling and let me help you," the person told him soothingly, and Alec nodded frantically, trying his best to copy the breathing of the person in front of him. 

It took them quite a while until he'd calmed down enough, and the man patiently gave him all the time he needed. Encouraging and soothing him with his calming voice without touching him. Alec was more than grateful for this in just that moment. He'd never been able to get out of this panic attack all on his own.

"Th..thank you," Alec all but stuttered a while later, as his shoulders slumped in embarrassment. He felt utterly exhausted and vulnerable. If it were to him, he would lay down right here on the ground and sleep.

"It's okay, darling, I'm glad that I could help you. Though I won't lie and say you didn't scare the shit out of me," the man admitted honestly. The melodic sound of his voice alone calmed Alec, and he believed him, even though he wasn't able to smile just yet at these words, knowing the man just tried to cheer him up a little.

"I'm sorry. I...I," he tried to explain, but the words wouldn't leave him. Alec wasn't good with words. To be honest, he was the most awkward person you could think of, but ten times worse. At least in his own imagination.

"No need to be sorry, it's fine."

Alec only nodded in response, his eyes now focusing on the pair of feet in front of him. Feet with painted nails, he realized then. But Alec couldn't find the strength to be surprised, for he was just too drained from the earlier fear and panic. 

"Alexander? Am I allowed to sit down next to you?" The person asked after a moment, and once more, Alec only nodded weakly. If he'd take his distance, it would be okay. 

"Just don't touch me again," he whispered brokenly, honestly wanting to get comforted by getting touched, but not being able to take it right now.

"I won't, not as long as you don't want me to. I promise," the person said, sitting down beside Alec carefully, putting an acceptable distance between them. Alec relaxed a little bit more. He didn't know why, but he trusted this man. He adjusted himself on the ground, leaning his back against the bed, so they were sitting next to each other.

Bending his head a little, he carefully took a look through his almost black hair at the incredibly good-looking man beside him. Even with his also black hair sticking in every direction and the colorful sleep pants he was wearing, he was adorable. He smiled gently at him, with worry written all over his face. He was absolutely beautiful, though. Asian, with an almost golden skin, which was shining in the sunlight. He definitely did sports, Alec realized, as he observed the firm, well-formed abs. He could've watched him forever. 

Blushing, Alec averted his eyes. 

It was wrong, thinking that way, he was a freak, and Alec wasn't ready yet for the person to find out.

"Are you better now?" The man asked caringly, observing Alec's face carefully. It was just then that Alec realized that he had been crying during his panic attack. His eyes felt swollen, and he felt a wetness on his cheeks. Wiping away the moisture with still slightly shaking hands, Alec nodded once more in response. 

"A bit...I think," he managed to answer then in a hoarse voice.

"May I get you some water, darling?" 

"That...that would be nice," Alec whispered exhausted, feeling like a burden to a complete stranger. "I will leave then...," he added.

"Oh, you don't have to, Alexander. I want to make sure you're okay before you leave. And you're clearly far away from being okay. Are you in need of a pain killer as well?"

Alec observed the man carefully, wanting to know if he meant what he said before he nodded once more.

The man gracefully jumped to his feet then and left the room for a moment until he came back with two glasses of water and a pill for Alec, which he took gratefully.

They fell into silence then, at least for a little while, before Alec slowly began to drift off, as he felt the exhaustion overwhelming him. 

"Alexander, don't you want to lie down on the bed and rest for a little longer? You clearly need it, and I don't mind. I won't touch you if you feel uncomfortable with it."

"What's your name?" Alec asked silently, ignoring the person's earlier question for now. He would get back to them when he knew some more.

"Magnus. Magnus Bane."

"I don't remember anything...did I...did we..uhm," blushing, Alec gestured between them with one of his hands. If that were the case, he would probably never get over it. It wasn't right, doing things like that. Wasn't natural.

"Oh, no, darling. Don't you worry. I would never take advantage of you in such a vulnerable state you've been in last night. Though I have to admit that we cuddled a little. You needed someone to hold you and asked me to. But, believe me, that's all we did," Magnus answered honestly, and Alec believed him without any doubt.

"Okay," he whispered, slowly rising to his feet. Magnus followed his movements and rose to his feet as well.

"Where will you be while I rest?" He asked, almost embarrassed about this question. Alec was at a stranger's home and not in the place to ask these questions.

"Depends on where you want me to be, Alexander. If you want me to leave the room, I will. I just want you to feel comfortable, so feel free to tell me what you want."

Once more, Alec watched Magnus in awe. Was this man even real?

"I'm a complete stranger," Alec whispered.

"Well, I don't mind," Magnus shrugged, smiling gently at Alec. "You need someone who takes care of you, Alexander, and it would be a pleasure for me to help you feel better. At least a little bit. And, once more, I won't take advantage of you, you can trust me, darling."

Alec listened to Magnus, observing him carefully. He'd never met a person like him, and Magnus was right, he needed someone to take care of him right now.

"Okay, thank you, Magnus," he whispered, the emotion evident in his voice. Alec didn't deserve that, he knew. But, for one day, or at least this moment, he wanted to feel safe. And Magnus just managed to make him believe that he was safe with him.

"Don't Alexander, it's alright. Honestly." Magnus smiled at him once more, and Alec nodded.

"Can you stay...I mean...if it's okay?" He asked then, awkwardly, averting his eyes once more, fearing Magnus' rejection. Alec wasn't used to people being kind to him, apart from Jace, Izzy, and Max.

"Of course. If you want me to. Let's just add some boundaries so you won't panic again when you wake up later," Magnus suggested, walking to the side of his bed, he'd been lying earlier. "You don't want to get touched, is that always the case?"

"It's just...it was so unexpected. I was afraid...but it's okay...I'm good now."

Alec wasn't okay, far from it, he knew that as he sat down on the bed once more. Probably would never be. But he wanted someone to hold him, just for today.

"Alright, let's just say, for the moment, you've been touched enough?" Magnus asked gently. He wasn't making fun of him, Alec knew that, so he nodded again. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at that...at explaining," Alec said embarrassedly.

"Alexander, don't apologize. I don't question anything. If you want to talk about it later, you have my full attention. But right now, you need to rest."

Alec nodded in understanding, but also gratefully that Magnus wasn't pushing anything.

"Can...can you...just...canyoupleasestaywithmeforawhile?" He all but stuttered then, his back tensing in fear of Magnus' reaction.

"Of course, darling, if you feel comfortable with it," Magnus assured, not questioning anything here, which Alec was more than grateful for.

So, Alec didn't hesitate as he lay down once more, after placing the glass of water on the nightstand. He let himself get soothed by Magnus scent, which, he realized now, surrounded him. Sandalwood, mixed with his natural scent. It was calming, and Alec didn't need long to drift off to sleep.

* * *

* * *

Magnus, on the other hand, didn't manage to get back to sleep after what had happened. Too occupied with his thoughts, he just laid there, watching the younger man beside him sleeping. Alec's expression was, luckily, more peaceful now. But then, something caught his attention. Magnus hadn't realized it first, being too concentrated on calming him down, but when Alexander turned around a little, and the sheets slid down his shoulder, he saw them: lots and lots of bruises on his upper arms, chest, and back. They were vanishing, turning green and yellow, but still, it was apparent that Alec had been in a fight.

What had happened to this handsome man? He didn't seem like a guy who liked getting into trouble.

Alexander was having a hard time, that was obvious. He'd seem so lost last night. And Magnus couldn't stop remembering the time they had met.

_ It wasn't a bar, Magnus used to visit. He'd never been in there, to be honest, but this time though, he couldn't shrug off the sense of being needed there. _

_ So who was he to question his gut feeling? He'd learned to trust him more in the past, and that was exactly what he did. Magnus walked into the dark, uninviting bar. He took a seat at the front, beside the only person who was there as well. The man seemed lost in thoughts, holding a glass of whiskey with both his hands. And the guy was, even from the view Magnus had, incredibly beautiful. He had almost black hair, which might be a little bit too long for Magnus' taste but suited him perfectly. Magnus couldn't see the man's whole face, but he liked what he saw. He was wearing all black clothes, which was a big contrast to Magnus' own colorful, unique clothing style to say at least. _

_ "All alone here, darling?" Magnus asked the man, ordering a drink right afterward. _

_ The man just nodded, not wasting energy to look up at him. _

_ "Do you mind if I'll stay here, or do you need some space?" Magnus asked again, not wanting to make the man uncomfortable. There were more than enough seats empty, to be honest. _

_ "You can stay," the man slurred slightly, risking a short look at Magnus, before focussing on his drink again. _

_ "I'd love to. I'm Magnus, by the way." _

_ "Alec," the man just answered. He didn't smile, and the way he sat there, with his shoulders slumped, his head hanging made Magnus' heart clench. Alec wasn't just lost in his thoughts, he also felt lost. _

_ "Alec, from Alexander by any luck?" Magnus asked, trying to get Alec out of his lethargy. Maybe he could make him feel better, even if it was just for one moment. _

_ "Yeah," Alec answered. "But everyone call's me Alec." _

_ "Would you mind if I stick to Alexander. I kind of like that name," Magnus told him, smiling gently when Alec once more lifted his head a little to look at him, this time taking in Magnus whole appearance with the saddest, hazel-colored, eyes, Magnus had ever seen, before he answered. _

_ "No...no, I wouldn't mind." _

_ They had talked quite a while from then on, with Alec ordering more whiskey for himself. Magnus didn't dare to stop him from doing that. _

_ Who was he to do so? _

_ Sometimes people just needed a few drinks for whatever reason, but he wanted to make sure Alec made it home safely after they'd spent a few hours together. _

_ "I can't go home...I don't...," Alec murmured in the saddest voice Magnus might have ever heard in his whole being. _

_ "You can sleep at my place, sober up, and I'll bring you home tomorrow," Magnus suggested, not minding Alec's company at all. Honestly, he wanted to get to know Alec a little more. There was something about him. _

_ "Okay, I can do that," Alec answered after a moment of overthinking Magnus' offer. He rose to his feet, or at least he tried to. Swaying, Alec got some hold on the bar table. Otherwise, he would've fallen straight to the ground. _

_ "Hey, let me help you, darling," Magnus suggested, and Alec had nodded gratefully, yet not meeting Magnus' eyes. And so he put Alec's arm around his shoulder, his own arm around Alec's waist after paying for both of them. _

_ Together they stumbled out of the bar, looking for a taxi that brought them to Magnus loft. Alec didn't break contact with Magnus all the way, leaning heavily against him. But Magnus couldn't mind more, to be honest, he liked it quite a lot more than he should. _

_ They made it to Magnus' bedroom, and he helped Alec to get out of his clothes before he undressed as well. Alec had sobered up a little at this point. _

_ "Do you need anything, Alexander?" Magnus asked carefully, meeting Alec's eyes, which were full of vulnerability. He nodded in response, blushing before he even had said anything. _

_ "It's okay, I won't question it, and I won't blame you," Magnus told him encouragingly, waiting patiently for Alec's response. _

_ "Can...can you hold me? I need...," Alec whispered ashamed, averting his eyes from Magnus' gaze. _

_ "Oh...of course darling, if that's what you want and need, I will, of course, hold you," Magnus said empathetically, opening his arms willingly. He couldn't explain it, even to himself, but there was something about Alec. _

_ Alec was fast to move into his arms, placing his head on Magnus' chest. He moved to put his arm around Magnus' waist but stopped immediately, already blushing again, his shoulders suddenly becoming tense. _

_ "Do whatever you feel comfortable with, Alexander. It'll be fine. I won't take advantage of you. I've got you safe here," Magnus whispered, knowing Alec didn't have any attention besides desperately craving for comfort. And Magnus was more than willing to give it to him. _

_ "You sure?" Alec murmured, still not looking at him awhile Magnus nodded. _

_ "It's fine, I promise." _

_ And finally, Alec made himself comfortable in Magnus' arms, almost melting into him, putting his arm around Magnus' waist. _

_ "Thank you," Alec whispered, the emotion evident in his voice. Magnus couldn't stop himself from cradling Alec closer to his chest for a moment. _

_ "You're more than welcome, Alexander, sweet dreams, darling. I got you," Magnus answered soothingly, already feeling Alec drifting off to sleep. He watched the younger man a little while longer before he also gave in to his tiredness and closed his eyes. _

Watching Alec now made Magnus' heart clench once more. He desperately wanted to help him. Wanted to make sure Alec was alright to say at least. He would talk to him later, offering his help in the hopes that Alec would accept his offer.

"I hope I'm able to help you, Alexander," Magnus whispered, watching the younger man sleeping peacefully.


	2. Chapter 2

When Alec woke up once more a few hours later, he felt more rested. Also, gladly, his headache was gone. Plus, he knew precisely where he was, which left him lying relaxed in Magnus bed for a moment with closed eyes, enjoying the silence. 

It was just then that he apprehended that it was a little too silent.

Turning around in Magnus' bed, he opened his eyes and realized that Magnus wasn't lying beside him like he'd promised, and all of a sudden, Alec began to feel lost once more. 

He couldn't help the tears stinging in his eyes. Magnus had promised to stay with him, and Alec, the fool that he was, had believed him. And now he found himself all alone in the bed of a stranger, feeling all lost and vulnerable. 

No one would ever be there for him. Alec should have known it better, he thought with a bitter feeling. He'd thought Magnus was different, but he was like all the other people Alec had gotten to know in his life. Alec didn't know how long he was lying there, deeply lost in his unfortunate thoughts, and not able to move, before he let his eyes, once more, roam over the room. He would leave then, even if he didn't know where to go yet. He had to figure something out. 

Looking once more, at the empty bedside beside him, he caught a little note, lying on Magnus' pillow, and Alec was holding it in his hands before he even realized it. Alec unfolded it as fast as possible and read the words, written just for him.

__ My dearest Alexander,  
_ I'm very sorry, but I had to get up doing some duties. I'll be in the living room when you wake up, which is the second door on the left side when you leave the bedroom. Take a shower, or a bath, whatever you want, feel free to do it. Fresh clothes are in the cupboard, take what you need. I'll be waiting for you with our dinner.   
_ __ Magnus

Alec just realized then as he let out a relieved sigh, how grateful he was that Magnus hadn't left him like he'd thought Magnus would. He didn't want to admit it just yet, that Magnus already meant so much to him. Nobody ever had brought him out of a panic attack before in such a short time and helped him to relax so selflessly. 

Not even his siblings would be able to. 

That's what Alec guessed at least. 

They didn't know about his fucked up mental state, and it was better that way. Jace, Izzy, and Max didn't need to know. Alec wanted them to live a happy and carefree life. Knowing that he was a burden to all of them if they would find out what was wrong with him. He was their bigger brother after all, and it was his job to look out for them, not otherwise.

But with Magnus, Alec had felt so safe and cared about. He wanted to feel it again, even if it was just for today before Magnus would send him away in disgust when he got to know him better.

But all Alec wanted  _ was _ to get to know Magnus better. If Magnus wanted it too, of course. But he didn't think the other man would want to. 

_ No one will want you this way, Alec. It's an abnormality which you need to get away from! _

Alec shuddered, hearing his father's words as if he would stand right behind him. Alec knew he was a freak, his father had told and shown him often enough since he'd told him his secret a few years ago. And furthermore, Alec didn't even know if he would be able to talk to Magnus, he was such an awkward person. His father had told him so often that Alec couldn't stop feeling this way. He believed every word his father had spoken.

But he desperately craved for Magnus' company, so he climbed out of bed, sitting on the edge for a moment. Absently caressing the fading bruises on his upper body, like he always did, Alec didn't even feel the pain anymore. After a moment, he found his cell and slid over the screen to unlock it.

Immediately, Alec was greeted with a ton of worried messages from Izzy and Jace, even a few from Max, who had just gotten a cell phone to his last birthday.

Alec was surprised to say, at least. He'd only been gone for a few hours, and his siblings were already freaking out. Alec honestly hadn't expected that kind of reaction.

_ Alec, are you okay? Max just told me, something happened between Dad and you...do you need someone to talk to? Izzy _

_ Hey man, where are you? Izzy just called me. She worries about you, are you okay? I'm here if you need me, dude. Jace _

_ Alec, really, are you okay? Why don't you answer? You know how Dad gets when he's stressed because of work, don't let him get to you! Izzy _

The messages went on and on, the last one with Izzy telling him she would call the cops if he wouldn't call her soon. So Alec decided to text her at least. He didn't want to talk to his sister right now, maybe later.

_ Hey Izzy, I'm okay, just got out of bed. I'll call you as soon as I can. Alec _

Alec put his cellphone aside and moved to get a short shower before putting fresh clothes on and heading to the living room.

Suddenly feeling shy, Alec carefully knocked on the door before opening it.

He stepped inside and was greeted by the most beautiful sight he'd probably get to see in his life. Alec stopped immediately, right there on the threshold, taking in Magnus' appearance.

Magnus stood, lost in thoughts, in front of a large bookshelf, his thumb and forefinger caressing his thin goatee as he was obviously searching for something. His hair was styled, and he was wearing make-up. Alec didn't know if he'd ever seen a man looking so fucking fantastic. Magnus was also wearing jewelry over his outfit, which, clearly, was made to kill him right here on the doorstep.

"Alexander." 

Magnus had bent his head a little, watching Alec with a gentle smile on his face. 

"I'm glad to see you awake, how are you feeling?" 

"Okay...I mean...better, I'm better," Alec answered awkwardly, still stunned by Magnus' appearance.

"That's good, but I'm sure you must be starving, I ordered some food for us earlier," Magnus told him, taking the lead as he walked through a living room which, in Alec's opinion was a place full of art. Alec roamed his eyes over the furniture as he followed Magnus. It was very impressive though, old, surely almost antique furniture put together with more modern things. This place was absolutely made for Magnus. 

His mom would love it.

Alec quickly put this thought away. He'd never be able to bring his mom over here, so why wasting time thinking about her? And he just did that, focusing on the present, he took in his surroundings once more.

"Did you put all these things together?" Alec asked in awe, not even realizing that he should be awkward, he was too occupied with his surroundings.

"The furniture? Yes. I kind of like putting things together. You can say that it's a hobby." Magnus explained as he guided Alec to his seat without touching him.

"It's like a piece of art," Alec murmured, thanking Magnus with a little smile. It didn't reach his eyes yet, but he tried.

"Why, thank you, Alexander. I'm glad you like it," Magnus answered, smiling widely at him. It was evident to Alec that Magnus really was glad about his words.

"I do," he answered, blushing a little. Alec didn't know what to say more, so he stood silent.

And Magnus didn't push him into talking. There was a comfortable silence between them as Magnus set the table for them.

"Is there anything you don't like, Alexander?" Magnus asked after a moment.

"No, it's fine." Alec stuttered. He was taught to eat what had been cooked, even if there were a few things he really didn't like. Magnus waited for a second, giving Alec the chance to change his mind before he filled his dish with food. Magnus then helped himself and sat down beside Alec.

Both of them dig into their food without much talking. Alec hadn't realized until now how hungry he'd been.

It was just when they'd finished eating and sat comfortably on Magnus' couch, watching a movie, when the older man finally began to speak.

"So tell me, Alexander, if you want to, of course, what was this all about?"

"I...uhm...I guess I had a bad day...," Alec murmured, lying was all he knew when it came to his true feelings. He wasn't allowed to have some, nor to share them.

"Must've been a pretty hard day, darling," Magnus said empathetically, looking at him for a moment. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but it can help, and I won't judge you."

"Okay...," Alec answered lamely, not really knowing what else to say as he clutched the sweatpants he was wearing in nervousness. He couldn't help himself, this topic frightened him.

"I'm making you uncomfortable, sorry Alexander, I won't ask again," Magnus quickly backtracked as he saw Alec's reaction to his words.

"I'm not...I...it's just, I'm so bad at it...and I don't want you to think too that I'm a freak," Alec stuttered, his voice silent but full with emotion. He didn't understand it, how much Magnus actually meant to him after these few hours. He wasn't ready to leave the comfortable company of Magnus yet. It was selfish, but Alec needed some comfort today. And if Magnus knew more about him, he would ask him to leave, Alec was sure he would.

"Oh darling, I would never think that. All I honestly think is that you seem very sad and lost."

Alec risked a look at Magnus, searching for the truth in his words. Magnus held his gaze, letting Alec find whatever he was looking for. 

And Alec found it. 

He nodded after a moment and relaxed a little.

"I, I don't know how to start. I don't know if I can."

"You don't have to, Alexander. It's totally fine. But if you ever want to talk about it, I hope you'll find and reach out to me."

Alec nodded once more. He knew he had to talk about it, but right now, he found himself unable to do so.

"I will...thank you, Magnus," Alec murmured. "But I guess it's time for me to leave," he added, not wanting to go home yet, but Alec didn't want to wear out Magnus welcome.

"Oh...yes, yes, of course, Alexander. Do you need a drive home?" The way Magnus spoke made Alec lookup once more in Magnus' direction. Did he hear sadness? He wasn't good at that, but the way, Magnus was watching him...it could be.

"Yeah, I don't know where I am, so...at least, I mean just if there isn't a taxi stand outside. But I can also walk...I mean, uhm, you don't have to if you have better things to do? I'm already a burden enough," he traded off, being ashamed for himself. 

If his father knew...

"Stop it right there, Alexander. I would love to give you a drive if you want to go home. And you're definitely not a burden to me, haven't been at one point. Please, don't think that, darling. I'm glad we met yesterday and grateful that you gave me the chance to help you," Magnus told him soothingly. 

And once more, Alec couldn't help believing Magnus. He didn't understand this feeling, never had something like this before. Not wanting to lose it, Alec blurted out.

"I don't know where to go."

"What do you mean, darling? Don't you have a place to go?" Magnus asked in concern, about to touch Alec, but stopped himself immediately.

"I uhm...I...kind of. I live at my parents' home, you know? And we had a fight...? I can't go home...my Dad," Alec tried to explain without explaining, blushing and averting his eyes from Magnus' gaze. It was all too much at this point. So many emotions were running through his body, and Alec found himself feeling the panic rising in his gut once more. His breathing increased, and his view became blurry in an instant.

"Alexander, it's alright. You don't have to explain anything you can't yet. Would it help you if you would stay for another night?" 

"I'm a burden, Magnus, you'll regret that offer, I'm sure you will." Alec murmured hoarsely, still fighting the rising panic. 

He didn't even know why or understood it. 

This was just a normal conversation, he didn't need to panic. Magnus was so kind to him, but the fear of being rejected was too much. Alec couldn't allow himself to get used to Magnus' kindness. He would suffer too much afterward.

"Don't think that, darling. I don't think you are a burden." Magnus assured once more. "Hey, concentrate on your breathing, Alexander. You don't need to be afraid of anything. You're safe here, and I would never take advantage of you, nor make fun of you. Do you listen to me?" He asked as he got no response from Alec, who was trying to get himself under control. 

"Yeah," he croaked, nodding a little. He, indeed, was listening to Magnus, who's voice had such a calming effect on him.

"Alright. First off, I wouldn't make this offer if I didn't care about your well-being, Alexander. And you're clearly not doing well. I don't need to know any reasons why you're having a bad time until you're ready to talk about your problems. If you want to talk to me, to say at least. I won't force you to do anything you don't want. And secondly, I would feel better to know that you have a place where you can stay. I really don't know where this is coming from in such a short time, but I do care a lot about you, Alexander, and I hope you allow me to help you."

Alec was stunned, his rising panic forgotten. Besides his siblings, who didn't know anything about his mental state, no one had never been so nice to him, so worried about him. It melted his heart, and Alec knew he'd always remember these words. He lifted his eyes to directly look at Magnus, who was holding his gaze with intensity, so strong, Alec had never seen in his life.

He didn't know how long they just stared at each other, the emotion evident in both their eyes, until Alec finally gave in and nodded.

"Thank you, Magnus. I don't know why I deserve this, but thank you," he murmured gratefully but also very ashamed. Alec simply didn't know how to handle so much kindness by a stranger.

"I'm sure you deserve it, Alexander," Magnus assured him, smiling gently until Alec finally managed to relax a little bit more. 

"I have to tell my sister that I'll be away for one more night...I'm sure she's already freaking out," Alec murmured after a moment. He didn't realize how drained he felt until now and how much time had passed.

"Sure. You really should do that, darling."

And so Alec got up, walked back into Magnus' bedroom to call his sister. She picked up after the second ring.

"Alec!" Izzy almost screamed into the phone. "I was so worried! Where are you? Are you okay? Max told me you had a fight with Dad?"

"I'm good, Izzy...just needed a time-out. I'm at a...at. I'm at a friend's place. Don't know how long I'll stay," Alec explained slowly. He didn't want his sister to worry more than she already did.

"Alec...was it that bad?" Izzy asked after a moment. "What did Dad say?"

"It's fine, Izzy, really. I just need to figure things out, and maybe it's better if I stay away from home for a while. But if you need anything, you can call me any time, Iz." Alec assured her as calm as possible. He knew Izzy loved their Dad beyond words and didn't want to be the one to destroy that.

"Same here, Alec. I know you're not telling me everything. But I'm here for you as well if you need me, big brother. Do you get that?" Izzy asked him firmly, and Alec nodded, his eyes filling with tears at his sister's words.

"Thank you, Iz," he almost whispered. "It's good to hear that," he added truthfully, hoping she wouldn't push him into talking.

"It's okay, Alec. Hey, do you need anything from home? Clothes, maybe, or some personal things. I can bring it over, or we meet tomorrow. Just as you want to."

"That would be nice...I'll text you tomorrow, okay?" Alec asked her gratefully. Izzy was fast to agree, and after little more small talk, they said their goodbyes. 

Alec felt relieved not having to go home, at least for tonight. He could figure something out then.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts, and Alec realized he must've been sitting here for a while when Magnus carefully opened the door and asked him if he was okay.

Alec nodded a little, trying on a slight smile at least.

"Mind if I join you for a moment, Alexander?" Magnus asked then, and Alec nodded once more.

"It's your home, you don't have to ask me, Magnus," Alec told him softly, touched by Magnus' actions.

"I don't mind, darling. I just want you to be comfortable for tonight, and I think we should get clear about a few things first," Magnus told him gently, as he carefully sat down beside Alec. "Is it okay to talk about it?"

"Yes, yes, of course," Alec answered slowly, watching Magnus in awe. This man was such a unique human. Alec didn't deserve so much kindness; he knew that. But if Magnus offered it, he wouldn't refuse it, even if he didn't know how to cope with all of that. 

"What do you want, Alexander? I have a second room for guests if you'd like to use it. You also can stay here with me. I'm okay with both. It's your decision, darling," Magnus asked him gently, leaving it for Alec to decide. And Alec didn't have time to think twice before he blurted out his answer.

"Can I...can I stay here? Please?" Feeling himself blushing, Alec put his hand on his neck, caressing the skin nervously. Even if Magnus had offered it, Alec still felt like the other man would refuse to let him sleep by his side.

"Of course you can, Alexander. Better for me to check if you're alright," Magnus told him with an evident smile in his voice.

"Thank you....really, I appreciate this so much," Alec murmured. "I don't know what I would do without your help," he added, the emotion and vulnerability apparent in his voice.

"I'm glad I can help you, darling. Whenever you need me tonight, just wake me, okay?"

"Okay," Alec agreed, risking a look at Magnus, who was watching him with a wry smile.

"Can I ask you something?" The question had left his mouth without him realizing it. But Alec had to know.

"Of course, Alexander. You can ask me anything."

"Are you gay?" Alec blurted out before Magnus was able to end his sentence. If Alec could blush more, he was sure it was happening right now.

Another smile appeared on Magnus' face. A gentle, understanding smile. Magnus wasn't making fun on him, just like he'd promised, and Alec felt more than relieved.

"I'm not gay, I'm bisexual," Magnus gently told him then, and Alec nodded slowly after a moment.

"Okay," he answered lamely, nodding once more. Alec didn't mind at all. But he also didn't know what to say more. And Magnus, again, didn't push him.

"If you have question's, don't hesitate to ask me, Alexander. I will tell you if it's a little too fast forward or if I'm uncomfortable. But don't shut yourself down when you're with me," he just said, smiling gently at him. 

"I'll try," Alec answered. He didn't know if he would be able to, but Magnus' encouragement helped him a lot.

"Let's get some more rest, darling. We can figure out more in the morning. Are you alright with that?"

"Yeah. I guess I'm not a good company anyway," Alec said, feeling really exhausted from everything that had happened.

"Oh, I'm enjoying your company very much, Alexander. But I think a little more sleep won't do any harm."

And Alec knew he was right.

Both of them got ready for bed then, Magnus needing a lot more time in the bath than Alec. As he finally stepped out of the bathroom, without any make-up and jewelry, Alec couldn't stop himself from watching Magnus in awe. He still was so very beautiful to Alec, he would never be able to hide his affection for the other man.

Magnus laid down beside Alec and turned to face him, both lying on their sides, watching each other for a moment.

"Is that okay, Alexander?"

"Yes...yes it is. It's good," Alec replied, feeling safe and cared about at Magnus' side. He hadn't felt this for the longest time and just kept relishing the fact that someone cared about him.

"Okay, I'm glad then. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask or wake me, darling," Magnus told him once more, smiling gently at him.

"Will do," Alec answered honestly before he closed his tired eyes. "Goodnight, Magnus. Thank you for everything," he murmured gratefully.

"Goodnight, Alexander. You're more than welcome," Magnus answered, but Alec didn't hear it, he was already fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it, let me know


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving comments and kudos, I really appreciate it ♥  
I hope you like the next Chapter, pls let me know ♥

Magnus woke up in the middle of the night to sounds, he wasn't used to hearing in his bedroom. Someone was vigorously tossing and turning around beside him, murmuring words he didn't understand. It took Magnus quite a moment to realize that it was his guest, Alexander, who was lying beside him. And he, apparently, wasn't comfortable in his sleep. He must have an awful dream, Magnus thought to himself, listening to the sounds, Alec made. Murmuring something, Magnus didn't understand, he watched Alec helpless for a few more moments, hoping, the younger man would wake up on his own. It was when Alec almost whimpered in fear and began to tremble all over his body, obviously in pure terror, that Magnus jumped into action, deciding to wake Alec before his nightmare became worse than it already was. If that was even possible.

"Alexander," silently saying his name in the hopes, the younger man would wake up. Magnus didn't dare to touch him without Alec's permission.

"Alexander, wake up," he said a little bit louder when Alec didn't respond to him but whimpered once more in fear. He had to call his name at least three more times before Alec's eyes popped open, and his gaze frantically began to roam around the room, heavy gasps escaping him. Evidently, Alec didn't remember where he actually was, and panic was starting to settle in.

"You're safe, Alexander. Just had a nightmare, darling," Magnus cooed in his most soothing voice when Alec's panic-filled eyes found and recognized him a few moments later. Alec's breathing immediately calmed down after that.

"O...Okay," he whispered, his voice hoarse and full of emotions. "I'm sorry for disturbing you," he added after a few tries of speaking and stopping again, and Magnus saw the lone tear that escaped Alec's eye.

"Don't be, Alexander. Are you okay? Or do you want to talk about your dream?"

"I...I don't...I don't want to bother you. I'm going to be f...fine," Alec murmured ashamedly. "I can't talk about the dream anyway...it's...," he said but stopped immediately after stuttering a few more words, and his before pale cheeks turned red.

"Alexander. It's alright. You're not bothering me in any way. You can't talk about it, and that's perfectly fine. Let me make an offer, okay?"

Magnus kept his voice calm, Alec was still slightly shaking beside him, obviously taken aback by the nightmare he'd just had. The other man nodded frantically. It was so evident that he was so badly craving for comfort, but something stopped him from taking what he needed.

"First off, that's something I beg you to do, okay? Just wake me up if another nightmare hit's you. I speak from experience when I say that it helps when, at least, someone is awake with you after a nightmare. Just...knowing that you're not alone is so precious. Secondly, you can talk to me about anything, and I won't take advantage of that, nor will I make fun of you. I would never do that in any way. _ Never, Alexander. _ Thirdly, sometimes a warm embrace is more helpful than any word." 

Alec silently listened to him and laid there for a while, not saying a word, but still slightly trembling.

"Okay."

Magnus almost overheard Alec's answer. But when this so handsome man turned his head and watched him nervously, Magnus understood. He opened his arms immediately for Alec, inviting him.

Alec, obviously craving for this, looked at Magnus with his eyes wide open. Tears still stung in his beautiful hazel eyes, and he looked like he was about to panic again.

"You're safe, Alexander, I promise. I won't let anyone harm you, while you're with me," Magnus encouraged him, his voice calm.

A silent sob escaped Alec as he slowly shifted closer to Magnus, a few tears slid down Alec's cheek as he approached Magnus' and awkwardly laid down in his arms.

"It's okay to be vulnerable, Alexander. I got you. Take what you need, I won't reject you. It'll be fine. Can I put my arm around you, darling?"

Alec still trembled in his arms, his emotions evidently overwhelming him as he listened to Magnus' calming words. He nodded frantically and Magnus carefully placed his hand on Alec's tense shoulder. The younger man let out a heavy breath and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Is this okay, Alexander? Or shall I put it away? It's okay in any way, just talk to me. I don't want to make you more uncomfortable than you're already are."

"It's okay. I just...I need a moment. I haven't...it's...just that...I'm not used to this," Alec stuttered, deeply ashamed. Magnus' heart clenched at these words. He could feel Alec's hurt, and the utter need to help the other man almost overwhelmed him. Magnus had never felt this way in a long time. He'd shut down his feelings for years, but Alec, this sweet human being, melted his walls down in an instant.

"Tell me what you need, or just make yourself comfortable, Alexander. Whatever it is, it will be just fine," Magnus soothingly encouraged Alec. "This is a safe place, tell that to yourself, and I will prove to you that you are."

Another silent sob escaped Alec as he nodded once more. "I don't know how...I'm so awkward, Magnus, I'm sorry," he murmured but managed to relax just a little bit into Magnus' embrace.

"You're not awkward, Alexander, don't tell yourself that. And you're doing just fine, we have all the time you need."

"But I am," Alec disagreed, his voice full of emotions who dared to break out. "You don't know me enough to say I'm not."

Magnus couldn't help but chuckle a little at these words, which were so full of truth. He also couldn't help but squeeze Alec's shoulder gently in the afford to give him some comfort.

"That's true. But I would love to get to know you better. To prove to you that you're not as awkward as you think you are, or as someone told you, Alexander. Because I think I have an incredible human being right here in my arms. And I also believe that something terrible happened to you, something you didn't deserve Alexander. All I can do right now is offer you a safe haven, and that's what I'm doing."

"Magnus...," Alec only whimpered in response, his words clearly overwhelming him. But finally, Alec shifted as close as possible into Magnus' arms, carefully placing his head on the other man's chest.

"It's okay, darling. I'm here. You're safe with me," Magnus murmured reassuringly. "Do you want me to hold you like that?" Magnus still had his hand on Alec's shoulder. Touching him just a little.

"Yes...yes, please," Alec murmured, hiding his face from Magnus' gaze. Carefully, the other man put his arm a little bit tighter around Alec's shoulder, observing him. Alec didn't flinch or tensed, but he relaxed a little bit more when Magnus lovingly cradled him to his chest.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Magnus asked silently after a moment, slowly stroking circles around Alec's upper arm, feeling the younger man relaxing a little bit more.

"Yes," Alec's reply was silent, yet still full of emotions. All so slowly, he put his arm beside his head on Magnus' chest. It felt as if Alec just belonged in that spot, and Magnus couldn't stop himself from squeezing him lovingly for his braveness.

"It feels great for me, too, Alexander. You're so brave, and I'm glad to have you in my arms."

He knew Alec was listening to him, as he tenderly caressed up and down his arm. Alec was too silent to be asleep. His body still too tense.

"Don't allow yourself to think you're awkward. Whatever it is, you're going through, it's obviously a lot. And it's absolutely fine to have a hard time. Everyone's going through this in their own way. But if I'm able to help you in any way, Alexander, I'll gladly be here for you. Don't be ashamed to ask for it," he silently told the man in his arms, feeling the desperate need to make him feel at least a little bit better.

"I don't deserve any of that Magnus. Sooner or later, you won't say these things anymore," Alec whispered emotionally.

"Alexander, whatever people told you, let me make one thing clear. I'm not them. I don't judge you for what you are."

"But what am I, Magnus?"

"You're special, just as special as I am," Magnus responded, undoubtedly, as a matter of fact. The way Alec looked and acted around him had made it clear to Magnus, but he wanted to give Alec the chance to say it out loud. "And it's not weird in any way. You're not weird, either."

Alec remained silent for a while, lying in Magnus' arms. After a long moment, he finally nodded, accepting Magnus' words just as simple as Magnus had told him.

"Thank you," the younger man whispered emotionally, but also very exhausted. "I guess, you're really different," he murmured, finally fully melting into Magnus embrace.

"That's right, I am. Just like you. I will never judge you, Alexander. There's nothing wrong with you, nothing you don't deserve. You deserve everything nice in this world. We're all special in our own ways, and that's absolutely fine. You are unique, don't you dare forget that, darling. You can trust me, right here you're safe with me," he encouragingly whispered into Alec's ear, feeling the younger man shudder at his words. Magnus, once more, squeezed Alec lovingly to his chest, almost kissing the top of Alec's black hair, but stopping himself from doing that. It was way too early for this kind of thing.

"Try to rest a little bit longer, Alexander. I'm here if you need me," he murmured, and Alec nodded a little, this time, squeezing Magnus so tenderly, the other man almost didn't recognize it.

"Thank you, Magnus," he croaked emotionally. "Thank you so very much," he murmured once more. Magnus practically could feel Alec's overwhelming emotions.

"You're welcome, Alexander. You can't imagine how much," Magnus whispered honestly. They really needed to figure many things out, but somehow, Magnus knew that he and Alec had something special. He just hoped that they would get the chance to get to know each other better.

"Wake me up, at any time," he whispered once more, feeling the need to tell it to Alec again, and again, and again. "You're not alone, darling."

"I try to."

It was nothing more than a whisper, but Magnus believed that Alec would do it.

And he did.

At least two more times, Alec woke up in Magnus' arms, gasping for air, terribly trembling at his side. It took them a while to calm Alec down properly, and Magnus got the feeling that the nightmares grew worse with every time Magnus put Alec back down to sleep.

"You know what? Let's get some fresh air and a strong coffee to clear our heads," Magnus determined at five in the morning. It made no sense to try to get some more rest. 

"I'm so sorry," Alec murmured ashamedly at his side, still snuggled up against Magnus, but clearly exhausted. "I should leave, so you can get at least a few more hours of sleep."

"Don't be sorry, Alexander. If you want to leave, it's okay, and I won't stop you. But I don't mind getting up for a walk, have a coffee and keeping you some company as well."

"I don't. I just...," Alec frustratedly huffed at his side, and Magnus squeezed him tenderly.

"It's settled then. We go out, grab a coffee. There's a park near my apartment. We could walk for a while and try to go back to sleep later. How does that sound?"

Alec nodded hesitantly, rubbing his red-rimmed eyes. "Okay," he murmured, slowly sitting up. "Where's the place? I ask Izzy to bring some fresh clothes. She'll be up anyway in a few, and we could meet her there. If that's okay," Alec asked, and Magnus nodded encouragingly.

"Of course it is," Magnus told him and told Alec the address of the park before he got out of bed.

Alec took his cell in his hand and typed something to his sister, before laying it back down on the nightstand, when he got his response a few minutes later.

"She'll be there later," Alec told him, and Magnus nodded with a soft smile.

"Take your time, Alexander, I might need a while to get ready," Magnus honestly told him. He didn't want to rush. If they were about to meet Alec's sister, he wanted to look representable, at least.

"Magnus?"

Magnus, already looking for what to wear, turned his head a little to look at Alec. The younger man was watching him with so many emotions in his eyes. Magnus' heart clenched at this sight. Alec was so pale, his red-rimmed, tired eyes standing out. Magnus didn't say a word, Alec already was searching for the right words, and Magnus decided to give him the time he needed.

"I...just...thank you, I don't know what else to say. We're strangers, and you're so kind. I don't...I can't wrap my head around it...why. I mean...I'm such a burden, even if you don't say so, I know I am," he stuttered, lifting his hand to rub his neck ashamedly, his eyes suddenly focusing on the bedsheets. "If I'm too much...I mean, it's okay to tell me," he added almost in a whisper. "I'll understand."

Magnus watched Alec for another while, waiting if there was something more, Alec needed to say. He put his clothes on a nearby chair, and walked over to Alec, sat down beside him. Alec's shoulders became tense, and Magnus could see the tears, the younger man couldn't stop from falling.

"Alexander. You're anything but a burden. I told you last night, and I will repeat it until you believe me. I'm gladly here to help you. You're not too much, in any way. Sure, the night's rest wasn't as much as I'm used to, but it's nothing a little bit of make-up, and a strong coffee can't fix."

Magnus carefully put his hand above Alec's. He slightly trembled at the contact but didn't put his hand away.

"Don't make yourself small. If I wouldn't want you here, you weren't, you should know that too. I don't give that offer to every person I meet." He squeezed Alec's hand tenderly, smiling gently when Alec carefully lifted his head to risk a look at Magnus. Magnus almost reached out to Alec's cheek as he saw the tears streaming down on Alec's face. But Magnus decided against it, and instead, pulled the younger man into his arms. That was something Alec was used to, something he'd accepted last night. Alec buried his head in the crook of Magnus' neck, wettening his skin, but the other man couldn't care less as Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' waist in the afford to come as close as possible. He couldn't be prouder of Alec for taking what he needed.

"You're doing fine, Alexander. Let it all out. I got you," Magnus whispered soothingly into Alec's hair as he cradled him to his chest.

It took Alec another while to stop the tears from falling, but Magnus felt him relaxing against him until he finally pulled out of the embrace to look at Magnus.

"Thank you," he murmured shyly. "I don't know what has gotten into me," he added. Rubbing his red eyes once more, Alec glanced down at the bedsheets.

"I guess you needed that," Magnus encouragingly told him with a soft smile. "No need to be ashamed, okay?"

Alec slowly nodded, shooting him a slight, wry smile. It didn't reach his eyes, but Magnus relished it anyway.

"I should get ready. Can't let Izzy wait for forever," he murmured, squeezing Magnus' hand in a silent thank you before he got up.

"Let's get ready, then," Magnus agreed and got up as well. 

They got ready and headed out together, walking to the next coffee shop, both of them ordering a big americano before they headed to the park, where they would meet Alec's sister.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Izzy and honest conversations ahead

They found Izzy a few minutes after they'd entered the park. She was sitting on a bench. Izzy, also, had a big mug coffee to go, holding it in both her hands as if to gain some warmth from it. A black sports bag was lying on the ground between her feet. She - like always - was dressed to kill. Black skinny jeans and a long, burgundy coat suited her perfectly, as well as her favorite black knee-high boots. Her hair, as black as Alec's, was pinned up to a beautiful dot. Her make-up fitted her style perfectly. Briefly speaking: she looked gorgeous as always.

Alec called out her name, and she looked up immediately, smiling at the sight of her bigger brother. That smile was shortly replaced with a frown when she took in Alec's appearance. Alec saw her look, and his whole body instantly tensed at Magnus' side. 

"It's okay, just breathe," Magnus silently assured him, putting his hand tenderly on Alec's shoulder in the afford to calm him as he sensed Alec's tension. That's when Alec realized he was, indeed, holding his breath. Alec was far from ready to face anyone of his family, but he didn't have a choice. He needed some fresh clothes and some other personal things as well. Taking in a deep breath, Alec forced a fake smile and nodded towards Izzy.

"Thank you," he whispered to Magnus, looking softly at the other man for quite a moment, before he finally approached his sister, hugging her the moment she rose to her feet.

"What's wrong, Alec?" Izzy murmured silently, returning Alec's embrace with much more enthusiasm. "You look like shit," she added truthfully, pulling out of the embrace to observe him carefully. "I've never seen you like this before."

Alec knew how he looked, he'd seen his appearance in the mirror of Magnus' bathroom earlier. And he also didn't like the dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes. The paleness. The sad look, he couldn't get rid of. But he couldn't help it. Being so exhausted and vulnerable wasn't his plan either, and he didn't know how to get out of it right now.

"I'm okay, Izzy, don't you worry, okay?" He told her with an earnest expression on his face. "I just need some time to myself. You know? Like a vacation," he said with the most calming voice he could afford at the moment, which, honestly, wasn't very much. "It was a little bit much lately, and I don't think I had one in forever," he added sternly, hoping for Izzy to take his words as a believable explanation.

Izzy watched him for a moment, a frown on her face. 

And Alec realized then that he hadn't convinced his little sister in any way, but to his luck, she nodded nevertheless.

"You know that you can talk to me, Alec. Right? About anything. Jace and I will always be there if you need us," she told him firmly. "Max also. They, no. We. We love you," she added, looking at him with the same expression, Alec had earlier.

Alec felt the tears welling up once more for today, and so he just nodded, not trusting his voice in any way. To hear he was loved always troubled him. 

_ You're not lovable in any way. You're disgusting. An abnormality, no one will ever be able to love you. _

Shuddering for a moment, he took a deep breath, forcing himself to shut his father's voice out of his head. 

He had to change the topic, it was his only way of getting out of this topic before having a second breakdown today.

Clearing his throat, he turned around a little. Magnus was standing a few feet behind them, patiently waiting like he'd promised to Alec earlier. He smiled softly at Alec when he waved him closer.

"Izzy, this is Magnus. I've been at his home for the last two nights," he explained, fondly looking over at Magnus, who smiled at him all so tenderly once more, the moment he saw Alec's expression. Alec's heart clenched at this sight, and he felt himself calming a little bit more.

"Hello, Magnus," Izzy self-confidently shook his hand the moment Magnus stepped closer. "Thank you for giving my brother a shelter," she added, smiling at him, also taking in Magnus' whole appearance. "Wow, I guess I've never seen a man who's eyeliner is so perfectly done like yours. And your outfit...You look magnificent!" Izzy didn't look surprised at all at Magnus' sight.

"Why, thank you, Izzy. Well, I guess I've had a lot of practice. By the way...Izzy...Isabelle, by any chance? You also don't look bad by yourself. You have an exquisite taste I must say," Magnus chatted carefreely with Alec's sister. Alec watched them for a while, not speaking any word by himself. He really wasn't good at small talk. But Izzy and Magnus clearly came around very well, and it was so delightful to see that. They had a lot of the same interests, after all, with both of them liking fashion to start with.

"Okay, I have to go to work, guys," Izzy said after a few more moments and went to hug her brother tightly once more. "Be careful, big brother, and call me, or Jace, if you need anything. And well, it's not just about clothes, you know? I'm also here if you want to talk," she whispered as they hugged, and Alec nodded. Afraid for Izzy to hear the vulnerability, her words caused.

"Thank you," he whispered before they pulled out of each other's arms and smiled at Izzy, swallowing down his tears at all costs.

She left soon after, and Alec pulled the sports bag off the ground, throwing it over one shoulder as he approached Magnus again, who was waiting a few feet away.

"Your sister really is a sight," Magnus told him cheerfully when Alec finally approached him.

"Yes, she is," Alec agreed, a slight smile put on his face. 

"But you don't talk to her as much as she wishes," Magnus said as a matter of fact when they started walking further into the park.

"I'm her big brother. I shouldn't burden her with my problems. She really has enough on her own mind," Alec answered truthfully. "She'd just found a new job," he explained further, knowing that these were just pitty excuses.

He couldn't do this to her.

But also, and most importantly, Alec was afraid of getting rejected by her, or Jace, and Max. 

He would never get over this. 

He somehow was able to bear the things his father was telling him and doing to him. 

But his siblings? They meant the world to him. 

He couldn't lose any of them because of what he was.

"I see. You always use to be the strong one for your siblings. But you know that you don't have to? I can just imagine how glad she'll listen to you, help you with the things you can't work out on your own," Magnus told him tenderly, as they walked side by side. Closer than necessary to be honest. But Alec didn't mind. He enjoyed the closeness to Magnus so much. He somehow was able to ground him at least a little bit.

"I know that I could do this. I just can't. It would destroy Izzy if she knew," he told Magnus honestly. Realizing he could talk a little bit more, Alec did it. He started many times before he finally managed to say something.

"It's my Dad. She loves him so much, and I can't tell her what he's doing with...uhm...to me. It's the same with Jace, my adoptive brother. He looks up to our father. I couldn't live with the fact to be the person who destroys what they have. I know I would. And Max. He is too young and just shouldn't know anything about all of this."

Alec looked away, fighting once more against the upwelling tears in his eyes. He'd always craved for someone he could hold on to. And here Magnus was, giving him that so much-needed comfort. He just couldn't handle all of this very well. Alec didn't know how to cope with so much tenderness. With a person who took care of him so selflessly. Without hurting him.

"Alexander."

Alec blinked the few tears away and bent his head a little to look at Magnus, who was watching him with so much empathy, Alec felt new tears welling up, his view becoming blurry. Would he ever be able to handle this without bursting into tears? He honestly didn't know.

"I'm very sorry about that. Honestly. But you don't always have to be the strong one, you know that, right?" 

Magnus asked him empathetically, tenderly lifting his arm to put it on Alec's shoulder. "It's okay to be vulnerable, Alexander, to need someone to lean on," he added. "And it's okay to struggle with whatever happened or happens to you."

Alec nodded slowly, feeling tears sliding down his cheeks. He'd been taught to be the strong one. Men had to be reliable, they weren't allowed to cry. They weren't allowed to show weakness. They weren't allowed to love other men. They weren't allowed...allowed...allowed.

Alec didn't realize he had a breakdown until his knees hit the ground, and he heard himself sobbing, hugging his arms tightly around his torso.

Magnus was fast at his side, cradling Alec to his chest, murmuring caring nonsense into his ears until he calmed down enough. Alec fastly put his arms around Magnus' body. He didn't understand where this was coming from. He'd never cried so much in his entire life than in these last few days.

"I'm so sorry," he hoarsely murmured, hiding his face in the crook of Magnus' neck as he clung to him.

"Don't be. Let's just get you home, Alexander. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable," Magnus silently told him, obviously feeling guilty for Alec's breakdown.

"You didn't. I don't know what's gotten into me, Magnus. I don't ever...I...I feel so strange since...," he squeezed Magnus, didn't know how to explain what he actually was feeling.

"It's okay, darling. It honestly is. You don't have to tell or explain anything to me." 

Magnus, once more, cradled him to his chest, and Alec inhaled the older man's scent, letting it calm him down more and more.

"Let's go home, Alexander. We can talk there if you want to, or just sit together and watch a movie, just as you wish," Magnus suggested, and Alec nodded in response, suddenly being aware of the place they were at, and the people who evidently were watching them.

"Yes. Yes, please," he begged. 

And that's what they did. 

They went home quickly, making themselves comfortable on Magnus' couch with some camomille tea, a few woolen blankets, snacks, and a movie.

Alec didn't follow the movie, he just kept staring at one point. Taking his time, he desperately thought about how to start this conversation. And Magnus, the angel that he was, just gave him the time he needed.

"I guess you've figured it out already," he hoarsely started after what felt like a lifetime. "But I'm gay." It was the first time he'd ever said that since he'd told his father all those years ago. It sent a shiver of fear down his spine. 

But Magnus just patiently nodded beside him, taking a sip from his tea. "I had some thoughts about it," he answered empathetically, and understanding, watching him with a soft expression. Alec couldn't see any hint of disgust. It made him braver to tell a little bit more. They were, at least, on the same page with Magnus being bisexual. Alec took a deep, calming breath, still feeling a little tense about the topic, but he'd managed to talk again after a few tries.

"It's just...I told my Dad...years ago, you know? I told him that I thought I was in love with a classmate. I was confused, and I guess...I needed someone to help me, to explain it to me, because until then I've never seen a gay couple before, I just realized more and more that I wasn't interested in girls like Jace was...and he, not Jace. But my Dad, uhm, he just kept telling me that I'm a freak, abnormal, and disgusting," he blabbered, not giving all the pieces of information. He just couldn't talk about what his father had done...was still doing to him beside this.

Magnus carefully took his hand in his, to give him some comfort. It was just then that Alec realized he was trembling. Never before he'd talked about this topic to anyone.

"I...I came to the realization that it was better to just keep it hidden. To pretend that I've...I've changed. But my Dad knew better than that...I can't talk about everything, Magnus," he whispered brokenly, feeling Magnus squeezing his hand tenderly, showing him that it was okay.

"Tell me when you think you're ready," Magnus cajoled empathetically. "I'll be here if you are. And thank you for trusting me with this. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you, Alexander."

Alec nodded shakily, relieved that Magnus didn't push anything here. That he, so willingly, gave him comfort.

"Thank you," he murmured gratefully, this time squeezing Magnus' hand by himself. "It's so exhausting to talk about it," he added truthfully. 

"I totally understand that, darling. do you need some rest?"

"I don't think I can sleep right now," Alec answered, his mind still racing with everything that had happened.

"Let's watch another movie, then? Any wishes?" Magnus suggested then empathetically. Alec slowly nodded in agreement, liking this idea much better. That was something he actually could enjoy. 

"Something funny, maybe?"

"Absolutely. Something funny is just what both of us need," Magnus agreed. He put in a DVD and sat down beside Alec once more. It took Alec a moment to get over it, but after that, he gained all his remaining braveness and shyly took Magnus' hand in his.

He needed the other man's closeness and didn't know how to ask for it properly. Alec just didn't know how to do it right.

"Is...is that..." He started, blushing heavily before the words were caught in his throat. The fear of being rejected was too overwhelming to say one more word.

"Of course it is, Alexander. It's more than okay," Magnus assured him, squeezing Alec's hand tenderly. "You're not doing anything wrong, okay?"

Alec nodded shakily. "Thank you," he murmured shyly. "I don't know how to do this, Magnus."

"I know. But you'll be fine, Alexander. It might take some time, but you will work things out. And while you're with me, you can take what you're craving for, Alexander. I won't judge you, you'll see," Magnus told him soothingly, sensing the nerves coming from Alec. Alec never had met a person who could read him so very well. Even better than his own father. 

"Do you really think so? I can't see that," he murmured. Alec, so badly wanted to believe Magnus' words but felt unable to.

"Right now, you might not. Give yourself some time, Alexander. No one heals overnight," Magnus patiently told him, squeezing his hand tenderly. "Just don't stop trying and fighting for what you deserve, and for what you want."

Alec nodded, taking in Magnus' words. He wanted to try, wanted to fight. But he didn't know how.

"How did you...uhm, how did you become so strong? I mean...," Alec started, but didn't know how to frame it.

"I wasn't always this strong Alexander. It was a very long and exhausting progress, hard work to be honest." Magnus began, and Alec nodded a little, but before he could answer, Magnus started talking again.

"When I was a young boy...about ten years old, my mother killed herself. She suffered from depression and couldn't handle life anymore. My stepfather wasn't very helpful at all. He cheated on her and spent all our money on drinking. We hadn't very much back then, and my mother worked very hard to get me food or things I needed for school.

I was the one to find her, lying peacefully in her bed as if to be asleep. If it hadn't been for the blood dripping from the bed, I wouldn't have recognized anything. 

I was in shock. My mother meant the world to me. She was the only person who'd ever shown me love. 

I ran to find my stepdad, to tell him what happened, but guess what? He already knew," Magnus told him, his voice calm. Alec carefully bent his head to observe him. His face didn't carry any emotion with it, but Alec could feel the tenseness coming from Magnus. 

"My stepdad sat on a bench at the nearby river and was already waiting for me. Of course, he was drunk. He told me it was my fault my mother killed herself. Said she killed herself because she'd never been able to forgive herself for giving life to a monster like me. That she didn't love me.

My stepdad tried to drown me then, but somehow I was able to get out of his grip and ran away. I ran to the next Sheriff's Office, as fast as I could. They took care of my stepfather.

I was given to the orphanage and spent the rest of my youth there."

"Thank you for trusting me with this..." Alec murmured, still observing the other man, this time taking all his courage to squeeze Magnus' hand.

Magnus wryly smiled, bending his head a little to look at Alec. Alec could see how hard it was on him to talk about it after all those years. Could see the haunted look in his beautiful almost-golden eyes.

"The thing is, Alexander. I suffered, I suffered a very long time. Because I believed the words, my Dad had told me. For many years I hated myself for that, and I punished myself for being so hateful and disgusting. For being the reason that my own mother took her life. I've never let anyone close to me. That was until I met my now best friend Catarina when I was sixteen. She helped me a lot. I will  _ forever _ be grateful for the time she invested in helping me. We talked a lot about what had happened after I finally was able to trust her enough. She helped me seeing, no, remembering things I'd forgotten, and I was finally able to see what I'd overlooked in my parents' relationship. And I realized that nothing of what had happened was my fault. I got better after that. Day by day. I had to fight hard to become the man I am now, but I'm proud I made it."

Alec clung to every word Magnus told him. His heart clenched for the other man.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," he whispered after a moment.

"I'm sorry, too. It's just one thing about me. I felt I needed to tell you. But there are things in our past we can't change. And believe me, I have  _ many _ stories I'm not very proud of. We just can fight our way out of it, become stronger. And, whatever happened to you, Alexander, it is on you to fight to get the life you want to live," Magnus, very gently, told him. 

This time, Magnus' smile reached his eyes. He pulled his hand out of Alec's, who suddenly felt very cold and lost without Magnus' hand holding his. But it didn't last long, to be honest just until Magnus had laid down on the couch, made some space for Alec, and opened his arms for him.

"Come on, I know you want it. And I can't say I don't enjoy our cuddles a lot," Magnus said, smiling affectionately at him. Alec found his heart beating a little bit faster at these words.

"You sure?" He asked hesitantly, already shifting a little bit closer to Magnus.

"Of course, I am. Come on, I usually don't give those invitations, you should feel honored," Magnus teased, winking at Alec, making him blush in an instant.

"I do," Alec answered, leaning his body against Magnus', snuggling closer to him when Magnus put his arms around him.

"That's good. Because I feel honored to have your trust, Alexander. I don't take it for granted."

"I don't know why, but trusting you is so easy, Magnus," Alec murmured honestly as he listened to his steady heartbeat. "I haven't felt this in a...in forever," he added. It was overwhelming, to be honest, confusing, to say at least. But on the other side, he'd never felt this safe before. And he enjoyed it. So. Very. Much.

"I'm glad you do. It's always good to have a place or a person to lean on if things get too heavy."

"I can't do this to you, Magnus, I'm a..."

"A burden?" Magnus interrupted him. "Clearly, you are not. I'm fine, and I'm glad you trust me. I will repeat it as long as you understand it. You're not a burden, and I really enjoy your company. I do believe that you will get better, and I can't wait to see you like that, too," Magnus said, squeezing Alec tenderly, placing a kiss on Alec's hair. He hadn't done that before, and Alec almost hadn't felt it because of the tenderness. It felt surprisingly great, and Alec found himself snuggling as close as possible against Magnus' body.

"I do enjoy your company too. And I guess I'm, uhm, afraid of losing this? I mean...I don't know any of this: I'm not good at it. Maybe I'll get too much for you and..."

"Stop it right there, darling. Take one step at a time. There's no rush, tell that to yourself. We...you will get there."

"We?"

Alec's breath got caught in his throat as he waited for a response.

"If you want me to be a part of your journey. Then yes, it's we, or us to say better," Magnus answered after a moment, clearly unsure by himself this time.

"I'd like that," Alec murmured shyly. He really would love to spend more time with Magnus.

"I'd like that too, Alexander."

Alec's heart melted at these words, spoken with so much affection. And finally - finally, he was able to close his eyes as he listened to the steady beats of Magnus' heart and rest peacefully, feeling safe and protected in the other man's arms. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important realizations & confessions

Alec woke up a few hours later, still lying in Magnus' comforting and safe embrace. His head was, like before he'd fallen asleep, placed on Magnus' chest. Immediately, Alec snuggled closer as if that was even possible. He inhaled Magnus' calming scent and listened to his steady heartbeat. Alec couldn't remember if he'd ever felt so safe before. Like he belonged right here in this place, in Magnus' arms.

His parents never had been much of a hugger, most likely the opposite of it. It was just his siblings that hugged him. And that was the only thing he knew. The only comfort that was given to him in all those years. And he had been kind of okay with it because he didn't know better. 

Until now. 

Momentarily, with Magnus' arms wrapped around him, Alec felt so secure. It was a feeling he really never wanted to lose anymore. He craved for it when he wasn't in touch with Magnus. Alec wanted to explore more of all of this.

Magnus had been so beautiful to him these last two days. He made him feel so special. Like Alec actually was worth something. 

And they didn't even know each other longer than these few days. Alec really didn't know and, most importantly, didn't understand what he'd done to deserve so much kindness. 

Magnus was so caring and understanding, Alec's heart melted just at the thought of him. He never, honestly, never would want to lose him. 

Hopefully, Magnus really had meant what he'd said earlier. That Alec could get better. That he really could have what he so desperately was craving for. That they could share some parts of his way. And maybe more. Alec didn't know if it was right to even think about it, but he found himself falling for Magnus. 

However, Alec didn't want to allow himself to feel hope for a future together with Magnus. It would destroy him if things turned out in another way than Magnus had assured him. And before he could think of being in a relationship (with Magnus), he had to figure so many things out, which would leave him occupied for a while.

He had to talk to Lydia. 

And it scared the shit out of him. 

He didn't know if he would be able to do it. Knowing he would hurt Lydia broke Alec's heart, even if he had no feelings toward her, other than friendship. He knew Lydia for so many years now and really liked her as a friend. But it wouldn't be fair to marry her, knowing his feelings towards her would never change.

However, that wouldn't be the hardest part. Alec had to change his whole life. Get a new job, an apartment he could effort on his own. His father wouldn't give him any money. And honestly? He didn't want it. Alec knew he had to be as far away from his father as possible if he genuinely wanted a restart.

Alec had to start his whole life from the beginning. And he really, really wanted that. Alec hadn't realized it before, but now that he'd gotten a taste of a life he could have, he wanted more of it.

It really was so much just to think about it. And Alec didn't know if he would be able to do that. If he would struggle at some point. If he would be able to find a way out of it.

But then, he remembered Magnus' words.  _ One step at a time. _

He breathed in, slowly calming himself down, his thumb absentmindedly stroking circles around Magnus's chest. Magnus, who so willingly helped him, who wouldn't leave him alone in all of this. Magnus, who he could count on as the safe haven he would surely need.

He wasn't alone anymore. 

Had never been, honestly. Alec just had been too occupied with trying to change himself to realize it. 

"Where are you, darling?"

Alec flinched a little when Magnus' voice appeared, bringing him out of his thoughts. He hadn't realized that Magnus was awake like him. 

"Sorry, Alexander, I didn't mean to scare you," Magnus said silently, caressing Alec's upper arm tenderly in the afford to sooth him. There was no need to, though, but Magnus couldn't know.

"You didn't, I just thought you were still asleep," Alec assured Magnus, enjoying the closeness to the other man, as long as it was possible. "I was just thinking...about, uhm, a few things I have to figure out," he answered Magnus' question, realizing he really wanted to talk about it.

"Do you want to tell me what it is?" Magnus asked, sensing Alec's willing to talk just correctly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I can do that," Alec said silently, thinking about where to start this conversation. "It's super awkward, though, at least one of the things," he admitted, wanting Magnus to know what was coming wasn't a good story.

"It's okay, Alexander. I don't expect a fairy tale," Magnus assured calmingly. He still held Alec close to him, obviously enjoying the proximity as much as Alec did.

"Thank you, Magnus. Honestly. You don't know what, uhm, all of this means to me."

"Oh, it's okay, no need to thank me for anything here. I thank you for trusting me. But still, you're very welcome, darling."

Once more, Alec felt Magnus' lips through his hair, near his forehead. He closed his eyes for a minute, smiling, just enjoying that intimate act.

"I really do trust you, Magnus. So much. Is this weird?"

Magnus chuckled a little, beginning to caress lazy circles around his upper arm.

"I don't think it's weird, I guess it's just what it is. Some things are just meant to be. They need no explanation."

Magnus cradled him a little bit closer while speaking, and Alec didn't complain. He just helped Magnus by snuggling closer by himself, as if that was even possible. 

And that gave him the final strength to start talking.

"That evening we met...my Dad, he, uhm, made me propose to the daughter of a coworker of him. Lydia Branwell...I know her since we were children. We're...kind of, uhm, friends, I guess. She's nice, and I really do like her...but, you know. I could never marry her. She doesn't deserve to have a married life like that. And I...I couldn't live a lie my whole life. I would never be able to give her what she needs." He awkwardly explained, more talking to Magnus' chest while he did so, feeling himself blushing.

"Okay, that really is something," Magnus murmured after a moment of silence between them, still caressing Alec's arm up and down, unknowingly giving him comfort with this small gesture.

"Yeah...I guess it is," Alec agreed silently. He felt relieved for talking about it to Magnus, but also a little bit unsure because of his reaction. 

And Magnus took his time to respond properly.

"Darling, it's not often that I find myself speechless. Your father really made you do that?" Magnus asked after another moment of silence as if to need confirmation. And Alec realized then that Magnus indeed was shocked.

"Yes." What else should he answer? It was just like that. Alec had done what his father wanted.

"And you proposed to her? Lydia?"

"I haven't seen another way," Alec confessed slowly but honestly, not being able to explain how his father made him propose. He couldn't tell Magnus all of it, just yet. Telling him about his proposal to Lydia was a massive step for him. And Alec had only been able to talk about it because he didn't have to look directly at Magnus. Because Magnus held him, gave him comfort. "I...I, it's just...I can't explain it properly right now. I just hoped that my father would stop...with...uhm, just stop everything." Alec buried his head more into Magnus' chest, feeling the other man squeezing him gently as if to give him some more comfort.

"It's okay. Take your time. No pressure here, don't forget that."

Alec nodded gratefully, knowing that Magnus didn't force him into talking. 

He knew he would be able to explain everything to Magnus at some point. But it was still so very difficult, and out of that, it was exhausting. He began to feel tired again, even if he'd just been awake for an hour and had slept very well in Magnus' arms.

"You have to talk to her, Alexander," Magnus silently told him after one more moment. Alec nodded, he knew that he really needed to do that. But the fear was just so overwhelming.

"I know. The sooner, the better," Alec nevertheless agreed, knowing that Magnus was right. He had to force himself to talk to her, had to tell himself that he could do that. He'd forced himself to do so many things before. 

One more thing wouldn't do more harm. 

"I'm sorry about that, Alexander. But I know you'll be strong. And if you need anything, you can rely on me. Anytime, okay? I can't imagine how you must feel with all of that."

"It is a kind of normal life for me. It never has been different...I, uhm, I don't know how it works to just...you understand? Life and all. Make my own decisions, or...I don't even know what else..."

"Alexander...," Magnus hoarsely answered the emotions clear in his voice, and squeezed him so tight, Alec's breath got caught for one moment. "I'm so sorry," he added, his voice almost breaking at the end. 

Alec was stunned. 

The compassion, Magnus had towards him was almost overwhelming. But it also helped Alec so much more than he realized at this moment.

"Don't worry about me. It's okay, Magnus. I mean...it was okay. No, wait. You know what? It's never been okay, but all I ever knew was lying about how I feel. It was better that way. At least a little bit." Alec told him, to his surprise, without stuttering at all. "These last days with you have taught me so much. And I...I kind of want to live the way I like to. Make my own decisions. Get to know how, uhm, how everything feels. Does that even make sense?"

"Totally, Alexander. That's a normal and also very healthy feeling. It's very good to feel that way. And I absolutely do understand what you mean. I'm delighted to hear these words from you. You've come to a realization overnight," Magnus praised encouragingly. 

Alec could hear the evident smile in Magnus' melodic voice. And also...could he be proud of him? He didn't know how it felt if actually someone was proud of him. His father always held him down, kept him as small as possible.

"I guess so," Alec agreed. The good night's rest indeed had helped him to clear his head. Also talking to Magnus. And not just that. Magnus showing him that he could live another life. That he was allowed to be happy just like anyone else. 

He just had to fight for it.

"When I've talked to her...can I...maybe, you don't have to say yes...I think I can get a hotel room," he traded off, his cheeks turning red in shame once more.

"You can always come back to me, Alexander. Whenever you feel you want to. You're welcome at any time. I truly mean that." The other man immediately told him. He wasn't lying, Alec felt that instantly. Instead, he felt a warmth inside his chest that had never been there before.

"Magnus...thank you...but, uhm, are you sure that I'm not bothering you?" Alec just needed to hear it once more. He trusted Magnus so much, but still, the fear of being rejected was there as well. He just didn't know it otherwise. And Alec couldn't stop feeling this fearful for now.

"Not in any way, Alexander. Never. Just call me, so I can make sure to be at home when you arrive," Magnus gently told him, making Alec believe that he, indeed, was welcome at Magnus' home.

"Okay, I can do that. But...can I also ask you something private?" He asked then, just feeling the relief to be able to go back to Magnus whenever he wanted to. It made him confident to ask something more.

"You can ask me whatever you want, Alexander," Magnus assured him, as he kept caressing his arm up and down. "I'll tell you if you're too forward."

"Okay...thank you. So, what do you do for work?" He asked then, wanting to get to know Magnus better. He was so intrigued by Magnus' whole personality and his lifestyle.

"I own a few clubs in and around New York, do you know the Pandemonium?" Magnus asked him. Alec nodded a little. He knew the club, Izzy loved to go there once in a while.

"My sister love's to go there," Alec told him smilingly, hearing Magnus chuckle in response.

"I knew I've seen her before, Isabelle isn't someone you forget easily," he said then with an amused voice. "Have you been there before?"

"Uhm...yeah, this one time when she wanted to celebrate her 21 birthday there. But I guess I'm not a person who belongs to clubs. I'm kind of, uhm, a silent bar person, if I had to explain it. If that makes sense to you." 

"I guessed that, Alexander," Magnus answered amusedly. "I wouldn't see you as one of the party people around there," he added, but nothing in his voice made Alec cringe in shame. Magnus told him that as a matter of fact, and Alec nodded, accepting the other man's words.

"Yeah, I'm really not one of them," he agreed, also an amused tone of voice carrying those words. 

"How about you, Alexander? What do you do for work?" Magnus asked then, clearly intrigued.

"I work for my father, but it's really nothing I like to do," Alec replied. He didn't like his job at all.

"What would you do if you had a choice?" Magnus asked him then, not asking for more about Alec's job, which he was grateful for.

"If it was to me, I guess, I would...uhm, I would own a book store," Alec answered silently, being ashamed of this little dream he had. There was no reason to be, he knew it, not in front of Magnus. 

"I can totally see that, Alexander," Magnus replied. Alec sighed a little in relief. He knew Magnus wouldn't make fun of him, but also his father still kept bustling around his mind. 

"You do?" Alec nevertheless asked Magnus in awe, but also in disbelief. It was so hard to wrap his head around the fact that Magnus was so understanding and strengthening. 

"Of course. I wouldn't say it if I thought that might be not the right thing for you, Alec. It's an excellent idea for a time when you made peace with yourself."

Alec nodded, understanding what Magnus meant. There was time for it, later, when Alec had figured out everything that was going wrong in his life.

"Yeah, you're right." Alec remained silent for a while before he came to a conclusion.

"I guess it's better to talk to Lydia today," he told Magnus, still listening to his steady heartbeat that sped up just a little at Alec's words.

"It's better that way, you're right. But at least, stay for breakfast?" Magnus asked him, stretching his well-toned body beside Alec's. "It might work a lot better with a stomach full of Magnus Bane's famous pancakes and a strong coffee," Magnus added, smiling fondly at him, when Alec slowly sat up, yawning as he did so.

"Sounds good to me," Alec answered, grateful for a little extra time with Magnus. "Can I help you somehow?"

"Of course, Alexander," Magnus answered cheerfully, and both of them headed to the kitchen to get their breakfast ready. They enjoyed their time together, and Alec felt so much more relaxed than he'd ever felt before in his life.

But he had to go, had to talk to Lydia.

"Call me whenever you want, Alexander," Magnus requested as they stood together in front of his apartment door. "I will be at work tonight, but that shouldn't restrain you from that, okay?"

"I will, thank you, Magnus. For everything, you know? I...thank you," Alec murmured, looking into Magnus beautiful, almost golden, eyes.

"There's no need for that, I gladly helped you. And that didn't change overnight."

"Okay. But still, thank you. I guess you know how much it means to me, or at least can imagine. I just feel the need to thank you all the time, because I really am grateful," Alec told him, blushing as he did so. But he held Magnus' gaze and smiled fondly at the other man. And Magnus just responded his smile and nodded, accepting his words as they were. He stepped closer to Alec, pulling him in for a tender embrace. Immediately, Alec wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller man and placed his head in the crook of Magnus' neck, enjoying the hug they shared.

* * *

* * *

After they'd said their goodbyes, Magnus watched Alec walking away from a window of his living room, his heart clenching at the sight of Alec walking away. He already missed the beautiful man in his home. But hopefully, they would get to see each other soon. If it were to Magnus, it would be tonight. He would patiently wait for Alexander to call him, but, of course, hoped it wouldn't take too long.

But, to Magnus' surprise, or more to his worries, Alec didn't call or text him for the next five days. He also didn't respond to the texts, Magnus began to send him after he hadn't heard from Alec for a day. They hadn't talked about where actually Alec was living, so there was no chance for him to find out if Alec was alright. Magnus didn't even know Alec's surname. He kept an eye open when he was at his club, hoping for Alec's sister to show up at some point, but sadly, that also didn't happen.

It was on the evening of the fifth day, at ten, when his friend, Catarina, called him. Grateful about the distraction, Magnus quickly picked up his phone and cheerfully answered the call.

"Hey Cat, finally back at home from your vacation? How are you and Madzie doing? You have to tell me everything about Italy."

"Spare your questions for a while longer, it's time for that later, Magnus. I have an important question for you, do you have a minute?" Her voice was urgent, making Magnus worry immediately. Usually, Cat wouldn't talk to him like that.

"Oh yes, of course, darling. What's the matter?"

"You know, I'm back at work tonight, and we have a patient here who just woke up today from a coma, he's been lying in for a few days now. He is calling out your name. And I honestly don't know any person in the world beside you, who has this name. That makes me ask my question: Do you, by any chance, know an Alexander Lightwood?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry v_v


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Alec be alright?

"Do you, by any chance, know an Alexander Lightwood?"  
Magnus was in shock.   
He really was.   
Was it his Alec that had been in a coma for the last days, without Magnus knowing anything?  
"Magnus? Can you hear me?"  
Cat's voice, full of worry, reached his ears, and Magnus forced himself to clear his throat. To take a deep breath. To calm down. Nevertheless, his voice was hoarse when he answered.  
"Catarina...has he...has he almost black hair and hazel brown eyes? Because please, don't judge me, but I really don't know his surname."  
"Oh, Magnus. As if I would ever judge you, we know each other far too long for that nonsense. Yes, yes, he looks just like this. He's asking for you, would you mind and come over? He's so upset, and his siblings actually don't get him to calm down. I don't want a doctor to sedate him, now that he woke up. The cops are also waiting for him to be able to talk to them and answer questions," Catarina told him, but Magnus already had left his apartment and made his way to his car.   
He wasn't really paying attention to what Cat was saying. He just was too worried about Alec to waste any thought on listening to what Cat told him.  
"I'll be there in a few Catarina," he replied absentmindedly as he sat down on the driver's seat in front of his steering wheel. He threw his cellphone on the passenger seat and started his car to make his way to the hospital, Catarina was working at.

* * *

* * *

Catarina felt relieved to be able to help her patient by finding the man he was asking for. Knowing she could actually do something to make the poor man feel better, left Catarina grateful. She loved doing her job with every fiber of her heart. And that included doing a little bit more than actually necessary. Putting her phone back into her tunic, she made her way to the room, Alexander Lightwood was lying at. She silently opened the door and was greeted by two pale and worried faces, the siblings of her patient.  
"I found him, Magnus Bane. He's a very close friend of mine and will be there in a few," she told them with an empathetic smile.  
"Oh, my God. Thank you, thank you so much," the woman answered relieved, smiling gratefully at Catarina, who returned her smile.  
"How is he doing? Still upset?" Catarina asked. No one knew what actually had happened to Mr. Lightwood. It was only known that he'd been hit by a car in front of his home. That had been five days ago.  
He suffered a spleen rupture and a few broken ribs, also a traumatic brain injury. Bruises covered his body, but mostly his face. Causing by the bruises he had, there was more behind the accident in everyone's opinion.   
The doctors had decided to put him into a medically induced coma until the compression of his brain was getting less intense. Which had been the case today. And he'd just woken up a few hours ago, asking for a Magnus.  
"He's still upset but exhausted enough to sleep a little," the blonde man explained, looking sadly at the direction of his bigger brother. "I really hope he can tell us what happened, no one is so upset after a simple accident," he added, observing his brother who was obviously asleep at the moment.  
"I'm sure you will find out, just give him some time to catch up with the things that happened to him," Catarina told him empathetically. She could understand how the siblings felt towards their brother, but Mr. Lightwood would need the time to recover. And perhaps, Magnus was able to help him, who knew?  
"If anything's wrong, just call me, okay? But I'll be back when Magnus shows up. He won't take long."  
She left the room and headed back to the nurse's lounge, where she patiently waited for Magnus. It was a quiet night to her luck, and she poured herself some coffee while she waited for her friend to show up.

* * *

* * *

Magnus arrived at the hospital twenty minutes after his call with Catarina. He found her after five more minutes, gladly where he was hoping to find her.  
"Cat!"   
"Here you are," Cat exclaimed as she looked up from her lecture, smiling cheerfully at him. She pulled him in for a tight hug. "It's good to see you," she added, pulling out of the embrace to look at him.  
"It's excellent to see you, too, Cat. Like always. And I really missed you and Madzie a lot. But, I'm sorry, where is Alexander?" Magnus asked, worried to the bones about his dearest Alexander. "I really need to see him," he explained anxiously.  
"He's asleep right now. He has a few serious injuries, but he'll get better, I promise. Though he will need a lot of rest for the next weeks. I'll get you to him, come on," Catarina said, smiling encouragingly at him, making Magnus feel better, at least a little bit. "His siblings are with him, do you know them?"  
"I met his sister a few days ago," Magnus explained as they walked together to Alec's room, stopping in front of his door.  
"They're worried as well. Alexander has panicked a few times since he's awake, asking for you. I hope you'll get through him. The cops are waiting for him to answer some questions. We think there was more than running into a car," Cat told Magnus silently. She wasn't allowed to report to him any of that, but if her patient was asking for Magnus, maybe he was able to calm him down enough.  
"His father...," Magnus eventually said, more to himself, but he knew Catarina had heard it anyway.  
"You think his father has something to do with it?" She asked him, and Magnus nodded slowly.  
"I think so, Alec told me some things about his father. Personals that are not quite...lovely. But let's see if I can get anything out of him. However, I really need to see him with my own eyes, Catarina," Magnus begged. Knowing that Alec was right behind the next door made Magnus craving to see him in person.  
"Okay...I see, we really need to have a talk, Magnus Bane. I require an update of your life," Catarina squeezed his arm for a moment before she opened the door to Alec's room.  
"Hello guys, look who's here," she cheerfully said despite the tense atmosphere. But Magnus didn't hear anything more, for he was greeted with a fierce hug from Isabelle Lightwood, who was, against her usual manner dressed in a t-shirt and simple sweatpants.  
"Thank the Angels you came! Alec is asking for you the whole time. He's so upset," she told him in a hoarse voice. Pulling away from her a little, Magnus watched Isabelle with a sad smile. Worry was written all over her beautiful face. "Is it okay that we contacted you? I know you two don't know each other for long."  
"Of course, it is, Isabelle. I was worried as well. Alec wanted to call me a few days ago. I tried to call him myself a few times," he explained, holding back the fact that Alec, indeed, wanted to come back to him, after he'd talked to Lydia. So, of course, Magnus was more than glad that the siblings had reached out to him through Catarina. "I'm glad that I'm here now," he added encouragingly.  
"Thank you, Magnus. Really. We're very grateful. His cellphone didn't work anymore after the accident, but I'm glad you have your friend working here. Oh, this is Jace, by the way," she told him, mentioning to the blonde guy, silently standing behind her. "He's our adoptive brother."  
"Nice to meet you, Jace," Magnus smiled at the blonde guy, shaking his hand as he greeted him. "I'm Magnus," he added.  
"Great to meet you, man," Jace said, exhaustingly smiling at Magnus for a short moment. "And thank you. Can't say it often enough, I guess," he added, taking a soft look at Alec for a second. Magnus could feel the love the siblings had for their bigger brother, also the concern, of course. He totally felt with them at that moment. Alec was such a great human being, he clearly didn't deserve whatever happened to him. And if it were to Magnus, he would do anything possible to help his Alexander. The man, Magnus so quickly was growing fond of.  
"No thanks needed. I'm glad I can help," Magnus answered to both of the siblings.   
"Okay, guys. I know you want to stay here, but it'll be too much for your brother when he wakes up. So, Isabelle, Jace. You two need some rest. Go home, I'll call you if anything's wrong with your brother," Catarina said then.  
"If you're okay with staying, Magnus?" She added. And Magnus knew she just asked that for the Lightwood siblings. Catarina knew him well enough to read his expressions flawlessly. And it was clear that Magnus would stay at Alec's side until the other man would throw him out of his room.  
"Of course, I am. Go, get some rest, Isabelle, Jace. I'll take care of your brother until you're back," Magnus assured them.  
It took Magnus and Catarina a while to convince Isabelle and Jace to go home and get some rest. But when they were gone, Magnus was finally able to take a look at his Alexander. And the sight did nothing to stop Magnus from worrying.  
Alec's whole face was full of bruises.   
His left eye had been swollen, it was visible, the color of the skin around it already turning from black to a lighter blue and green.   
His bottom lip had burst, one wrong move, and it would start bleeding again. Most of his upper head was coated by a bandage. A few black hairs were to be seen.   
He looked so fragile, lying there.   
Magnus' heart painfully clenched at Alec's sight. Thinking about what he'd gone through in the past week, there was no wonder to Magnus that Alec had panicked earlier. Everything had been too much lately for this handsome man, and Alec clearly didn't deserve that.  
Magnus silently sat down beside him and carefully took Alec's hand in his, squeezing it tenderly.  
"Oh my poor Alexander," he whispered. "If I just had known what was about to happen, I wouldn't have let you go."  
"Magnus?"  
It was nothing more but a whisper, but Magnus heard it anyway. He was on his feet before he even realized it, standing so that Alec could see him.   
"I'm here, Alexander," Magnus whispered, squeezing Alec's hand once more, smiling gently at him. He felt Alec's hand trembling under his. "It's okay, you're going to be fine," he murmured encouragingly.   
Alec nodded a little, holding Magnus' gaze as if to calm himself down by just looking at him. Tears stung in his beautiful, yet bruised eyes as he fully woke up.  
"Do you need anything, darling?"  
Alec shook his head, watching Magnus with the same sad hazel eyes, Magnus had seen not longer than a week ago. He squeezed Alec's hand tenderly, caressing it with his thumb afterward.  
"You can tell me if you need anything, you know that, right? You can tell me anything. Nothing has changed that, Alexander," Magnus silently told him, smiling sadly at the man in front of him.  
More tears stung in Alec's eyes when he nodded a moment later. He obviously was fighting with his emotions.  
"It's okay, darling.," Magnus assured him once more, squeezing Alec's hand tenderly once more, seeing him nodding in response.  
"Some...water?" Alec asked after one more moment, his voice hoarse and full of emotions.   
"Of course, Alexander," Magnus smiled gently at him, grabbed a glass from Alec's nightstand, and helped him to take a few slow sips from the water.  
"Thank you," Alec murmured after, averting his eyes from Magnus'.   
"Not for that," Magnus answered silently, carefully lifting his hand to caress Alec's cheek lovingly. Alec closed his eyes at the touch, a lone tear streaming down his face.   
"Are you in pain, Alec?"   
"I'm good," Alec answered, still not looking Magnus in the eyes.  
"Yes, you're absolutely fine, I can see that." Sarcasm was the only way, Magnus actually wanted to respond to this nonsense. It was evident that Alec wasn't doing good.   
He was far from it. "Don't do that, Alexander. Don't shut me out. I think we are past this," Magnus told him firmly, but also very gently. He could guess where it was coming from, but Magnus needed Alec to talk to him.   
"I don't...I can't...Magnus," Alec whimpered as more tears streamed down his face. "I...I," he tried to start again, just to stop once more, as a small, painful sob escaped his hurt lips.  
"Oh, my dear Alexander, it's alright. Let it all out. Take your time," Magnus tenderly kept caressing Alec's cheek, through the remains of his hair to show him that he wasn't alone. He would have loved to pull Alec into his arms, to hold him close, but didn't know how far Alec was allowed to move. So Magnus kept giving him comfort in any way possible. "You're safe now, I won't let anyone harm you, now that I've got you back," he murmured while comforting him.  
It took Alec quite a while until he'd eventually calmed down enough. Until his tears stopped falling, and his breathing slowed down.  
"I'm sorry," Alec hoarsely managed to say after a few more minutes. "It was just...," he murmured, but stopped, obviously at a loss of words.  
"A little bit too much, lately?" Magnus suggested, making Alec nod a little. Shame was written all over his face when his eyes finally found Magnus' again.   
"No need to apologize, darling. You've had a rough time lately," Magnus assured him, smiling gently at Alec. Caressing his cheek once more to wipe away some remaining moisture, Magnus kept holding Alec's gaze.  
"But I am, I...I'm such a mess...hoping you'd come to me, after...," he traded off again.  
"And here I am. On my own will. And I'm too glad that you wanted me at your side, Alexander. I know you have a hard time understanding it, but I do like you. And I want to be there for you if you need me. If you let me. There's no coercion behind that. If I didn't want to be here, well, then I wouldn't," Magnus patiently explained. He knew something had happened before the accident. Alec had come too far before he'd left his apartment.  
Alec watched him silently for a moment, new tears forming in his eyes as he did so.  
"You really mean that?"   
"Of course, I do. Alexander, I told you before, you can trust me. I will never lie to you." Magnus smiled gently at Alec, once more, tenderly squeezing his hand. "I understand your hesitation. It's been a lot lately, and I guess you're totally overwhelmed. I would be if I were in your position. But whatever it is between us, it hasn't changed, darling."  
Fresh tears streamed down Alec's face as he listened to Magnus' words.  
"I really don't deserve you, Magnus," he croaked, this time squeezing Magnus' hand while talking. "We don't know each other for long, and I already need you so much," he hoarsely said, his cheeks turning in the most adorable red, Magnus had ever seen.   
"It's okay, Alexander. I guess the feeling is mutual, then. I really missed you, you know? And I was worried to the bones when you didn't call me or replied to my text's," Magnus explained, earning a weak smile from Alec. It didn't reach his eyes yet, but he relaxed a little against the pillows.  
"I'm sorry for that," Alec murmured, once more, squeezing Magnus' hand all so soft. "I really wanted to come back ho....to you." Alec's cheeks turned a little redder at these words.   
Magnus couldn't help but smile fondly at his Alexander. He knew what Alec had wanted to say. Home. He'd wanted to come back home. Magnus' heart clenched at this thought, and he couldn't help but like the idea of living together with Alec. But he also knew that it was a little early to think about it. Alec had to figure many things out first, and Magnus had always been told that he was too fast forward. Too needy, too clingy, too much in any way. He would patiently give Alec all the time he'd need while trying his best to not make any mistakes.  
"You're still welcome, always," Magnus answered, relieved that Alec had calmed down even a little bit.  
"I'd like that," Alec answered shyly, smiling a slight smile at Magnus.   
"I'd like that, too, Alexander," Magnus replied honestly. "But to my original question, how's your pain?"  
"It's okay, I guess. I mean, the ribs hurt, but I know it takes time for them to heal...so," Alec shrugged a little, obviously used to pain like that.   
"Okay, but tell me if it's getting worse, so we can call Catarina, okay?" Magnus almost begged him. The knowledge that Alec was used to pain hurt him more than he wanted to admit.  
"Deal."  
Alec, once more, smiled shyly at Magnus, before he looked at their entwined hands.  
"Do you need anything else?"  
"I, uhm. I don't know if it's possible...I mean...you don't have to, but, uhm, could you lay down for a moment...uhm, beside me?" Alec asked, still facing their entwined hands. He, once more, blushed adorably in front of Magnus' eyes. Magnus would never get enough of that sight, that was for sure.  
"Of course, I can. But tell me, if I hurt you in any way, Alexander." He made sure that Alec promised to tell him if anything hurt and then carefully laid down beside Alec. Magnus, quite naturally put one arm around him, while Alec, very slowly and as carefully as possible, shifted a little to make himself comfortable in Magnus' arms. Magnus heard a sigh and felt Alec melting into the side of his body.  
"Thank you, I needed that," Alec whispered after a moment, obviously genuinely grateful.  
"I'm proud of you, you know? Asking for what you need."  
"It's not easy, I always feel like getting rejected. Don't know why I'm able to ask for it now," Alec murmured, making Magnus smile a little. Magnus was sure it was because of the medication Alec had been given over the last days. He would enjoy it, that was for sure.  
"Oh, how could I ever reject such a handsome, good-looking man like you?!" Magnus asked. "I really enjoy holding you in my arms, spending time with you as well," he added, as he tenderly caressed Alec's upper arm.  
"Thank you. I enjoy it, too. Very much so," Alec answered shyly, bending his head a little to hide against Magnus' chest.  
Adorable.   
Just simply adorable, Magnus thought to himself as he watched Alec's reactions.  
"That's good to know, Alexander. I'm glad you do," Magnus murmured silently. Having Alec back in his arms took off so much tension from his body. Knowing that he would be okay physically.  
"Thank you for coming for me," Alec whispered, obviously already half asleep at Magnus' side.  
"Anytime Alec, anytime," Magnus murmured back, pressing a tender kiss on the other man's hair. Feeling Alec drift back off to sleep, made Magnus feel his own tiredness as well. He decided to not fight it and closed his eyes. It was a very uncomfortable position, lying in this small hospital bed and holding Alec in his arms. His whole body would be one big ache in the morning, Magnus knew it. But somehow, Magnus drifted off to sleep not far behind Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really good at describing medial injuries, but I hope you did understand it anyway! If not, I'm always up for constructive criticism ♥  
Anyways, tell me if you like it ♥


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec tells Magnus what happened to him

Alec awoke a few hours later, feeling the pain rising in his chest, making it hard for him to breathe. Knowing it wouldn't get any better, he moved slowly, trying not to wake Magnus, and pushed a button to call a nurse.

It didn't take long until a dark-skinned woman came in, smiling gently at Alec. 

"Hi, I'm Catarina. What can I do for you?" She asked silently the moment she realized that Magnus was holding him in his arms, still fast asleep. Alec recognized the soft look she gave Magnus for a moment.

"I'm Alec," he answered, despite his pain shyly smiling at the nurse in front of him, who obviously was Magnus' best friend. "The pain in my chest is getting worse than before," Alec answered as silently as Catarina had asked him before. He didn't want to wake Magnus either. "It hurts when I breathe," Alec added, a little bit ashamed. He wasn't good at asking for help, even if he knew he had to. Alec always had been on his own, had been the one who helped, never the one who asked for it.

But he'd promised it to Magnus.

"Okay, that's totally normal, you don't have to worry about that too much. You have a few broken ribs, it'll hurt quite a while. But if you take it slow, you'll be fine. I'll go, get you a pain killer, Alec. Be right back," Catarina gently told him and left his room, only to come back a few moments later. She gave him a pill and a glass of water to swallow down the pain killer.

"How do you feel besides the pain?" Catarina empathetically asked him then. She must have heard about his earlier panic attacks, Alec realized ashamedly. Maybe she was one of the people who'd tried to calm him down, he couldn't really remember their faces to be honest.

"I'm better now, I guess," he answered, feeling himself blushing slightly. Alec just felt better because Magnus had been able to get through him. Because he stayed and was still with him, holding him. It was embarrassing, but Alec needed his comfort so much. He couldn't help himself.

"I'm glad to hear that, Alec." Catarina once more smiled at him, taking a short look at Magnus. "I haven't seen Magnus doing this in a while for anyone besides his closest friends and my daughter. He really is a good man, and I'm glad that he was able to help you."

Alec's heart beat a little faster at Catarina's words. Magnus had told him before, that he wouldn't help everyone like he'd helped Alec. And Catarina had just confirmed his words. Not that it was needed, he trusted Magnus. But if it was possible, Alec felt more grateful for the man who was holding him.

"Me too. I mean, uhm, thank you for calling Magnus. I, uhm, guess it was you who did that?"

"Yes, that was me. You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."

"You did," Alec answered honestly. "I...I don't know how...uhm, I don't get out of it easily. But Magnus, uhm, he helped me before, and...," he tried to explain, but traded off, not knowing how to explain it adequately. But Catarina somehow seemed to understand what he meant and smiled empathetically at him.

"We all need that one person we can lean on from time to time," she answered.

"True, true," Magnus' voice appeared. Alec felt him stretching his body carefully beside his own before he all so tenderly squeezed Alec's arm. Alec couldn't help but relax into the touch, feeling secure in Magnus' arms. 

"So, I see, you two are chatting in the middle of the night, not caring to wake me. You know how much I like pajama parties, Cat!" Magnus pouted at his best friend. Alec had to force himself not to chuckle as he watched Magnus face from his point of view. 

"Oh come on, Magnus, you know how much I don't like them. So stop making faces, because you know you wouldn't miss a pajama party when you're around me," Cat argued, yet with a big smile on her face as she faced her friend. "By the way, Madzie would love to have one with you," she added, winking at Magnus. 

"Well then, I have to have her overnight soon, because I definitely need a pajama party in the nearest future," Magnus answered, smilingly. "Madzie is my godchild," he explained to Alec, who nodded in understanding.

"Let's make a date then," Catarina said, obviously delighted about Magnus' reaction. "She'll be too happy," she added, turning to leave the room but stopped at the door, turning around to look at Alec.

"Before I forget, Alec. Cops are waiting for you to answer some questions. Do you think you're ready for them? We're told to call them as soon as you're awake."

Alec looked at Catarina, his heart suddenly beating faster as he felt a too familiar panic rising in his gut. "I...I," he stuttered when he felt Magnus squeezing his arm once more, grounding him.

"You can be honest with her. If you're not ready. she'll buy you some more time."

"Like Magnus told you, you can honestly say what you think. There's no judgment waiting for you. But you don't have to say something, Alec. I'll tell the cops to wait until the morning, it's better for you. Get some more rest."

Alec only managed to nod gratefully before Catarina left the room, leaving Magnus and him alone again.

"You have to breathe, Alexander." Magnus started caressing his upper arm up and down. "Take it easy, you're okay. You're safe here."

That was when Alec realized that he, indeed, was holding his breath. He started mimicking Magnus' breath in the afford to calm down. It took him a while until his breathing steadied.

"I'm...," He started, just to get cut off from Magnus.

"Sorry? You don't have to be, Alec. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"Yes...yes, thank you. I guess I have to get used to your kindness fast. I'm sorry if I apologize too much," Alec murmured. It was hard for him to accept that Magnus was so selflessly. 

"It's fine. Take all the time, you need to get used to it. I will remind you if needed. I promise. But don't force yourself into anything."

Alec, gratefully, nodded.

"Thank you, Magnus. I can't tell you how much that means to me," Alec murmured. "You're so nice and understanding."

"You're welcome, darling. Really. I'm gladly at your side, to help you. By the way. Do you want to talk about what happened? Maybe it helps," he suggested, giving Alec time to consider his offer. 

Now that his pain was getting less intense, it was easier to think.

"I guess...yeah, I can do this...I, might, uhm, need a while," Alec started, feeling Magnus cradling him a little bit. Alec melted into the comfort of Magnus beside him and enjoyed it for a moment.

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere."

Alec weakly smiled at Magnus' statement, so badly wanting to believe in his words. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard, and slowly started to tell his story.

* * *

* * *

_ Alec headed to Lydia's home after he'd left Magnus' apartment. He texted her, asking her if he was allowed to come over, a question she immediately agreed to. _

_ Lydia lived nearby his family, so Alec easily spent the way thinking about what to tell her when he would arrive, for he knew the way blindly. He was a nervous wreck when he, after thirty minutes, rang the doorbell. Gladly, Alec managed to stay focused, forcing the panic to stand down. _

_ Thinking about Magnus helped Alec a lot. _

_ The way Magnus encouragingly smiled at him, or so easily calmed him down. _

_ He could make it, he could talk to Lydia, and hopefully, she would at least try to understand him. He just had to remind himself that he could be strong. Alec now had the chance to prove it. And he really needed that. It felt essential for him to take that step. _

_ Eventually, the front door opened, revealing a smiling Lydia to him. Alec, nervously smiled back at her as she let him in and guided him to her room. _

_ "I'm glad you reached out to me, Alec. I was a little worried when you didn't text or call me back," Lydia honestly told him, sensing something was off with Alec. "I thought I did something wrong," she added. Alec sensed the nervousness in her whole attitude and knew he was doing the right thing. _

_ "Actually, we have to talk," Alec started as they'd sat down on Lydia's bed. "I...uhm, I made a big mistake, Lydia," he added, looking ashamedly at the blonde woman beside him for the blink of an eye. "And nothing of that is your fault," Alec told her, honestly. "Angel, how awful," he added, as he risked another look at Lydia. Hurt and confusion were written all over her face. "I, uhm, I know that sounds pathetic, but just, just let me try to explain." _

_ Lydia didn't say a word. She just kept watching Alec, her face pale and full of unspoken questions. And so Alec tried to explain what he so desperately wanted to tell her. _

_ "I proposed to you, knowing that I never could, uhm never would be able to make you properly happy. You don't deserve that." _

_ Lydia stared at him, speechless. "What?" She asked him, her voice nothing more but a whisper. She obviously didn't understand what Alec was trying to tell her. "What's going on, Alec?" _

_ "I'm gay." _

_ Alec held his breath for a second, not believing that he'd been brave enough. _

_ He did it. _

_ For the second time in a few days. _

_ Still, Alec's heart was pounding, making him feel like it would jump out of his chest any second. Cold shivers were running down his spine as he forced himself to take a deep breath. He actually did it, he'd stood up for himself. "I'm gay, and I know I can't burden you with a fake-life. We're too young for that, I would never want that for you, nor for me. I can understand if you're mad at me for giving you so many hopes. But I just can't do this. Neither to you nor to me," he said, rambling his words down, hoping Lydia would understand him anyway. _

_ A long moment of silence followed his words. So long, Alec worriedly looked at Lydia one more time through his eyelashes, not daring to bend his head more than necessary. _

_ She was watching him. _

_ Gently. _

_ Smiling softly at him. _

_ Huh? _

_ Alec's brows shot up in surprise at that sight. _

_ He didn't understand what was going on until Lydia carefully placed her small hand over his much bigger palm. _

_ "I always knew there was something about you. I'm glad you told me, Alec." _

_ "Really? You're not mad?" _

_ "No, I'll be fine. I'm glad you told me before we get stuck into a fake-marriage, neither of us would be happy in. I know our dads want us to marry, but I'm fine. We both deserve to find the one person, don't you think so?" She asked him, squeezing Alec's hand softly, before removing her hand again. "We both deserve to be happy, that's what's important. So, thank you for telling me the truth." _

_ "Yes...thank you, for, uhm, your understanding, Lydia," Alec answered, more grateful than ever before. _

_ He'd never imagined that Lydia's reaction would be like this. But honestly, he only knew his father's response to his outing. _

_ And Magnus'. _

_ Not everybody felt disgusted about his sexuality. _

_ It was totally new to him. _

_ Totally appreciated. _

_ But also, super overwhelming in a way, Alec hadn't felt before. _

_ "Hey, it's okay. We're friends after all, aren't we?" Lydia smiled at him, making Alec show a slight smile too. _

_ "I was hoping we're still friends after that, but I honestly haven't had my hopes high. I proposed to you, after all, knowing that I would never be able to do this." _

_ "I guess you had a reason." _

_ Alec went quiet for a moment before he nodded. _

_ Lydia was right. _

_ He had a reason, but couldn't talk about it to her. Maybe one day, when Alec had let it all behind him. When he maybe was over it. _

_ "You don't have to tell me. It's fine. Really," Lydia told him when she didn't get a response. _

_ "Thank you. Maybe I can explain it properly somewhere in the future," Alec answered. He felt like he had to tell her more at one point. "I better get going. I have to tell my dad about my decision," Alec then started, as he rose to his feet. _

_ "Gotta do the same now. Good luck, Alec," Lydia hugged him for a brief second before she walked him downstairs. _

_ They said their goodbyes, and Alec made his way to his home. Soon to be his former home, he thought with a slight burst of happiness spreading through his chest. Alec had never realized how badly he wanted to get out of this until now. Hadn't allowed himself to even think so far. _

_ Knowing that his father wouldn't be there for at least an hour and with his mother being on a trip with his youngest brother, Alec made his way upstairs to his bedroom. He opened his wardrobe and threw clothes into his sports bag, as well as all the personal stuff he would need. When he kept looking for another bag - yes, even he would need a second one, Izzy would be amused - he overheard the sound of a pair of feet walking upstairs. Alec also didn't realize that the pair of feet stopped at his threshold. Alec hadn't wasted time to close his door, thinking that no one would be here. _

_ The moment, Alec had found his second sports bag was, when something hard hit him from behind. _

_ Almost passing out, Alec fell into his wardrobe, landing uncomfortably on something he just didn't remember anymore. _

_ "What?" He murmured, when he realized, someone pulled him at his shirt, dragging him out of the wardrobe, onto the ground. _

_ "How dare you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood! How dare you!" _

_ Ice cold realization flushed through his veins when he finally realized his father's voice. _

_ "Father, let me explain," Alec tried to start, earning a painful kick into his stomach. _

_ "I don't want any of your explanations, Alexander! You had one thing to do! One thing! And, like always, you disappointed me! You brought shame over our family, telling the Branwell daughter that you're fucking gay!" _

_ Alec's father was yelling at him by this moment, and Alec was beyond scared. He'd seen his father angry at him. His father had hurt him before, but not like this. _

_ This was different. _

_ Alec had to get out of here. Fast. _

_ "You're a disappointment, abnormal! Everyone will know by tomorrow that my son is fucking gay! I will show you how disillusioned I'm with you! And. Then. You. Will. Apologize!" With every word, Alec earned a hit from his father. Usually, Robert had been mindful of the places he'd hurt him, but not this time. His father indeed was furious as hell. Alec tried to hide his face from him but wasn't successful. His father was too strong in the rage he was in. _

_ It was when his father took a short break, that Alec visualized Magnus' face, giving him the strength to jump out of his shock mode. _

_ With both his hands, he somehow was able to shove his father away, making him fall to the ground. Rolling to his side, Alec managed to get on his feet and grab his bag. Just when he turned around, not really seeing much with his view being blurred, he felt a hand around his ankle, making him fall again. _

_ "You won't get out of here, Alexander! You will do as you're told, you will not bring shame to our family! I'd rather lock you away for the rest of your life!" _

_ Alec kicked his legs until he didn't feel his father's hands on him anymore and crawled out of his room to the stairs, throwing his bag downstairs. But before he was able to get back on his feet, his father was on him once more, kicking him badly into his side. Alec was sure he heard his ribs breaking as he groaned in pain. But he wasn't able to give any reaction because his father threw his fists at him repeatedly. _

_ Alec did everything to get away from his father, to back away, when he suddenly fell. Instinctively, he brought himself into a fetal position, and admittedly that was, why he survived the fall down the stairs of his parents' house. _

_ Groaning and whimpering in pain, Alec somehow was able to get to his feet. He stumbled over his sports bag, almost fell again, but was able to hold him up against a wall. Trying to focus on where to get out, he heard his fathers' steps behind him. _

_ Feeling panic rising in his gut, Alec found the front door, even if his vision was blurry. Everything hurt too much at this moment, especially his head and his ribs. But if Alec knew anything right now than that, he had to get out of this house - fast. So he, on wobbly legs, tried to run to the front door. And, to his luck, he made it just in time. Alec opened the door, took a few steps more before he heard his father right behind him. _

_ "You won't leave, Alexander!" He roared, making Alec whimper in fear. He half-ran, half-swayed, and didn't pay attention to anything than getting away from his father, away from the pain he would cause him. Alec couldn't bear it anymore. _

_ But he knew, his father wouldn't come after him, now that he was on the streets. And Alec just kept running, not knowing in which direction he was heading when he suddenly heard the screeching of tires. A sharp pain exploded at his side. Alec felt himself getting flung through the air. But before he hit the ground again, he already was unconscious. _

* * *

* * *

"And then I woke up here," Alec ended his explanation shakily, feeling exhausted, but also very relieved to be able to share this with Magnus.

"Thank you for telling me, Alexander. And I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of this," Magnus silently told him, holding Alec tenderly in his arms. Alec could hear the overwhelming emotions in Magnus' voice. 

Alec didn't know what to say, so he just nodded, taking in Magnus calming presence. It would be over now, Alec would leave his father behind, start a new life. His father would never get to hurt him anymore. Tears of relief stung in his hazel eyes as he carefully snuggled a little closer to Magnus.

"You were so brave, do you know that?" Magnus asked him after a few moments of silence. His voice was still thick with emotions, and Alec felt Magnus' lips on his forehead for a second.

"I don't know," Alec answered honestly, he couldn't see it yet, was Magnus was telling him, couldn't see his braveness.

"You were. And you are. You talked to Lydia, I know it wasn't easy. You fought for the things you wanted, even if that meant to stand up against your father's will. That, my dear, was very brave, and I'm so proud of you," Magnus told him, just saying the right words like he always did. Alec felt tears stinging in his eyes as he listened to him.

"Thank you, Magnus," he whispered, searching for Magnus' hand, squeezing it tenderly when he found it.

"At your service," Magnus answered, half-joking as he returned the squeeze softly, making Alec smile a little. 

"I'm so glad you're here," he murmured, already feeling himself getting tired again. The pain in his chest was getting less intense with every passing minute, he began to feel more comfortable again. And Magnus warmth was giving the rest to it. Alec felt so secure in Magnus' arms. 

Alec knew he had to talk to the cops in the morning, press charges against his father, and tell his siblings what was going on. But for the rest of the night, he allowed himself to feel safe and protected in Magnus' arms.

"Rest a little more, Alexander, I'll be here and keep you safe," Magnus murmured. And that was the last thing Alec heard before he drifted off to sleep once more, with a slight smile on his face.

* * *

* * *

If anyone's interested in a russian translation of my story, you can find it here: [https:ficbook.net/readfic/8805934](https:ficbook.net/readfic/8805934)

Thank's to DanaLightwoodBane for translating ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think ♥


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so very sorry for the delay! I finally made it and wrote another chapter for you, thank you for your patience, and I hope you like the new chapter ♥

Alec woke up to a gentle voice calling out his name.  
"Alec? Time for your medication."  
He recognized the voice as Catarina's and slowly opened his eyes, just to be greeted with the nurse's smiling face.  
"Sorry for waking you, but it's already morning, and I don't want your pain to increase like last night," she explained, handing Alec his medication and a glass of water. Alec gratefully took the pills and drank the water, feeling the pain getting more intense again. Catarina obviously was just in time.  
"Thank you," he murmured, smiling shyly at Catarina, who returned his smile cheerfully.  
"You're welcome. Though it's my job, so no thanks needed, Alec," Catarina answered, all smiles. Alec could see why Magnus liked her so much. She was such a nice person, Alec couldn't help but immediately like her. And she obviously loved her job.  
"By the way, I really don't want to stress you out so early in the morning, but the cops are still waiting for you to answer their questions. Are you alright to talk to them after breakfast?"  
Alec took his time to think about Catarina's question. He surely wouldn't get out of this interrogation, he knew that.  
Also, Alec really felt better today, talking to Magnus had indeed helped his panic to lessen. He thought back to what had happened to him because of his own father. And then Alec knew what he had to do. That was why he nodded to Catarina's question.  
"I can do that, but I don't want to talk to them alone," he answered honestly. He really wanted Magnus at his side to keep him calm if it was needed. Magnus' presence alone grounded him. Alec didn't know if he could ever make it up to Magnus for all the things he did to help him. But he also knew that Magnus would help him without a second thought.  
"I think they will agree to that, though, of course, I can't speak for them," Cat answered honestly. Alec appreciated that very much, he could handle the truth much better than anything else. "I'll get breakfast ready for the two of you," she added, smiling once more at Alec before she stepped out of his hospital room, leaving it to Alec to get Magnus awake.  
Alec carefully, as not to hurt himself more, shifted a little in Magnus' arms to study his handsome face. He looked so relaxed, even if Alec knew that he would be sore after lying all night in such an uncomfortable position. His eyeliner was smeared all over his face, and his black hair stuck out in every direction possible. Alec smiled a little more at this beautiful sight before he silently cleared his throat.  
"Magnus?"  
"Hm?"  
Alec chuckled silently when Magnus groaned in the afford to wake up. He'd told Alec that he really wasn't a morning person at all.  
"Time to wake up, Catarina will soon be there with our breakfast," Alec spoke as softly as possible, not wanting to overwhelm Magnus with too many words too early in the morning.  
"Mhm," Magnus only murmured in response, stretching his body for a moment, before he groaned once more, this time more painfully.  
"Sorry, I'll move away," Alec murmured, already blaming himself for Magnus' pain. He tried to back away from Magnus' chest when he felt the grip on his upper arm tighten.  
"Stay. I'm fine," Magnus murmured, stretching his body once more, this time more carefully. "Just a little uptight. Need a minute," he mumbled huskily, his voice still thick with sleep.  
"Okay," Alec nodded and placed his head back on Magnus' chest, patiently waiting for the other man to fully wake up. Magnus took his time, yawning and stretching his body before he finally opened his sleepy eyes.  
"Morning," he murmured, his voice still full of sleep, as he spoke. Yet, he smiled gently at Alec, bending his head a little to take a look at him. "How are you, Alexander? Any pain?" He asked, making Alec's heart flutter in happiness. Alec wasn't used to so much concern about him. But it felt good, so good.  
"I'm okay, Catarina just brought some medication before I woke you," Alec explained. He didn't want Magnus to worry too much about him.  
"I'm glad to hear that, darling," Magnus gently told him, squeezing him tenderly once more. "I'm afraid I have to get up, are you okay with that?" He then asked, making Alec smile a little as he nodded. He loved how much Magnus cared about his well-being  
"Of course, it is."  
Alec carefully moved away so Magnus could get up. He watched the other man stretching his undoubtedly painful muscles once more, feeling guilt rising in his chest.  
"I'm sorry I made you sleep like that," Alec said silently as he placed his head back down on his pillow. "I didn't want you to have pain," he admitted.  
"Don't worry about that, Alexander. I did that on my own will, and I thoroughly enjoyed having you back in my arms after I worried about you for so long. Everything's fine. You cant trust me."  
Magnus turned around a little and smiled fondly at Alec, who returned his smile with the same attraction, but also shyness.   
"Okay."  
Magnus nodded and squeezed Alec's hand for a moment after putting his palm over the other man's.  
"I'll go to the bath, refresh myself. Do you need anything?" He asked Alec.  
"I'd like to brush my teeth later," Alec admitted after a moment of overthinking if he actually could voice what he wanted. But he felt filthy and needed to do something against it. And it was better to have Magnus to help him than someone he didn't know, right? Right. So he voiced it, earning a proud smile from Magnus.  
"Of course, Alexander. That we can do," he told him and got up, stepping into the tiny bath of Alec's bathroom.  
Just when he stepped out of it, mere moments later, Catarina came in, bringing their breakfast.  
"Great timing, like always! Thank you, Cat!"  
Magnus hugged his best friend, before he took his cup of coffee, taking a sip of it. "You brought the good one," he exclaimed with eyes full of happiness.  
"Of course! I know how you can get without caffeine," Cat answered playfully, before bringing her attention back to Alec.  
"The cops will be here in about an hour. You're allowed to have one person with you during the interrogation."  
"Okay, thank you," Alec answered, feeling nervous about what was to come. Reminding himself that he could do it, with Magnus at his side, he waited until Catarina left the room again before he nervously cleared his throat. He couldn't stop the fear entering his brain, clouding his mind as he started to speak.  
"Magnus?"  
"Yes, darling?"   
Magnus, sitting on a chair beside his bed, was quite natural preparing Alec's breakfast so that he could reach everything just fine.  
"Can...uhm, can I ask you one more favor?" He asked, already blushing heavily. The fear of rejection always present, Alec immediately took his question back. "No, wait. I guess, uhm, I...shit," he sighed, averting his eyes from Magnus. The other man was patiently watching him, as Alec rambled down his words until he didn't know what to say anymore.  
"So, Alexander. Do you want to ask me if I could stay with you during your interrogation?" Magnus silently asked him after realizing that Alec was stuck.  
"Uhm, yes, but you...," Alec started stuttering, blushing even more if that was possible.  
"Of course I can stay, Alexander. Though I have to go home and change later, to be honest. I'm needed at the club tonight. But other than that, I have time and gladly spend the rest of the day with you," Magnus told him gently, smiling at Alec with so much patience as the other man dared to risk a look at him.  
"I'm sorry, Magnus," Alec whispered, ashamed of his behavior. He couldn't stop it, though. Alec had never experienced so much kindness and understanding from anyone besides his siblings. And just in these moments, when he actually craved something, Alec could hardly wrap his head around the fact that Magnus wouldn't judge him. Wouldn't hurt him.  
"It's fine, Alexander. You're trying, and that's what counts for the moment, alright?" Magnus assured him gently. "You will get there. And in the meantime, I'll help you as much as I can. Just don't stop trying like you did. It will get easier, I promise."  
Alec only managed to nod, fearing that his voice would break if he dared to speak. He couldn't be more grateful for Magnus at his side. Magnus always was able to help him, more so than his siblings had ever been. It was weird but also wasn't.   
"Thank you," he murmured after a moment, his voice thick with unspoken emotions. When the time was right, Alec told himself. Right now, he had to focus on getting better and fix his life.   
"I will do better," he added, though he knew there was no need to say that.  
"You're doing just that, Alexander. You've gone through so much lately, don't force yourself. Take your time," Magnus gently told him, getting up from his place to carefully sit down beside Alec. He took Alec's hand in his. "You're doing great, Alexander. I understand that you're nervous about the interrogation. And I'm glad if I can help you with that. Don't forget that it's okay to struggle from time to time. Especially with what you've gone through, okay?"  
Alec nodded, tearfully listening to Magnus' words. He needed that encouragement.  
"Okay," Alec agreed, squeezing Magnus' hand to assure him that really was. "Thank you."  
"You are very welcome, Alexander."  
They ate their breakfast after that in silence, just enjoying each other's company for the moment. After that, Magnus helped Alec to refresh himself a little, making him feel a lot better. They just sat together, talking about nonsense, when they were interrupted by two cops entering the room. A tall, dark-skinned man and a woman with brown hair stopped in front of Alec's bed.  
"Alec Lightwood? Detective Luke Garroway, with Detective Olivia Wilson. We're detectives from the NYPD. We have some questions, do you feel good enough to answer them?"  
Alec, feeling nervous, nodded shakily. He then felt Magnus's hand on his, remembering him that he could do that. Alec took a deep, calming breath and nodded once more.  
"Yes, yes, I can do that. But I want Magnus here," he answered then, his voice, to his own surprise steady and calm.  
"Of course. The nurse already informed us about that," Luke answered, nodding sympathetically at Alec's words, giving Magnus a short look.  
And then, the interrogation began.   
Alec had to go through the day of his accident once more. The detectives had questions over questions, and Alec managed to answer all of them. He had to take a break from time to time because he really felt uneasy talking to the detectives. It wasn't as easy as it had been with Magnus the previous night. But Alec did his best, ending the interrogation with pressing charges against his father.   
It was a huge step, Alec felt it as he spoke the words.   
But he needed that.   
And the way Magnus squeezed his hand showed Alec, that he did the right thing.  
The detectives soon left the room, telling Alec that he should call them if he'd missed something.  
When the door finally closed, leaving Alec and Magnus alone once more, Alec exhaustedly sighed, leaning more into his pillow.  
"I'm very proud of you, Alexander," Magnus whispered, leaning in to place a tender kiss on his forehead. Alec closed his eyes, enjoying the kiss much more than he could admit just yet.  
"Thank you for giving me the strength to do that, Magnus," Alec opened his eyes, just to be met with Magnus' almost golden and cat-like eyes. The other man was fondly smiling at Alec.  
"I think the strength was already there, it just needed a little push," Magnus answered cheerfully. "I'd say, the credit goes to both of us. Let's say fifty-fifty."  
Alec couldn't help but return Magnus' smile happily.   
"Okay, I can live with that," he answered before trying to hide a yawn.   
"You should rest for a bit. I'm sure your siblings will be here soon. I guess it's better to face them well-rested, what do you think?"  
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Alec agreed. A nurse came in and brought some more medication, that he swallowed gratefully, feeling the pain on his ribs once more increasing.  
"I'll go home while you rest, have a shower and change my clothes before I come back, are you alright with that, darling?"  
"Yes, yes, of course, Magnus," Alec assured him. He'd sleep better with Magnus at his side, but he could understand that Magnus needed fresh clothes and a shower. He would be fine until Magnus would be back.   
Magnus gently smiled at him, he bent a little to carefully pull Alec into his arms. Alec slowly put his arms around Magnus' hip, resting his head gingerly against the other man's chest. Their hug lasted for a while, with neither of them wanting to pull away.  
"I'll be back soon," Magnus whispered. Alec nodded his head a little, slowly pulling out of Magnus' arms.  
"See you then, I guess," Alec answered, smiling shyly at Magnus, who returned his smile.  
"Yes, see you then," he agreed before he slowly stood up. "I won't take long," he added before he finally left Alec's room. Alec looked at the closed door for a moment before he placed his head back on his pillow. Magnus wasn't out of his room for five minutes, and he already missed him like crazy. But gladly, the medication made him sleepy, and Alec just closed his eyes to fall asleep almost immediately.

* * *

* * *

When Alec opened his eyes a while later, he was greeted with two worried faces watching him. He watched them confused until he recognized them as Jace and Izzy's faces.  
Smiling slightly at them, Alec felt the nervousness spreading through his chest once more for this day.  
Today would be the day to tell his siblings the truth about him. And the truth about their father.  
"Hey," he greeted his siblings and carefully sat up to face them properly.  
"Alec," Jace started, stepping a bit closer to hug his adoptive brother carefully. "Dude, we were worried about you," he told him honestly. Alec felt guilty, even if there was no reason for that.  
"I'm sorry that I was a little off," Alec answered truthfully, hugging Jace back the best he could.  
Izzy was next to hug her bigger brother, squeezing him a little too tight, making Alec groan in pain.  
"Hey, take it slow, Izzy," Alec told her, gently smiling at her when she started apologizing over and over. "It's okay."  
"Alec, what happened? Honestly, you scared the shit out of us," Jace asked, pulling a chair to one side of Alec's bed. He sat down and observed his brother. Alec swallowed nervously.  
"And we want the truth, okay? We know something's off with you lately," Izzy added, taking a seat beside Alec on his bed.  
"I know...it's time," Alec agreed nervously, his emotions overwhelming him. "I, uhm, I might need some time. I...I haven't talked about this, you know, like in forever. And, uhm, it's just..." he started rambling, looking everywhere than at his siblings.  
"It's okay, just take your time. We're not going anywhere," Jace told him patiently. Alec gratefully nodded, taking a deep breath.  
"Just...just let me talk, okay? Before you ask questions. I don't know if I can talk about it once more."  
Both of his siblings nodded in agreement.  
"Okay...I, uhm, I guess I have to start at the beginning. And that's quite a lot so..." he started once more, closing his eyes, imagining Magnus' face in front of him. It helped him to begin to talk.  
"I'm gay."  
The words were out before he even had time to think about it twice.   
Cold shivers were running up and down his spine, and Alec didn't dare to look at his siblings. They'd be disgusted just like father had told him all those years.   
Alec knew it.   
But now that the truth was out, he had no other chance than to explain to them the rest of it.  
"I'm gay, and I told our father back when I was a teen. And he...he, uhm, he, I'm sure you agree, and I'm sorry for that. But, uhm, he told me how disgusting I am, uhm, and how disappointed he was in me. How ashamed. He...he also showed me, uhm, with hitting me, for example. I, I didn't dare to fight back...and, uhm, at some point...I started believing his words. I did what he uhm, told me to do. But...but I still couldn't stop it, you know? Hiding what I am. And dad? He somehow always knew...kept reminding me how disgusting I am, uhm, what you would say if you knew. What Max would say...and, uhm, mom. Uhm, and last week? He forced me to propose to Lydia. Hit me the whole week until I agreed."  
Alec stopped for a moment, forcing himself to stay as calm as possible.  
"I proposed, but, uhm, it felt wrong the whole time. More so when Lydia agreed, crying in happiness. I just couldn't stand it. I went out for a drink, I didn't know what to do. Honestly? I thought about just ending it, but, uhm, that's where I met Magnus. If it hadn't been for him, I don't know what I would've done. He took me with him, uhm, and supported me the whole time. I don't know what it is between us, but he makes me feel safe," Alec rambled on. "And I realized that I didn't want the life our father wanted for me, especially not in the way, he made me do it. Uhm yeah, and the day of the accident? I uhm, I decided to go to Lydia and explain everything. She...she took it better than I expected her to and I went home to, uhm, to pack my stuff. I wanted to go back to Magnus. He...he offered me a uhm, a shelter, I guess, to sort my stuff out. To start anew. But dad...he was at home, he already knew that I told Lydia I didn't want to marry her...I guess he was waiting for me. And when I was occupied with my stuff, he grabbed and hit me many times, yelling at me, offending me," Alec told them, still looking everywhere than to his siblings' faces.   
He couldn't bear the disgust in their faces.   
At least Alec thought they would be disgusted because of his sexuality. He knew they would hate him, wouldn't believe him, like his father had always told him. Jace and Izzy loved Robert too much to believe him, that was what Robert had made believe Alec.  
"I don't know how I got the strength to fight back, but I got out of his grip and was able to flee. That was when the car hit me. I, uhm, I was still in panic when I woke up here. I...I didn't know where I was, with my last memory having dad on my tail. I...I thought he'd got me and panicked more. I'm sorry if I scared you," Alec rambled on, grateful that his siblings' didn't interrupt them. "And I'm sorry for telling you. I didn't want to. You both love dad, he's good to you, and I never wanted to destroy that, you must believe me," Alec almost begged. Having his siblings' hating him was the last thing he wanted. They'd always been the reason which kept him going. "But I'm not sorry for being gay, not anymore," he added, feeling the need to say it out loud once more.  
Alec didn't say anything more after that, keeping his eyes, whom he felt tearing up on the wall opposite of him.  
"Alec," Izzy's voice, barely a whisper but apparently full of emotions, made his heart clench. That was the moment, he guessed, he would see his siblings for the last time. What Alec didn't expect was the hug he got from Jace and Izzy simultaneously.   
At first, he tensed at the contact. Not because he didn't crave for an embrace, he just didn't think about the fact that Izzy and Jace could maybe accept him like he was.  
Alec managed to relax into the touch of his siblings, bringing his slightly trembling arms around them as well. Tears, he was fighting to hold back, slid down his cheeks as the emotions overwhelmed him. They sat there for a long while, just holding each other, progressing what had been said.  
"I'm going to kill Robert!" Jace murmured angrily when they pulled apart, and Alec finally found the strength to look at his siblings. Jace's eyes were red-rimmed, as well as Izzy's, who furiously nodded in agreement.   
"He shouldn't have done that to you, Alec! He was wrong! It's disgusting what he did to you. And what he made you do!" Izzy furiously ranted. "How could he?! I mean, there's nothing wrong with being gay! Angel, how couldn't we see it?" She looked at Alec with the saddest eyes Alec had ever seen on his sister's face. "I'm so sorry we weren't there for you, big brother."  
"You should've told us anyway, Alec. We would have found a way to help you! Mom would've helped you!"  
"Since I'm a teen, dad always told me how much you'd hate me for being gay. I simply couldn't, Jace. I wanted, though. But I saw how much you and Izzy adored and looked up to our father. I just...I didn't want to destroy what you had. I could live with it as long as you were happy. But with Magnus' help, I learned that I could rely on you. That people could accept me for what I am."  
Alec never had any positive reaction when telling his sexuality. Since Magnus had come into his life, showing him things could be different.  
"And mom? I don't know about her, she hasn't been home much, lately. I don't think she could've done anything," Alec murmured. He didn't want to blame his mom, but even when she'd been at home, it had always seemed that she wanted to be somewhere else.  
Jace nodded a little, carefully observing his adoptive brother. "Okay...but we're here now. Don't forget that," he said then and smiled when Alec nodded in agreement.  
"I won't, I promise," Alec promised solemnly. "I have to figure many things out, get a job, and everything new. But I will learn and ask for help if needed."  
"That's all we can ask for," Jace said, smiling at Alec, just like Izzy was. Alec still couldn't understand that they simply accepted what he'd told them. That they actually believed him. It was just the opposite of what his father had told him all those years. If Alec would've known better...but he couldn't change things that happened back then. Alec could just start anew and make things better. And he would not stop trying.  
"So...about that Magnus," Izzy started then, teasingly smiling at her bigger brother, when the mood had lifted up a little bit. "What is that between you?"  
"Honestly? I don't know. I mean...uhm," Alec started, blushing heavily. Did he really have that talk with his siblings? "He's been very kind and understanding. Supportive even. I guess I like him a little bit more than friends do," he confessed, surprised at his own bravery. He'd thought it many times since he knew Magnus. But he'd dared to say it out loud. "I...I have to find out," he added, feeling his cheeks burning.  
"I'm happy for you if he is the one," Izzy said, leaning her head a little against Alec's shoulder, carefully this time, to not hurt him. "You deserve some happiness after the last events."  
"Agreed. But I guess I have to get to know Magnus. I mean, we siblings are supposed to protect each other, right?" Jace said, grinning from ear to ear at the face of embarrassment Alec made at these words. "Don't worry, I will be as nice as possible. Just like you've been to Clary," he told his brother, winking a little in amusement.   
Alec groaned, closing his eyes for a moment. He hadn't actually been kind to Clary from the moment Jace presented her as his girlfriend. He had been far from friendly to her, to be honest.   
"Poor Magnus," Izzy said, grinning, knowing that Jace was just making fun.  
"You're horrible, Jace," Alec answered, but couldn't help a smile that appeared on his face.   
"You're welcome!" Jace grinned at him, and Alec couldn't help but chuckle. Right now, he felt like things could actually get better.   
And it was a pretty nice feeling.


	9. Chapter 9

Alec had to stay in the hospital for at least two more days before he was allowed to finally leave it. 

The docs, of course, wanted to make sure that the pressure on his brain wasn't going to increase again. And just that was the case. Everything healed just fine. 

And besides his aching ribs, Alec started to feel better again. The bandage around his head was removed a day after he'd woken up out of the coma. The stitches, the only sign of the surgery he had, would be able to remove in a few days. Catarina had offered to come by and do it, which Alec was more than grateful for. 

The bruises all over his body were slowly fading away, as well as the swelling of his eye. The doctors had him make an eye examination, but everything was just fine. 

His father had carelessly hurt him, indeed. But there was no damage left beside the fact that a part of his spleen was missing. And luckily, the organ was able to regrow the missing piece, so Alec didn't bother much. 

His body would recover, that was what counted. 

Furthermore, Alec was sure the time with Magnus, and the rest of the family that genuinely cared about him would heal his mind too. It would take a while, but Alec refused to give up. 

Not now, when he finally got a glimpse of what his life could be, after all those years.

Alec's father somehow had been able to disappear after what he'd done to him. The police hadn't found him until now. He'd had a lot of time, awhile Alec had been in a coma for five long days. 

And that his father wasn't locked behind bars worried Alec a lot, to be honest. He didn't sleep very well, always fearing that his father would come through the door to end what he'd started.

The Police Department had an officer detached in front of his hospital room. But as soon as he would leave the hospital, they wouldn't be able to do much more than to look out for his father.

Izzy offered Alec to sleep at her's and her boyfriend's home, but Alec refused. Simon wasn't someone, Alec loved to spend his time with. He accepted the glasses-wearing nerd, sure. But he didn't want to hang around with him more than necessary.

Besides, Magnus had offered him to stay at his apartment, and all Alec wanted was to be around him. Magnus had accepted him for who he was from the beginning, and Alec just felt safe with him. Additionally, his father didn't know where Magnus was living, nor that they knew each other.

* * *

* * *

_ "You can stay as long as you want, Alexander," Magnus told him the evening before, and Alec was glad about the offer.  _

_ "You're sure I'm not disturbing you?" Alec asked him, still afraid of being too much of a burden for Magnus.  _

_ "No, darling. I'll gladly have you around again. I missed your company," Magnus, all so gently told him. He took Alec's hand in his to give it a gentle squeeze. "You need someone to take care of you for a while. And, most importantly, you'll need a lot of rest. You can have that at my place. You're not bothering me, it's quite the opposite, okay?" _

_ "Okay. Thank you, Magnus. I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done and are still doing for me," Alec only whispered, his voice full of emotions, gifting Magnus with a slight smile.  _

_ "You don't have to, I already know it, Alexander," Magnus answered, smiling right back at him, making Alec feel warm inside. _

* * *

* * *

Currently, Alec was sitting on the edge of his hospital bed, with his bag already packed beside him.

He patiently was waiting for Magnus to arrive to bring him home. Home. 

At least, Magnus' apartment felt like just this for Alec. It was crazy to think so; he knew it. But Alec couldn't help himself.

He couldn't wait to get out of the hospital, even if he still felt weak. Alec would take his time to heal, that he'd sworn to himself. He wanted to face his new life all well and healthy; that was for sure. 

After a moment, the door to his room opened, and Magnus stepped inside. He had a big smile on his oh so beautiful face, when he found Alec sitting on the bed, already waiting for him. 

Alec couldn't stop himself from goofily smiling back at this sight. 

In the past few days, Magnus and Alec had become closer. If that was even possible. They'd cuddled a lot when Magnus was there for a visit. Which had been most of the time, to be honest. Magnus always wanted to make sure that Alec was alright. That he wouldn't panic, that he felt as safe as possible. 

To make it short: Magnus, without thinking twice and all so selflessly did just what Alec was craving for. 

And with Magnus at his side, Alec felt secure and cared-about. 

Alec still wasn't sure what he did to deserve any of this. But he found himself enjoying it way too much.

Alec found his heart flutter in fondness every time Magnus came into view. He honestly had never felt something like that before. Surely, Alec had had a crush on a classmate in Highschool. But his father had made sure that it was the first, but also the last time. The physical and mental abuse had been enough for Alec to never give in to those feelings again. Until now. 

However, one thing was for sure: He was helplessly falling in love with Magnus Bane. And it scared the shit out of him. His feelings left Alec terribly confused most of the time. And he didn't really know how to figure this out. He also knew that he could talk to Magnus about it. But how was he supposed to start a conversation like that? He was a grown-up man, for God's Sake.

"Alexander! I hope you didn't have to wait for too long?" Magnus greeted him with a short peck onto Alec's cheek, leaving the other man blushing heavily. Though it was easier to accept it from Magnus, Alec still wasn't used to someone being so affectionate towards him. 

But, the Angels may help him, if it didn't feel great!

"No, uhm. I just wanted to be ready when you arrive, that's all."

Alec had been ready for the last hour, but he wouldn't admit that towards Magnus. He just didn't want Magnus to have to wait for him. He'd already done so much.

"Okay, darling. Are you ready to leave this goddamn hospital?"

"More than that."

Alec slowly rose to his feet and wanted to grab his bag, but Magnus was faster. 

"There's no way you will carry the bag. You're still hurt, Alexander," Magnus gently told him, offering his other arm for Alec, who was fast to link arms with him. Alec still was a little unsteady on his feet and glad about the help, Magnus offered him unquestionably. 

"Is that okay?" Magnus worriedly asked him, earning a little nod from Alec.

"Yes, thank you, Magnus."

Alec didn't know how often he'd thanked Magnus in the last few days, but he was so very grateful for him being in his life. They knew each other for a little more than a week, with Alec being in a coma for five days. But Alec felt so much fondness for Magnus, it was almost unreal.

And Magnus? He acted so affectionately towards Alec that he wondered if maybe, just maybe, Magnus felt the same way. But Alec couldn't bring himself to ask him. 

He didn't know how. 

And, what kept him more from asking: Alec was afraid of the answer. Magnus could laugh at him (deep inside he knew, Magnus wouldn't), or worse, reject him. 

Alec wouldn't be able to handle it. Not from Magnus.

"Hey, are you okay, Alexander?" Magnus' concerned voice brought him out of his thoughts. It was just then that Alec realized that they'd already left the hospital room.

"Yeah. Sorry, I was just...thinking, I guess," Alec shyly answered, cracking a slight smile towards Magnus.

"Care to share your thoughts?" Magnus answered smilingly as they slowly made their way out of the hospital.

"Uhm...I just, uhm. I'm so grateful for everything you're doing just for me," Alec answered, hoping that it would be enough for Magnus for now. He would need some more time to figure out his and Magnus' feelings. 

"I'm glad you let me help you, Alexander. With everything. I feel very honored that you let me so close to you. You're an incredible human being, and I hope you can see that too at some point," Magnus gently told him, making Alec blush once more for today. 

"I hope that too," Alec sheepishly answered, feeling the heat in his cheeks. Magnus smiled gently at him, accepting his answer for what it was.

They made their way to Magnus' car, and soon, they parked in front of his apartment complex. 

Magnus helped Alec out of the car, and together, they made their way up to the flat.

"Isabelle brought all your clothes, your father left and a few personal things. I didn't unpack them, in case you wanted to do it on your own," Magnus told him, pointing to the handful of bags that were lying on the ground.

Alec nodded, unsure of what to answer. He didn't know where his belongings were welcome. 

"We have to talk about a few things before you can settle in. I really want to make sure that you feel at home. Let's sit down?" Magnus asked him, making Alec nod in agreement. 

"Yes, sounds good." He began to feel awkward again. As happy as he'd been to be with Magnus, Alec felt very unsure about everything.

They walked into Magnus' living room and took a seat next to each other. Magnus was fast to take Alec's hand in his, to squeeze it gently. He was grateful for the connection. Magnus grounded him with such a simple thing.

"Alexander. You've gone through a lot in the past week, and I'm sure your mind hasn't caught up with everything yet. That brings up my question. As you might remember, I have a guest room. Do you want to arrange the room and make it yours? I don't need the room anyway."

Alec dumbfoundedly looked at Magnus. His heart sank, and his shoulders slumped a little. 

So it was true. Alec was a burden to Magnus, and he wanted him as far away as possible.

"Darling?" Alec averted his eyes. The feeling of rejection overwhelmed every thought. He didn't know how it felt when people cared about him. Alec also didn't remember that people asked him what he wanted. Beside his siblings, of course. And that left him with the feeling of rejection. "Please talk to me. I don't understand what's going on in that beautiful head of yours," Magnus' soothing voice made Alec shiver. He didn't know what to say, but after a while, Alec found himself speaking.

"I...you should have told me," Alec started, stopping for a moment.

"What should I have told you?" Magnus curiously asked, clearly concerned about him. But Alec didn't realize it at that moment.

"That you don't want me here. I would have found someplace," Alec murmured. He was so insecure in this very moment and so ashamed to believe that Magnus really wanted him to be with him.

"Oh, my poor, sweet Alexander," Magnus sadly whispered, as the realization hit him, squeezing Alec's hand once more before he carefully brought his arms around him and cradled him to his chest. "I want you here with me. I just thought you might need some space. A room to call your own. I didn't want to make you feel that you're not welcome, and I'm so sorry about that."

Alec, who first stiffened at the contact with Magnus, slowly melted into his strong arms. Tears spilled out of his eyes, wettening Magnus' shirt.

"I'm so awkward, Magnus, sorry," he tearfully mumbled after he'd calmed down a little. "I just...uhm...I just want...," he started then, finding himself once more unable to say what he wanted. Shouldn't he get used to it by now?

"You can tell me everything, Alec. Remember? I won't make fun of you, nor take advantage of the things you say to me. You can tell me what you want. I will try to make it possible, I promise," Magnus whispered, planting a tender kiss on Alec's hair, soothing the other man down in an instant. 

Magnus was right. 

He could tell him what he wanted and needed. 

It would be fine.

Magnus had proven it many times before. Alec could trust him.

"I just...I don't want to sleep alone," Alec murmured, feeling his cheeks heating up in shame. By the Angels, how awkward could a human be? "I don't feel safe," he added ashamedly, glad about the fact that Magnus couldn't see his face by now.

"Let's share my bed then," Magnus simply answered, squeezing Alec tenderly as if not to hurt him. "I'll keep you safe, that's a promise."

"You surely don't mind?"

"I would be a fool if I would. Alexander, I love to have you around. I enjoy talking or listening to you. To hold you in my arms. And I gladly have you in my bed," Magnus answered, making Alec blush even deeper and groan in embarrassment. 

He heard Magnus chuckle in amusement. "To sleep, of course. And for the rest...we have enough time to figure everything out, okay? Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," Alec only murmured, his head still buried in the crook of Magnus' neck. He wrapped his own arms around Magnus' waist and took his time to calm down.

"One more thing...don't tell yourself that you're awkward. You've gone through so much. You have to figure out so many things. No one said it's going to be easy. Just don't be too hard on yourself. There's no need to."

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Alec ashamedly murmured. He felt Magnus moving, shoving him away from the safety of his body to look at him.

Alec slowly lifted his eyes to meet Magnus'. He was gently smiling at him, once more showing so much patience toward Alec. 

"Don't be. It's alright. Take the time you need."

"I don't know much at the moment. But I do know that I want to be close to you," Alec sheepishly confessed, once more blushing for today.

"That we can arrange, Alexander. You have me very honored and fortunate that I can assure you."

Alec looked at the man in front of him. Magnus kept looking straight into his eyes, leaving no room for Alec to doubt his words. So, Alec nodded slowly.

"Thank you, thank you so much, Magnus.". 

* * *

* * *

Magnus felt relieved the moment, Alec cracked a still embarrassed smile at him and relaxed into the couch. That was way better than before. It would take Alec a while to recover, to forget his dad's voice and the things he'd told him. And Magnus would do everything possible to help his dearest Alexander.

Alec might've not recognized it by now, but Magnus felt himself falling hard for the younger man. 

He hadn't felt anything like that before. And Magnus had a lot of experience to compare it to the feelings he had for Alec.

He tenderly smiled at Alec and took his hand in his once more. 

"It's not easy for you, darling. But don't doubt  _ anything _ I'm telling you. I will never lie to you, nor make fun of you. I can assure you that I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together."

"It's hard to believe when I actually should be a pain in the ass for you. I mean, I brought nothing but trouble with me."

"It's just another way to get to know each other, Alexander. I don't care if it's a little troublesome at the moment. It will get better at some point. And most importantly, you will feel better. Plus, you know it best, life isn't always easy-peasy."

Alec nodded at his words, his slight smile finally reaching his puffy eyes.

"You're right. It'll get better. It's just so much...I don't know how to cope with everything that happened and is proceeding. You're so nice, so patient with me. And so understanding. I just...I've never had this before...I uhm, I never thought I could have this."

Magnus instantly felt terrible for Alec. He squeezed his hand in the afford to give him some much-needed comfort.

"You know you didn't deserve anything of what your father did to you, right? We can't change who we are, Alexander. Your parents are here to support you, and your father did quite the opposite. He took so much from you. That wasn't his right."

"Yeah...I know that now. I just, uhm...don't know how to say it...I have all these feelings, and they're overwhelming. A lot. It was easier to put them as far away as possible. To not think about it...uhm, and now? I just can't stop. And it's making me crazy."

"I absolutely understand you, darling. Everything is coming at a full seed right up to you. You need to figure things out. But one at a time. If it gets too much, we have to find a way to distract you a little. Is there anything you really like to do? Like something where you could easily clear your head?"

"Uhm..."

Magnus waited for a while, just in case, Alec wanted to tell him something, before he spoke once more.

"To me, for example, it is dancing. I genuinely enjoy it. It's a great workout, and it freshens up my mind easily. So, if things ever get too much, I go and visit a dancing school for a few hours," Magnus explained gently. After what Camille had done to him, he'd been there daily. It had helped him a lot back in these days.

"Archery" was Alec's silent response after another moment. Magnus almost overheard it.

"That's an interesting hobby. How does that come?" Magnus encouragingly smiled at Alec, spurring him to tell him more about it.

"I...I used to do it in Highschool. Before uhm...before, my father found out about my sexuality. I wasn't allowed to go there after he did," Alec sadly explained. "I guess I wasn't that bad at it. And I liked it a lot." A smile lit up his face while he talked about this memory, and Magnus suddenly had an idea.

"You stitches will be removed in a few days, right?"

"Right." 

Alec obviously was confused about the sudden change of the topic. But Magnus already had a plan getting ready in his head. He would talk to Catarina and arrange everything so that Alec would get his hobby back. He would need something like that in the upcoming time, that was for sure. But of course, Alec's body had to heal first. That was the most important thing for now.

"Alright," Magnus only answered, grinning at a confused looking Alec. But he obviously was too tired to question Magnus' behavior. The moment, Alec tried to stifle a yawn made Magnus realize how late it already was and how exhausted his dearest Alexander must be.

"Okay, darling. Time to go to bed. You need a nap." Magnus knew from Catarina that Alec had slept a lot the previous days. And Magnus wanted to make sure that Alec would get the rest he would need.

"I guess you're right," Alec answered.

"Let's go, darling, come on."

Magnus rose to his feet and reached his hands out to help Alec to get up from the couch as well. They grabbed a bottle of water on their way to Magnus' bedroom. He placed the bottle on Alec's side before he brought him a painkiller he would definitely need. Alec swallowed the pill with a few sips of water and carefully laid down on the bed. Magnus couldn't stop himself from tenderly tucking Alec in.

"Want me to stay with you for a while?" Magnus empathetically asked then, earning an insecure nod from Alec.

Magnus didn't hesitate as he walked over to his side of the bed and laid down beside Alec, slipping under his covers before he cradled the other man to his chest.

"I've got you, look? Nothing bad happened. I could never reject anything you're asking for, Alexander."

"Thank you, Magnus. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have you at my side," Alec sleepily murmured as he made himself as comfortable as possible in Magnus' arms.

"Don't forget that I'm here with you because I want it, okay?" Magnus gently stroke circles around Alec's upper arms, feeling him shiver under his touch. He felt Alec carefully placing a hand on his chest beside his head. 

"I won't," Alec silently whispered. "I'm so glad that we met Magnus."

"Just as I am, my dearest Alexander. Just as I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still here with me. Let me know! Also, I'm always up for constructive criticism. Tell me what you think pls :)


	10. Chapter 10

When Alec woke up a few hours later, he felt a lot better, at least in the half-asleep state he currently was in. He felt calm and thoroughly relaxed. Waking up in Magnus' arms always brought that with him, but Alec didn't mind just one bit. He liked it a lot, to be honest. Feeling so much at ease was something Alec never had before. He snuggled even closer to the welcoming warmth of the other man. In the half-asleep state, Alec was in, everything was so much easier. He found himself enjoying Magnus' strong arms around him, holding him in place. It just felt so good, as if Alec would perfectly fit into this space.

Alec nuzzled his nose against Magnus' smooth skin and sighed a little, feeling himself waking up fully. 

And with that, Alec realized the state the rest of his body was in. Or at least a part of it. 

For the first time in ages, Alec appeared to be aroused. 

Cold panic flushed through his veins the moment he felt that his erection was pressed against Magnus' hip. His whole body suddenly tensed in shock. 

But only for a second. 

Moments later, Alec pushed as far away as possible from the warmth of Magnus' body. His ribs protested at the sudden move, but Alec was determined to get out of the bed to take an ice-cold shower. Despite his still aching body, Alec made it into the bathroom in no time. He was shuddering, his cheeks burning in shame.

Alec wasn't allowed to be...disgusting like this.

He heard a confused groan from behind him but didn't turn around before he shut the door with a loud bang.

His father's voice started to harass him, making Alec whimper in fear.

_ You sorry excuse of a man! God, you're sickening! _

_ Look at you getting horny by the thought of another man!  _

_ God, you're embarrassing, I can't even look at you!  _

_ You're such a goddamn freak! _

_ If I ever see you touching yourself, you'll be punished! _

_ I wish Jace was my son by blood instead of you! You're such a shame for the Lightwood family! _

Alec stripped out of his clothes as fast as possible and stepped under the ice-cold steam he'd turned on before. Hissing at the sudden piercing cold, Alec was fast to clean his whole body, his father's voice spinning around in his mind. His hands scrubbed over his skin, not caring about the still healing wounds and bruises. 

Alec barely felt any pain besides his aching heart. His father, once more, had found a way to get into his head.

_ You're a disgusting piece of shit. And if you don't do as I wish in the future, I will personally take care of your punishment. _

Alec wasn't allowed to feel that way. 

But he was! Magnus had told him so, right? 

** _ It's alright to feel that way, Alexander. It's pretty average. _ **

_ You're such a disappointment. _

** _ You're just as unique as I am. There's nothing to be ashamed of. _ **

_ I can't even look at you! _

** _ There's nothing wrong about you. _ **

_ You're an abnormality! A freak! _

His father's and Magnus' voices kept battling inside his head until it was Magnus' empathetic voice from the other side of the door, who made them stop. 

Suddenly, Alec was back in the present, recognizing what he was doing.

"Alexander? Are you alright in there?"

It was now that Alec realized how cold he was. He quickly turned the water off, quivering badly.

"I'm good," he answered, trying his best to hide his chattering teeth. "B.be right back."

Alec stepped out of the shower, wrapping himself into a towel. Realizing now, how much his body hurt, he silently winced in pain.

Alec risked a look in the mirror, suddenly super disgusted by his own behavior. He hadn't been aroused since his father had found out about his sexuality. Alec hadn't dared to even think about it, being too afraid of his father. He'd beat the shit out of him, besides always telling him how much of an abnormality he was. How disgusting.

And Alec had believed him for all those years. 

Feeling the wave of arousal earlier had brought so many bad memories with it. Alec couldn't bare those pictures his head had offered him.

He knew now that he was allowed to feel that way. But hell, he was so afraid of everything. Alec didn't know how to cope with this particular matter. He'd always been told that it wasn't right to feel attracted to another man. And, of course, at some point, Alec had started to believe his father's words.

Very slowly, Alec got dressed again after he'd dried himself off, trying to calm down as much as possible. He then made his way back into the bedroom, by now very ashamed of his behavior. For God's Sake, he was a mess. How was Magnus able to stomach him? He was sure that Magnus would get sick of him sooner or later.

Alec didn't realize that Magnus had been waiting right beside the door, making him almost jump when he recognized him.

"Alexander, what happened? Are you freezing?"

Magnus stepped closer as soon as Alec stopped in his tracks, looking at the other man with wide eyes. His whole body tensed at first, being afraid of what was about to come. But then he recognized Magnus' worried gaze, and Alec calmed down a little.

"I...I...," he started, finding himself once more unable to explain what was happening with him. He found his eyes tearing up at the sight of Magnus' concerned face.

"Oh, Alexander...come here, darling," Magnus only whispered in response, carefully pulling Alec in for a tender embrace. Alec wrung his arms around Magnus, glad about the warmth and comfort he offered.

"You're ice-cold, Alexander," Magnus silently assessed, and began to rub his hands up and down Alec's spine. Alec found himself shivering at this declaration of comfort. But he couldn't bring himself to answer Magnus for now.

"Take your time, darling. Whatever happened, we will figure it out, okay?"

Alec found himself nodding. Magnus tenderly guided Alec back to the bed and made him sit down. He covered Alec's shoulders with a blanket and sat down beside him. Magnus gently wrapped his arm around Alec's shoulder, patiently waiting for him to explain what happened.

"I don't...I can't...," Alec murmured, his gaze glued to the ground. 

"Was it because you were aroused earlier?"

Alec felt his cheeks heating up at this question. Magnus was so straightforward that Alec didn't know how to react.

"I...what? Uhm...."

"You know, I felt it. It's a normal reaction of your body and also a very healthy thing."

"Yeah...but, uhm. I haven't felt that for so long...," Alec fought the words out, stuttering all the way. "I just...I was, or I am so...dunno," Alec helplessly murmured, finding himself out of words.

"Let me help you," Magnus murmured. Alec felt Magnus tenderly caressing his arm up and down. Alec nodded slowly, hoping that Magnus was able to support him.

"The feeling absolutely overwhelmed you, right?"

Alec found himself nodding once more. At least, Magnus was able to find the right words.

"And I guess you started to think about all the things you've been told by your father."

Alec agreed again.

"I'm very sorry about that, my poor Angel." Magnus' voice soothed him down sufficiently. And soon enough, Alec found himself starting to talk.

"I always hear him inside my head. He keeps harassing me. But...in that shower earlier, I also caught your voice, telling me that it is alright to feel what I do...I'm so confused, Magnus," Alec explained helplessly.

"I totally get that, darling. You weren't allowed to feel all these things for so long. Now that you are, everything's getting too intense at once."

"Yes," Alec ashamedly admitted, still not looking at Magnus.

"You don't have to be ashamed, Alexander. You've endured a lot, and you have to learn that you can have what you want. It's totally normal to struggle in that progress."

"I guess you're right...But I'm so unsure about everything. How will I make progress when I'm not even able to face my feelings without my father spoiling them?"

"Because your father's voice will faint, Alexander. We will replace every terrible memory with a good one, that's a promise. You will be able to face your feelings. We will work through that."

"I can't burden you with all those things, Magnus. You're too precious..."

"But so are you, Alexander."

Alec still didn't dare to look up at Magnus. He was saying so many things he wanted to hear for such a long time. It was too good to be true, wasn't it?

"I don't know if I make it better or worse with the following words. But Alexander, I guess you feel something more towards me than friendship. I thought about not talking to you about it until you're ready, but now I think that I need to assure you that the feelings are mutual."

Alec thought he hadn't heard it right. Magnus felt as attracted to him, as Alec felt? 

That couldn't be real. 

Or could it?

Alec found himself gazing up to meet Magnus' eyes. And what he saw there made him instantly believe in the words he said.

Magnus gently smiled at him, cupping his face with his palm, his thumb tenderly caressing his cheekbone.

"We have all the time to figure this out. But, Alexander, whatever happens, I'm here. I'll always listen to you. And if I'm able to, I'll gladly help you. With  _ everything _ that comes up."

"But I'm such a mess, Magnus. How will I ever be able to act normal?"

"Depends on your definition of normal, darling. But I'd say it needs some time to find out. You need to get to know yourself first. And that includes everything. Even the feeling of being aroused. All of that is new to you, and of course, it's scary. But I am at your side, and if needed, I'll guide you."

Alec nodded in understanding. Of course, Magnus was right. He had to be patient. If things only would be that easy.

"Alexander, if something like this happens again, and I'm sure it will soon, please don't run away from it. Face your feelings. You also can always reach out to me, no matter what time it is. I understand that it's scary, but I know that you're strong enough to fight. You might feel like a mess at the moment, but you'll see, the more you fight, the better it'll get."

"I'll try," Alec weakly whispered. Magnus tenderly smiled at Alec, nodding in encouragement. 

"I know you will. And don't forget that I'm on your side."

* * *

* * *

Magnus was sure he'd gone too far with his statement as soon as they were spoken. 

But, to his surprise, Alec gaped up at him with so much hope in his beautiful hazel eyes. Magnus was sure he would never forget this particular moment. Unshed tears shone in Alec's eyes as he watched him in awe. 

"I'm not dreaming, am I?" He whispered, making Magnus smile affectionately at the person in front of him.

"No, no. You're not dreaming, darling."

People had always told Magnus that he was too much for them. Too loud, too noisy, too colorful, to extravagant, too clingy, and, most importantly, too fast-forward. And these were just a few of the things, Magnus had heard in his entire life.

But his dearest Alexander seemed to be craving for anything, Magnus offered him. Alec soaked up every word, every touch. 

It left Magnus speechless, but also very fortunate. 

And hopeful. 

Maybe, the one person, who he always had hoped to find, was sitting right in front of him. Eventually, even Magnus Bane was lucky enough to become his happy ending. 

He was sure that he'd never felt anything like that before. Sure, Alec had a troublesome time. And it would be a hell of a fight for him. There was so much, Alec would have to get to know before they could even think of anything else. But Magnus would stick to his side until he would feel better. And if Alec's feelings would still be the same after that, Magnus would remain grateful for the rest of his life.

Alec sheepishly smiled back at him, his cheeks turning in a dark shade of red as he did so.

"What is it, darling?" Magnus carefully asked, smiling a little wider the moment he saw where Alec's eyes were flashing at. Alec kept silent, an unspoken question in his eyes, the moment they turned back to look at him. But Magnus easily was able to read the man in front of him like an open book. It was refreshing.

"Of course I can kiss you," Magnus only whispered, knowing that Alec wouldn't dare to ask him that question now, though it was apparent that he wanted a kiss. Alec's cheeks, if possible, turned in an even darker red at Magnus' words. His eyes were wide open, his breath came in short, silent gasps. 

Alec was excited, but also afraid at the same time, it was evident. And Magnus wanted to make sure that Alec felt secure. That he enjoyed the kiss as much as Magnus surely would.

"I've got you, darling, just relax. Nothing bad is happening, okay?"

Alec frantically nodded, trying to soothe his breathing as he took deep inhales.

"That's good, Alexander. You're doing so well," Magnus cooed, smiling encouragingly at Alec, who, after a minute, was able to return his smile.

Magnus carefully watched him for another moment, trying to put all his affection into his gaze. He leisurely caressed Alec's cheekbone with his thumb, before he slowly leaned in, bringing his other hand to Alec's other cheek as well. 

The first meeting of their lips was as gentle as the touch of a feather. Magnus slowly and tenderly pressed his lips on Alec's soft ones, relishing the fact that they were actually kissing. Yet, he kept looking out for Alec's reaction to being able to back away if needed.

Alec didn't respond at first. It took him a moment to realize that this really was happening. 

But the moment he sheepishly started to kiss him back, Magnus was a lost soul. He'd never experienced anything like that before. 

Shivers were running up and down Magnus' spine. He even found himself closing his eyes while he just enjoyed this special moment between them. He'd never had something like this. Never.

And that was just a simple kiss. They'd just brought their lips together, and Magnus felt like this? 

Only thinking about more made Magnus' heart flutter in excitement. But that had to wait. 

"You're a God-given talent, do you know that, Alexander?" Magnus whispered tenderly, as soon as they broke apart in the desperate need of air after a moment.

If Alec's cheek wouldn't have already been colored in a deep crimson, Magnus was sure he would've blushed heavily at those words.

"I don't...this was my first kiss," Alec murmured deeply ashamed. Magnus cracked a slight smile at these words. He'd thought so, but hearing it from Alec in person made him feel very sorry for the other man.

"Well, I hope it was worth it," he answered, starting to caress Alec's cheekbones once more.

"Yes...yes. You...the kiss...it was quite...magical," Alec slowly answered, this time making Magnus smile tenderly at his words.

"That it was, darling. I felt the same way."

Alec kept watching him, his face lightening up at Magnus' words. God, wasn't he the purest soul Magnus had ever met?

"So...that means we can do that again?" Alec, all so sheepishly asked, fighting hard to not avert his eyes. Magnus was very proud of him at that very moment.

"I would love to darling," Magnus cheerfully answered, gifting Alec with a tender peck on his lips. "Though we have to be careful until your lips are fully healed." He gingerly stroke over the small wound at Alec's mouth that still needed time to recover. Alec smiled at Magnus, agreeing with his words.

Magnus brought Alec back into his arms, placing a gentle kiss on the top of the other man's head, earning a relaxed sigh in response as Alec melted into his arms.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Alec murmured after a moment, clearly ashamed about his behavior, but Magnus gently cut him off.

"Don't apologize, darling. You did nothing wrong. It's not easy to get those voices out of your head, but I'm sure you will manage somehow. No, wait. We will manage."

"You're always so understanding, Magnus. Thank you for that."

"Everyone needs someone to lean on from time to time, Alexander. I'm gladly here with you."

"I get that. And I'm very grateful for that. I really am. Without you, I guess I would completely freak out. But I guess things will get easier knowing my dad is locked behind bars," Alec sheepishly admitted, making Magnus' assumption real. Alec still feared for his father to come and hurt him again.

"Thank you for that, Alexander. I'm glad to know that I'm able to help you. About your father: They will find him. It's just a matter of time. No one besides the police and your siblings knows where you are until then. You're safe here."

"I know. But I still wake up, deeply scared. I just want my father to be imprisoned."

Magnus could understand Alec all too well. He also was hoping the police would find Alec's dad the sooner, the better. 

Magnus cradled Alec closer to his chest.

"This place is your personal safe haven, don't forget that. Your father doesn't know that we're connected. He won't find you here."

"Yes...yes, I have to tell that to myself."

"If you're not able to, I will gladly do that, darling," Magnus gently assured him.

* * *

* * *

Robert hadn't run away like everyone thought he would. He'd been waiting. Waiting for his son to get out of the hospital. And he'd been rewarded for his patience a few days later. 

Accompanied by an Asian man, who fucking wore make-up plus jewelry and was dressed like a goddamn party girl, Alec slowly walked out of the hospital, looking too healthy for Robert's taste. Robert snorted at the sight of his son with this...thing at his side. Alec was so pathetic. 

And Robert would let him pay, like he did with Maryse, not so long ago. He would punish his oldest son in the same way. People like them weren't allowed to run around, making him look like a fool.

No one acted against Robert Lightwood's will.

At least, he had one son left. 

Maxwell was barely adequate enough. But Robert would invest all of his time to form his youngest child to act in Robert's will. 

He'd trusted his wife too much in the past. And she'd gifted him with the eldest son who was fucking gay and a daughter he had no use for. Robert loved Isabelle, sure. But he didn't need her. She wouldn't be able to run the family business, he'd built up over all those years. 

Robert didn't believe in strong women. 

They simply weren't. 

They were not made for leadership positions. And Robert would not allow his daughter to show him otherwise. And her boyfriend? Simon Lewis was almost as freaky as his own son.

Robert had wanted to leave Maryse and the children 15 years ago. That was when she'd told him about her third pregnancy. 

And he'd stayed. 

For God's Sake, he should have left her. 

But, at least, Maryse had gifted him with another son. 

His last hope.

Robert followed the two men to an apartment complex, observing the building for a while. 

It took him some time to find out which apartment was the right one, but he managed. He asked some neighbors about a jewelry-wearing man, and very soon, Robert knew the man's full name.

Magnus Bane.

Robert remembered this name. He would take his time and check him out before he would get into action himself. He had a plan and was more than willing to make it work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Let me know, pls, I really appreciate it ♥


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First official date and a little twist at the end

In the following couple of weeks, Alec's bruises vanished slowly but steady. After a week of being with Magnus, Cat came over for a visit. And also to remove the stitches that were still left from his surgery. Just like she'd promised. Alec's trust toward her grew with every passing day, and he really could understand why Magnus had chosen her to be his friend.  
Alec had to see the doctor a couple of times, though. They wanted to make sure that his injuries were healing.  
Alec indeed felt better with every passing day. He even felt more and more comfortable in Magnus' apartment.  
The first days had been tense. Although, Magnus had assured him that he could do whatever he wanted to. But Alec had been unsure about everything. Alec never had something like that. Not even in his parents' home. He'd never been allowed to just do what he wished. So Magnus had jumped in to help and guide him.   
In the beginning, they'd started to put Alec's belongings all around the place. It helped Alec to settle a little. Magnus had shown him around, something they'd realized Magnus hadn't done before. Magnus had observed him consistently, making sure that Alec really did what he wanted to. He'd guided him to do so if necessary with so much patience.   
It had taken him a while, but Alec managed to not just think about the apartment as his home but rather to feel it.  
He even found himself relaxing more and more. His father's voice, just like Magnus had promised, vanished. He didn't hear him every time anymore. And Alec was more than hopeful about it. Magnus had pledged to him that he would feel better. And that was the fact. Having the feeling for real brought so much joy to him.  
Surely, his father was still out there, and Alec feared for him to come after him. But Magnus was always there to soothe him in case his panic got too intense. Alec was sure he would never be able to make it up to Magnus for being so kind and patient towards him.  
Alec also enjoyed kissing Magnus. A lot. He didn't feel abnormal throughout their make-out sessions, which involved nothing more than kissing and touching each other's arms and chests through their clothes. And even if Alec wasn't ready yet to initiate a kiss, he felt more and more confident, knowing that Magnus enjoyed kissing him as much as Alec did. Of course, Magnus had to tell him more than once, that he enjoyed it, but slowly, Alec started to believe in his words.  
Alec didn't want to go out much, as long as his father was out there, and Magnus understood it. He didn't ask once for him to join him doing groceries or other stuff.  
Magnus stuck around with him as much as he could. And if he had to be present at one of his clubs, Izzy or Jace came over, keeping him company. And Alec was rather thankful. He didn't want to be alone much, even less in the night.   
But the more time passed, the more comfortable Alec became with being alone. He'd always been someone who liked to spend time by just being with himself. He started to read some of Magnus' books or watched a movie when Magnus was out to make groceries or other stuff and found it okay.   
It was a step forward, right?

* * *

* * *

Robert, on the other hand, waited patiently, making sure to know everything about Magnus Bane and his working schedule. He wrote everything down, that overdressed guy did. Robert didn't get to see Alec a lot. He was sure that his son was waiting for him to come and get him. And damn, he was right about it.  
All the while Robert was waiting, he made sure that Max got out of everyone's reach. He owned Maryse's mobile phone since he'd locked her away until she would come to her senses. And so, he'd texted Isabelle and Jonathan, making sure that they wouldn't worry about her and Max's wellbeing, telling them that they were gone on a trip for a while.  
Max had protested at first - of course - but Robert had sent him to another school in Los Angeles anyway. As if he would care about anyone's opinion.  
He had a plan going on in his mind. Robert would hurt Alec, that was for sure. His son had to suffer for being an abnormality like this. And Robert would make sure that his son would do as he wished after he was finished with him.

* * *

* * *

Magnus woke up early that day. He had planned a great day and was determined to get everything ready before he would wake Alec. It would be Alec's first day out of the apartment without an appointment at the hospital, and Magnus wanted to make it perfect for him, though the other man didn't know about anything just yet.   
Alec had a rough time behind him.   
He still was in progress, struggling from time to time, but Magnus realized that he started to do better. And that left him, fortunately, planning a day at the Archery for his dearest Alexander. Magnus found that Alec deserved a day full of happiness. Magnus had made sure that Alec would be okay throughout the entire time. So, of course, he'd asked Catarina about the right time for the date. It was needless to say that Alec shouldn't be in pain anymore. And from what Magnus could tell, Alec was doing better.   
He also didn't need painkillers anymore and moved around normally.  
Magnus silently got everything ready they would need. They would start with a simple breakfast at home. Magnus knew by now what Alec's loved Belgian waffles and pancakes. And that was what they would have today. After breakfast, they would head to an Archery center where they would spend the rest of the day until dinner. Magnus knew that Magnus still wasn't fond of crowded places, so he prepared a picnic bag for them, knowing a place where they would be on their own.  
After everything was arranged, Magnus brought the stuff into his car. He checked the clock, realizing that he still had some time before he wanted to wake Alec. So Magnus checked on everything he'd prepared for a second time.   
He also checked on his clothes, make-up, and hair.   
Magnus just wanted to look as good as possible today. For any reason, Magnus felt more nervous now than ever before in his life. He'd been on so many dates before, but this one? It felt special to him, just like Alec did. And Magnus just wanted to make everything perfect for him; that was for sure. Alec deserved all the happiness, and Magnus was more than willing to make him feel wanted and, more so, loved.  
He sauntered into the bedroom he shared with Alec since the day they met. Most people would call them crazy. But Magnus, just like Alec, found so much comfort in the presence of his dearest Alexander at his side. They knew each other for not more than a few weeks and were so close.   
It almost frightened Magnus.   
Alec still knew not many things about him. They got to know each other in the past weeks, surely. But it had been all about Alec, that had been more important. But now that Alec felt better, Magnus wanted to make sure that Alec would get to know him so that he could decide whether he wanted to stick around with Magnus or not. Magnus knew he wasn't an easygoing character. And Alec should know him, including the good and the bad sides.   
Magnus didn't want to make the same mistakes again and again and again. But he would take his time. Alec was still in progress, and they had to take it slow.  
Silently, Magnus observed Alec's sleeping form. He was lying on his stomach, the face hidden in his pillow. Black hair was sticking in every direction, making Magnus chuckle a little. Even in his sleep, Alec was the most adorable person, Magnus had ever met.  
He cleared his throat, before silently calling out to Alec, to wake him as gentle as possible.  
"Alexander, wakey-wakey sleepyhead," he murmured gently, smiling when he only received a groan from Alec. He sat down on the edge of the bad, giving Alec his time to wake up.  
"Donwanna." It had taken Alec a while to reply, but he also managed to turn his head a little in Magnus' direction.  
"But you have to, I have an important question, darling," Magnus answered, smiling a little when he realized that he had Alec's attention. Alec yawned and slowly turned on his back, rubbing his eyes, his whole face right after before he finally managed to look in Magnus' direction. He yawned once more before finally talking in a hoarse voice.  
"What is it, Magnus? Are you okay?"  
"I am Alexander. But I thought that today might be the day to ask you out on a date."  
Alec gaped at him, his eyes were suddenly wide open, the sleepy expression gone.  
"You...what?!"  
"I wanted to ask you out on a date, Alexander. That if you want, of course."  
"Magnus...I...of course. I...uhm...are you sure, though?" Alec hesitantly asked. His face turned crimson within a few seconds, making Magnus smile a little wider.  
"I'm positive about that, darling. You must know that I've planned this for weeks, so, yes, I'm sure."  
Alec stared at him for a moment before he slowly sat up, meeting Magnus' eyes all the way. His expression was overwhelmed but fortunate at the same time.  
"Just for me? Magnus...," Alec murmured sheepishly, obviously still unsure. Magnus gently smiled at that sight.  
"Because of you, darling. I would love to go out on a date with you...how about you?"  
"I would love to," Alec answered, finally smiling at Magnus with so much affection, it made Magnus' heart flutter in excitement.  
"That's what I wanted to hear, Alexander." Magnus reached out his hand out to Alec's and squeezed it lovingly. "I can't wait to spend the day with you," he told him cheerfully, bending forward to kiss Alec. Alec immediately replied. Magnus smiled into the kiss, realizing how far Alec had come in the last weeks. He was so much more confident than first, and it made Magnus' heart swell.  
"Go, get ready. I'll be waiting in the kitchen with breakfast."  
"Okay," Alec affectionately smiled at him before he got out of bed and into the bathroom. Magnus adored his sight for a moment before he as well rose to his feet and made his way back into the kitchen.

* * *

* * *

Alec was a nervous wreck the moment he stepped under the hot water stream.   
He finally would have his first date. With a man. No, not just any man. With Magnus. Alec would have his first date with Magnus Bane...the man he so quick was growing fond of.   
"Fuck," was all he managed to say, as he quickly showered. He turned the water off and toweled himself before he walked back into the bedroom, the towel wrapped around his lower half.   
Alec was sure that he hadn't been so nervous about anything before. And while he was looking for something he could wear today, he focused on not freaking out too much. Alec took a few deep breaths and decided on simple dark jeans and a plain black shirt. He wanted to feel comfortable and knew, Magnus wouldn't mind. Besides, Magnus was looking great for both of them, right?  
Alec quickly got dressed and combed his fingers through his still-damp hair before he made his way into the kitchen. His stomach growled at the fabulous smell he was met with. Alec smiled the moment he stepped into the kitchen, realizing that Magnus made pancakes and waffles. It smelled mouth-watering, and Alec couldn't wait to dig in. His nervousness was quickly forgotten. He was fast at Magnus' side, sitting down on his usual place.  
"That smells delicious, Magnus!" Alec couldn't hide the excitement in his voice as he overlooked the food on the kitchen table. "And it also looks so tasty!"  
He smiled brightly at Magnus, who was watching him with the most fortunate look on his oh so beautiful face.  
"I'm glad you like, darling. Let's eat then."  
"Sure."  
They dug in, mostly eating in comfortable silence. Alec couldn't help but compliment Magnus after he'd eaten clearly too much.   
"I feel like I'm bursting at any second, but that was so good, Magnus," he told him, just to be gifted with another felicitous smile.  
"I'm happy you liked the start of our date. Ready for the second part?"  
Alec felt the nervousness coming back to him within no time. He nodded hesitantly.   
"Yes...sure," he answered. And the moment he saw the smile dropping from Magnus' face, Alec knew his face had shown his uneasiness. "I'm sorry. I am. Honestly. I'm just nervous, Magnus. That's all. I'm sorry," Alec repeated, sheepishly taking Magnus hand.  
"You can tell me if it's too much for you, darling. I won't be mad at you." Magnus gently squeezed his hand, reassuring Alec that it was alright, even if he looked a little hurt.  
"It's not...really. I just, uhm...it's my first date, and I've never had something like...surprises. It's just making me nervous because I don't know what's coming. I promise. It's not too much. I love to see what else you've planned."  
"Okay, then. But if you want me to tell you what I've planned to make it easier for you, let me know, okay? I don't want to be too much for you."  
Alec nodded, glad that he'd convinced Magnus. He still felt nervous, but if he talked about it to Magnus, it would get better. Magnus would understand him. But Magnus last sentence worried Alec a little, as well as his expression the moment he said it.   
"You're not too much, Magnus. That's something I know without a doubt. And if it makes me too uneasy not knowing where we're heading, I'll tell you," Alec told him, softly smiling at Magnus. He didn't want Magnus to feel bad because of his issues. "Let's go, okay? I'm sorry if I made you upset. I didn't want that. I really appreciate that you've planned a whole day for us. I'm really sorry," he said, once more, looking at Magnus straightaway.  
"It's okay, darling Stop apologizing." Finally, Magnus smiled at him, squeezing Alec's hand before he rose to his feet, pulling Alec with him. "Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable, okay? I want you to enjoy the day."  
Magnus stepped closer, letting go of Alec's hand, gently pulling him into a loving embrace. Alec gladly melted into Magnus' arms, bringing his arms around the other man's torso while he felt Magnus' ones around his neck.  
"I will anyway, as long as we are together," Alec sheepishly answered, feeling Magnus cradling him closer the moment he said it. They stood together like that for a moment, before Magnus pulled away.  
"Okay, we really have to go now, or we're running late."  
"Then let's go."  
Magnus brought out his hand to Alec. They entwined their hands and left Magnus' apartment, heading to Magnus' car. Alec's heart stepped faster in excitement the moment they walked out into the streets, waiting for someone to be disgusted by two men holding hands. But honestly, no one did care or even took notice of them as they walked towards Magnus' car. There was just an older woman who kindly smiled at him the moment their eyes met. Alec couldn't believe it.   
His father had always told him how people would be disgusted by gay people. But it was just the opposite.   
Alec caught Magnus looking at him, the question bright in his eyes as he did so.  
"I just...uhm. I hope it's not a mood-killer, but it's a good thing actually," Alec began, feeling his cheeks heating up as he talked. "It's just...my father...uhm, he always told me how disgusted people were by gay people. But that woman just smiled at me, uhm us...and that felt good," Alec explained, smiling a little as he did so. He felt more and more confident about his sexuality. He even felt comfortable holding hands with Magnus outside of his apartment.   
Magnus smiled back at him, nodding knowingly.   
"I totally understand...it feels good to be accepted for who you are, right?"  
"Right." Alec nodded in agreement. His father had been so wrong.  
They both got into the car after that, with Magnus driving them. At least he knew where they were going to.  
Twenty minutes later, they stopped in front of a center, Alec hadn't seen in years. His eyes grew wide at the sight of it.  
"We're doing Archery?" He asked, almost out of breath, suddenly very excited as he turned his head to look at Magnus.

* * *

* * *

Robert watched his son and that glittery Magnus Bane as they walked out of his apartment complex. And they were fucking holding hands. Rage burned in his guts as soon as Robert realized it. He'd initially planned to wait for a few more weeks before he would make his move. But seeing his son, being all disgusting like that, made his decision clear.  
He would make his move today. There was no way he would wait any longer.

* * *

* * *

Magnus was sure he hadn't seen Alec glowing in excitement like that before. He was actually beaming in happiness, and that was just, what Magnus had wanted.  
"Yep. I figured it would be a nice thing for you since you haven't done it in a while," Magnus answered cheerfully.  
"But...you don't do Archery...won't it be boring for you?"   
Magnus' heart fluttered at these words. Alec was such a pure soul, always thinking about the wellbeing of the people around him.  
"I'll be able to watch you. So I can assure you that I won't be bored. Quite the opposite, if I'm honest. Besides, you can teach me how to do it if you want to."  
If it was possible to look even more fortunate, Alec managed it perfectly as he nodded in excitement.  
"Of course. That'll be fun, I promise, Magnus."  
"I'm sure it will, darling," Magnus assured Alec, and both quickly got out of the car and into the Archery center.   
Magnus had booked an area all for Alec and him, knowing that Alec felt uneasy with many people around him.  
Alec surely was in his element the moment they'd stepped into the center, guiding Magnus to get the right bow and all the other stuff needed.  
Magnus could've watched Alec all day long. Seeing him so self-confident was much appreciated, and Magnus was sure that it would do good things to Alec.  
"Show me how it works," Magnus suggested, and Alec was fast to agree.  
Alec hit one bulls-eye after another, without much effort. His quiver was empty within minutes. Alec turned around, brightly smiling at Magnus, who was left speechless. Seeing the muscles on Alec's upper arms flexing with every shoot, had left Magnus in a state he'd not been in since he was a teenager.  
Alec quirked a brow at him, watching him with questioning eyes.  
"You okay over there?"  
"Alexander...more than that. You really are a sight, do you know that? Oh dear, what I would've missed if I hadn't brought you here," Magnus mused cheerfully, making Alec blush in embarrassment, but also chuckle in amusement. Magnus could tell that he didn't know how to react to these words, so he rose to his feet and stepped closer to Alec. He'd been able to calm down a little so that he wouldn't embarrass himself.  
"I guess it's my turn now," he said then. Alec nodded a little.  
"Only if you want to, of course," he politely answered, though it was visible that Alec wanted Magnus to, at least, try it. And Magnus was all in for it. He loved to try new things, but mostly Magnus wanted to try it because of Alec's puppy eyes.  
"Of course. I do. You just have to guide me, I guess I got lost a little watching you," Magnus admitted smilingly, shrugging as he saw Alec blushing a little more at these words. "I told you, you are a sight."  
"I...uhm, thank you?" Alec stuttered, his cheeks still in a deep red.  
"You're welcome, darling. Are you okay with a kiss?"  
Magnus wanted to make sure that Alec felt comfortable with his actions. It was all about him today, and Magnus wanted him to feel all good.  
Alec nodded, a little hesitant, though, but smiled at Magnus to assure him. And Magnus didn't give Alec the time to overthink it. He gently kissed him, bringing his hands to Alec's waist as he did so. Alec brought his hands to Magnus's shoulders, squeezing him tenderly as he responded to the kiss.  
"Let's get started, darling. Teach me."  
"Come on, then."  
Alec showed him how to stand correctly and how to hold his bow and arrow. He then positioned himself right behind Magnus, helping him, correcting his posture.  
"Try and shoot the arrow now," Alec whispered, Magnus could feel his breath on his neck, almost making him shiver. Magnus let go of the arrow, suddenly fully aware of how close they were. The arrow didn't hit anything but the ground right in front of Magnus' feet. But neither of them seemed to care.  
"Magnus," Alec murmured behind him in a raspy voice, Magnus hadn't heard before. And this finally made him shiver.  
"Alexander," Magnus murmured back, realizing how his own voice was sounding.  
"Your arrow fell to the floor," Alec managed to get out. Magnus was sure that he felt the same as he did. But all the things were new to Alec, and Magnus surely didn't want to make him uncomfortable.   
"I got...distracted," Magnus answered as a matter of fact.  
"Me too...I...uhm," Alec stuttered, making Magnus smile a little.  
"It's okay, darling. You know that, right? Let's just calm down for a moment and then try again, alright?"  
"Sounds good to me," Alec answered. Magnus could hear the shyness in his voice. "I know it's okay...just...uhm, not quite a good place," he murmured, not daring to take a step back. Magnus totally got why he had the same problem.  
They waited for a moment to ease their nerves before Magnus picked up the arrow.   
When they tried once again, they kept a little more distance between them. And this time, Magnus at least got the arrow shot.   
He was far from being good at Archery in any way.   
But it was fun. And seeing Alec so gorgeous and confident was absolutely worth any second they'd spent here.   
"I guess our time is over. But Alexander, I have a little present for you. I want you to be able to catch up on your hobby as often as you wish. That's why I applied for a membership in your name," Magnus lovingly told him, watching Alec's face.  
"But Magnus...I can't pay for it," Alec frowned, though it was visible that he just wanted to have that back.  
"Yet...but I can afford it. Just until you're able to pay by yourself, darling."  
"Are you...uhm...are you sure? You don't have to," Alec sheepishly mumbled, his cheeks turning adorably red once more for today.   
"I know that I don't have to, but I really want to give you that. And I hope you will accept it. I would be delighted to be honest."  
And that was the moment, Magnus knew he got Alec. His face softened at these words, the frown disappeared.  
"Will you join me from time to time?"  
"If that's what you wish, I'll gladly join you. But I think I'll stick to watching you. You're an adorable sight, all confident and focused," Magnus mused smilingly. He just felt the desperate need to throw compliments at Alec.  
"Okay...uhm..thank you? For both...you know?" Alec stuttered. And despite the blush on his face, he managed to shoot Magnus a smile that made his knees go weak.  
"You're more than welcome, Alexander," Magnus admitted.   
They gathered their belongings and left the Archery center soon after. It was already getting dark outside, and both men were hungry.  
"Our last stop before heading home isn't far away."  
"What are we going to do now?"  
Magnus grabbed Alec's hand on the way to his car before he started to talk.  
"I thought dinner would be nice...just the two of us," Magnus added when he felt Alec's hand stiffening in his. "It's nothing fancy, just sandwiches and some other stuff. But it'll be nice. Trust me?"  
"Okay...I do. Trust you. Of course, I do," Alec murmured. "I just don't like crowded places..."  
"And I know that darling. I haven't planned on going to a restaurant with you. Not yet, anyway. Maybe someday."  
"Okay...sorry for being such a pain in the ass, Magnus."  
"Don't start that, darling. You're not. Let's just have a great, yet simple dinner together and enjoy our time, alright?"  
They reached the car, and both took a seat.   
The drive took not more than ten minutes. Magnus parked it in a nearby parking lot.  
"Do you have any pain, Alexander?" He'd had so much exercise today, Magnus just wanted to make sure that Alec was okay.  
"Nope. I'm feeling great. Really," Alec answered, honestly smiling at Magnus, who just couldn't help himself but smile back.   
"That's wonderful. Not just because I might need some help carrying our stuff," Magnus admitted, making Alec chuckle a little.  
"Got it. Let's go then."  
Magnus opened the trunk of his car and put out everything they might need - a blanket, picnic basket, coats, and even a few candles. They split the things so that each of them could carry something.  
"It's just a few minutes from here, come on," Magnus told Alec, who nodded and followed Magnus. They stopped at a gate when Magnus fumbled out a key and opened it.  
"Please close and lock it behind you. I don't want us to have unbidden guests," Magnus asked Alec, waiting for the other man to close the gate.  
They walked a few minutes before Magnus stopped once more. He owned this little place for a long time, but most of the people didn't even know he had it. It was a simple and small piece of land. It was surrounded by a fence and many trees so you couldn't see what was inside. Magnus let them in and guided Alec into the middle of the place.   
"It's nothing fancy...," Magnus started, but Alec cut him off.  
"Is that yours? It's beautiful, Magnus..."  
Magnus had built his own safe haven here. It was simple, yes, but Magnus loved it here. He'd just put a plain table, two chairs in the middle of the place, surrounded by flowers in different colors.   
That was it.   
It was silent.   
It smelled good, most of the time, at least.  
Magnus didn't take care of the flowers himself, but Catarina and Madzie did. That was why you could find toys everywhere, even a sandpit. Catarina and Madzie loved to spend their afternoons here, and sometimes, Magnus joined them. They would eat and drink and just have a great time together.  
"I share it with Catarina," Magnus explained. "Or, Catarina takes care of the place, and I just relax here from time to time."  
"It's a great place," Alec said, still in awe, like it was the most gorgeous place he'd ever seen.  
"It's nothing special," Magnus tried to say, but Alec stopped him. He'd never initiated a kiss before, but this time, he did. He grabbed Magnus by the hem of his shirt and pulled him towards him. Alec then kissed him so tenderly but at the same time with so much passion, making Magnus' heart flutter in excitement. They had shared many kisses in the last few weeks, but this one was special and oh so different.  
Magnus didn't know how much time had passed while they just held each other and kept kissing passionately. It was the rumbling of both their stomachs that made them pull apart. Magnus grinned from ear to ear, still a little out of breath. Just like Alec.  
"We definitely have to eat, as much as I enjoy kissing you, darling," Magnus said with an amused smile. Alec nodded, his cheeks still flushed as he did so. Magnus couldn't help himself, he lifted his hand and tenderly caressed Alec's cheek. Alec leaned into his touch, closing his eyes for a moment. It felt so great to see Alec like this, so relaxed and carefree. Getting to know him like that was more than Magnus could ever wish for.  
"You're right, I'm starving," Alec answered, yet giving him a little peck on the lips for one last time.  
"Same here," Magnus answered, squeezing Alec's arms one last time before he let go of him. "Make yourself comfortable, dinner's ready in a few."  
"I can help you, you know?"   
"Okay then, you can decide whether we eat on the ground or at the table. It's a tough decision, you know?"  
Alec couldn't help but chuckle at Magnus' words. He knew it was pointless to argue, so he shrugged and decided without giving it a second thought.  
"On the ground, it is then."  
"A great decision. And so fast. It would've taken me hours to decide," Magnus mused, bringing the blanket to the ground. He placed several bowls on it. And because it was already dark, Magnus even lightened the candles he brought with them.   
Magnus felt Alec's eyes on him all the time, but he couldn't care less.  
"All set, let's dig in," Magnus turned around a little to smile at Alec, patting beside him. Alec didn't waste a second and sat down as close to Magnus as possible.  
"It's quite...uhm...romantic."  
"It's meant to be like that, Alexander," Magnus answered with a tender smile. "We're on a date, remember?"  
"I do...it's...the best thing, uhm, someone has done for me in like...forever. Well, yeah...," Alec stuttered affectionately, leaning against Magnus, the moment he put an arm around Alec's waist.  
"You deserve it to be honored and cherished in every way possible. And I tend to do this, Alexander," Magnus murmured, feeling Alec shudder a little at his words.  
"I don't deserve you, Magnus," Alec whispered, and Magnus squeezed Alec gently, cradling him closer.  
"You deserve all the good things, darling. You. Deserve. Them."  
"Thank you," Alec murmured, melting into Magnus' comforting embrace. "I guess I need to hear that from time to time."  
"Ask me, and I'll gladly tell you. Anytime."  
"I will. Thank you, Magnus. For everything."  
"You're more than welcome, darling. Let's eat now. I've heard someone is starving," Magnus tenderly said, kissing Alec's cheek one last time, before they finally started to enjoy their dinner.   
They ate in comfortable silence, still sitting as close together as possible.

* * *

* * *

Alec didn't know how long they'd just sat there, after dinner, and talked to each other. But by the angels, he enjoyed it so very much that he just didn't care. Just when he realized that Magnus, despite wearing a coat, was freezing, they decided to head back home.  
They packed their belonging, just stopping in between for a kiss here and there.   
Alec liked kissing Magnus very much, he could do it all day long without complaining. To be able to kiss him was such an honor.   
Alec had never thought he could have that. And here he was, having his first date with the man he...loved. Indeed. That was what it was. It wasn't just a simple affection, Alec knew the difference. Neither was it a simple crush. Alec wasn't even falling in love.   
He already was all in, head over heels to say so.   
The way back home also was silent. Magnus didn't break contact with him all the way, and it felt too good to be true. His heart melted every time, Magnus took a look at him and smiled when he realized that Alec was just watching him.  
"We're home," Magnus said after a while, shooting him another smile. Alec felt himself immediately smiling back. He was sure his cheeks would hurt in the morning from all the smiling. But hey, it could be worse, couldn't it?  
They got out of the car, entwining their hands the moment Magnus had made his way around the vehicle. Together, they sauntered back towards Magnus' apartment.   
But before they even had the chance to walk inside the building, Magnus tensed at his side, making Alec stop dead in his tracks.   
"Magnus?" He murmured, already feeling panic rising in his gut, the moment he bent his head and saw Magnus' facial expression as he looked up towards the windows.  
"There's someone inside the apartment. Alexander, call the police, okay? Just try to stay calm and call Detective Garroway. I'll take a look."  
"What? Magnus, no! You can't go in there, all alone!" Alec spoke with a panic-filled voice.   
"I will be fine. I'm a master at self-defense, don't you worry."  
Magnus turned his head to smile at Alec, though he could see the worry in Magnus' face. Both of them knew just one person who could be in there.  
His dad.   
"Call the police and wait for them. I'll give you a heads up if I'm wrong."  
Magnus kissed him tenderly before letting go of his hand. He smiled one last time at him before he walked into the apartment complex.

* * *

* * *

The moment, Magnus had looked up to the place he called his home, he'd seen a shadow moving around.   
Somehow, he knew that it was coming. Alec's dad had been able to hide for a few weeks now, Magnus was sure he was a very smart guy. But most importantly, Robert Lightwood was a dangerous man.  
Magnus didn't even know why he decided to check his apartment before the police would come. He could defend himself, surely. But that wasn't the main reason.   
Magnus felt so much hatred towards Alec's father. He'd never had this before, but this time, Magnus desperately wanted to get his fists into Robert Lightwood's face. Many times, to be honest.   
Finding himself in front of his door, Magnus silently opened it and stepped inside his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos on the previous chapter, it means so much to me!!!♥  
This one was slightly longer this time, but I didn't want to split the date in two chapters, and I guess you don't mind :)  
What do you think will happen next? Did you like the chapter? Let me know♥


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I hope everyone's doing well out there with the covid-19 pandemic. Take care of you ♥

Magnus was approached with silence the moment he stepped into his apartment. He decided to leave the front door wide open so that the police could quickly come in as soon as they would arrive. Hopefully, Alec would wait outside and wait for the cops, just like he'd asked him to do. Alec was safer out there on the streets. He shouldn't come face to face with his father if not necessary.

Magnus stood still and listened for a while. He didn't want to rush or make a wrong move. 

Alec's father was a dangerous man. The way he'd beaten his son a few weeks ago had proven that to Magnus, if not the dread, Alec felt towards his own father. Magnus would never be able to understand why people could hurt their own children.

He had to move carefully, but Magnus needed to make sure that Robert Lightwood wouldn't be able to flee this time. 

Suddenly, the floorboards in his living room cracked silently. But it was enough for Magnus to figure out, where Alec's father was hiding. 

Noiselessly, Magnus made his way to the living room and opened the door, taking in his surroundings. Everything still was, like Alec and Magnus had left them in the morning. He stood in silence once more, figuring out where exactly in his spacious living room the man was hiding. This was the first time Magnus hated that the room was full of stuff he used to decorate it with. There definitely were doo many things to hide behind.

"So...you found out I'm here."

A man stepped out of the shadows on his right side. Alec had shown him a picture of his dad some time ago, and Magnus promptly recognized him, but he was sure he would've also if he hadn't seen one. Bald-headed, a bit smaller than Alec. Though it was apparent, they were related. He was dressed in an expensive grey suit. A stubbly beard covered his face.

"It wasn't a smart move to look out of the window, Mr. Lightwood," Magnus calmly answered, standing still but ready to fight if necessary. "I would recommend you to leave my home now. The cops are already informed and on their way."

"Oh, I don't worry about that. It just means that I have to be fast then."

Magnus didn't see that coming. He'd thought Robert would be here to get his fingers onto Alec. To get him back with him. That he wanted to hurt his son once more. Damage him beyond repair, like he'd almost done.

But Magnus realized very fast that it hadn't been Robert's intention in the first place. Robert Lightwood wanted to hurt his son, that was true. But he wanted to do it through Magnus. 

God, he'd made the dumbest move he could've done in stepping inside his apartment all on his own. But the anger, he'd kept inside him, since he knew how Alec had suffered under his father had prevented him from thinking clearly. Magnus almost rolled his eyes at his own stupidness. Sometimes he wondered how he managed to survive that long. Out of the stupid things he'd done in his life, God, which were many, this seemed to be the dumbest move he'd ever done.

But yet, Magnus kept focused on the man in front of him. He had to get out of this situation quickly, that was for sure. 

But Robert Lightwood wasn't in for that. He was on him within a second. Magnus realized a dagger in his hand early enough and was able to elude the moment Robert tried to hit him with it. Magnus was a dancer, after all, a master at self-defense. And though it seemed to other people that he sauntered through his life, all slowly and passionately, Magnus indeed was able to move very fast if necessary.

All so quickly, he threw his fist at Robert, not giving the other man the chance to avoid it. 

His knuckles met the older man's cheekbone in an instant, sending a great pain through his arm into his shoulder. But Magnus didn't even grimace in pain, he just felt relieved. 

The next struck hit Robert's nose. Magnus thought to hear the bones breaking, blood spilled in every direction. 

Onto Magnus' precious carpet. 

Onto his expensive furniture. 

Onto the clothes, he was wearing, which of course, were his favorites. He wouldn't have worn anything other today, for his first date with his dearest Alexander. 

But Magnus couldn't care less. At this moment, at least. He was able to give something back to Robert Lightwood for what he did to his son. His knuckles hurt, but that as well wasn't interesting to him. Magnus wasn't the kind of guy to hurt other people...but Robert Lightwood just deserved it. Merely thinking about the way he'd treat his son his whole life was enough for him. He'd only once felt so much disgust towards another person before, and that was Camille.

"I told you to leave Mr. Lightwood," Magnus said once more, his voice still calm, despite the reluctance he felt. He backed away a little, the moment the older man fell to his knees, protectively holding his nose. Sirens were to be heard in the distance, and Magnus felt relief rushing through him, knowing that Alec had called Detective Garroway. 

He just wanted to get this man out of his apartment, out of Alec's life. Alec deserved to live a happy life. And with his father in his way, it just wasn't possible.

"You should've never come here...all on your own, Mr. Bane. You should have stayed outside with my sorry excuse of a son. But I'm glad to see that you're as stupid as Alexander. You two truly deserve each other."

Robert came back to his feet. Blood still was dripping from his nose, but Robert didn't seem to take notice of it anymore. Their eyes met, and none of them said a word for a moment.

"You should already be imprisoned. But soon you will, and your marvelous son will be free to be himself. And I  _ can't wait _ to be a part of that."

Rage filled Robert's eyes. Deep inside, Magnus knew he shouldn't have said anything like that to Alec's dad. He just should have shut his mouth instead. But Magnus had never been one to hold back his own opinion. He fucking couldn't help himself, no matter what. Couldn't the man see what he'd done to his own son? 

Well, no. 

No, he simply couldn't. 

That was the only answer. And Magnus obviously should've known better. His own father had acted similarly all those years ago, right? 

The dagger was still left in Robert's hand. And the way, the older man smiled at him; it made Magnus shiver. That man wasn't himself anymore. 

Magnus suddenly was sure that Robert Lightwood had been so focused on Alec's "illness" that he'd grown mad over it in all those years. And an insane man was much more complicated to handle than just a furious man. They acted spontaneously, they didn't think much about their actions, nor their consequences. 

Magnus carefully stepped back once more to get some distance between them, but that made Robert's smile even broader. 

"Are we afraid, Mr. Bane? You should be."

"Afraid might be the wrong word to describe my feelings, Mr. Lightwood. But guess what? I haven't planned on explaining it to you," Magnus answered calmly, looking Robert straight in the eyes. "You're such a shame, a sorry excuse of a father, who's supposed to protect his children. Who's supposed to help and guide them, when they struggle. How could you dare and treat your son like that?"

Magnus desperately wanted to distract Robert. The sirens were getting louder, but they still weren't close enough for Magnus' taste.

"Alexander deserves it." The answer, Robert gave him, was simple. But before Magnus could even say one word, Robert started to talk again. "He's an abnormality. Just like you with all that glitter, make-up, and your attitude. Should I treat him or any of your...sexuality...otherwise? He's a shame to the Lightwood family, and if he doesn't do as I wish, there's only one thing I can do."

"And that is?" Magnus honestly didn't care anymore what stranger thought about him. Robert would never be able to hurt him with his words. Magnus knew better than that. But he wanted to hear what Robert intended to do with his son.

"Make him suffer in every way possible before he gets on his knees, apologizes, and starts to act the way I told him to."

But suddenly, before Magnus could even open his mouth to answer, Robert's gaze focused on something behind him, and Magnus' heart stopped a beat. 

He was sneaky, that was something, Magnus got to know about Alec pretty fast. He could move around as silent as a shadow, giving Magnus more nearly-heart-attacks in the past weeks than he wanted to admit.

_ Please don't let it be him. _

"Alexander. So you've decided to join our little party...well that's nice, I've been waiting for you."

Magnus' heart clenched painfully at the realization that his dearest Alexander, indeed, was standing right behind them.

* * *

* * *

Alec called the police as soon as Magnus entered the building. He didn't dare to waste a second. 

Detective Garroway promised him to be there as fast as possible. He'd asked him to wait outside, but Alec couldn't help himself. Magnus was in there. And if he was right, and his father was in there too, Magnus would need help. 

Alec didn't know if he actually would be able to do anything to help Magnus. But at least, he would try.

Hesitantly, Alec walked into the building. His steps towards the stairs seemed so much louder than ever before as he took the first step upstairs. Alec's legs moved on its own, and he felt his body trembling in fear. But Alec honestly didn't know what he was more afraid of: seeing his father, or the fact that Magnus could get injured by his father. 

Alec couldn't think straight. Otherwise, he wouldn't have gone to Magnus' apartment. But he just couldn't help himself.

Finally, he found himself at the front door. It was left wide open, and Alec could hear Magnus and his father talking to each other.

_ "Make him suffer in every way possible before he gets on his knees, apologizes, and starts to act the way I told him." _

Alec shuddered as he heard his father talking about him. 

Magnus had been right. His father had found him. Alec didn't really know what he was doing when he pulled out his phone and texted his siblings. He almost dropped it twice before he managed to send a text in their group chat.

Alec, with shaky hands, shoved his phone back into his pocket and hesitantly took a few more steps inside the apartment. 

The moment he came into his father's view, said man looked up, an insane smile on his face.

"Alexander. So you've decided to join our little party...well that's nice, I've been waiting for you."

"F.father," Alec managed to answer, feeling tense and on the verge of panicking. But he kept reminding himself that Magnus was here, at his side. That they would do anything to protect each other. Detective Garroway was on his way, and Alec was sure his siblings as well. Everything would be okay in the end. 

Alec focused on his breathing and somehow managed to stay calm.

"Still that stuttering mess. Well. I don't know what I did wrong to deserve you, but I'll get you there. Listen. You've got two options. Either you come with me, and I won't hurt that...man, or you refuse. But be sure I will get what I want. Either way. It depends on you and how much you want Mr. Bane here to be dead or alive."

Alec felt like a cold hand wrapped itself around his heart at his father's words.

"Don't listen to him, Alexander, I'll be fine. We will be fine."

Magnus' voice alone kept him calm. And even if Magnus didn't turn around to look at him, Alec felt better, hearing his soothing voice. It took Alec a while from there on to talk. But somehow, he managed it.

"I...I won't go with you...never again," Alec stutteringly answered, fixing his gaze onto his father's. "I stay here...with Magnus." He said, his voice firmer at this moment, staying his ground in front of his father, hopefully for the last time ever. 

"Your decision, Alexander. You're the one to blame for what happens now."

Alec felt like the time was passing by in slow-motion. He saw his father making his move toward him. Alec also saw Magnus jumping in between them, showing his dad away. But what, retrospectively, stood out most was the dagger that had been in his father's hand before and was now deep sticking in Magnus' side. 

His father slumped to the ground, and Alec bent his head a little to look at his smug face. It was just then that Alec realized that this had been his father's plan. He didn't try to hurt Alec physically. His father wanted to do it through Magnus from the beginning. 

After what felt like a goddamn eternity, Alec heard the police officers running towards them, saw Magnus turning around to face him. Alec didn't see anything but Magnus' face. A pale, surprised look on it before he sank to his knees, clutching his side as he did so. A silent, painful groan escaped Magnus' lips just in time.

And that was the moment, Alec felt himself coming into action. He ran towards Magnus and caught him in his arms, preventing him from falling straight onto his injury.

"Magnus," Alec fearfully whispered as he carefully laid him down, making sure not to hit the dagger. He tenderly placed Magnus' head on his tighs. Alec wasn't experienced with that kind of wounds, Magnus had and desperately wished to have Catarina here. "I'll call an ambulance."

Magnus nodded at him, smiling weakly despite the obvious pain he was in.

"I'll be fine, Alexander. You'll see," Magnus murmured, keeping his eyes on him the whole time. Alec nodded shakily, pulling out his phone with trembling hands. But someone grabbed it before he could even unlock it.

"Let's us do that, big brother."

Alec looked up and was met with the worried faces of his siblings. He nodded gratefully, relieved that he could give all his attention to Magnus and to know that his siblings were with him, giving him comfort. Alec was so afraid to lose Magnus, he couldn't think clearly. He took Magnus' hand in his, observing his pale face, his side right after that. Blood was dripping out of the wound, slowly but steadily.

"Don't move it out, darling. Put...put my scarf around it, please. And then...just look at me, alright? I need to see those beautiful hazel eyes of yours."

Alec once more was glad that Magnus guided him, even if he was the one who was wounded severely. But Alec did as Magnus told him. Very carefully so. He didn't want to be the one, causing him more pain. After he did, what Magnus had asked him for, he took his hand in his.

"In movies, they always say that you have to stay awake," Alec stutteringly began, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper as he fearfully smiled at Magnus. "Can...can you try to stay awake for me? Please." He added, almost begging Magnus. Alec felt tears stinging in his eyes and did his best to fight them away.

"I'll do my very best, Alexander," Magnus whispered, squeezing Alec's hand weakly to support him. "I'm sorry for making such a dumb move," Magnus added, Alec almost didn't hear him. "I should've stayed with you."

"You should've. But it happened, and I'm not mad at you. Just...just don't do this ever again," Alec almost pleaded. 

He heard Detective Garroway arresting his father right behind them, giving orders to the other officers right after to guide the ambulance for Magnus to the right apartment. 

He risked a short look at Magnus' side, realizing that his scarf was already soaked in blood. "Where's the goddamn ambulance," Alec almost whispered to himself, looking back into Magnus' face. Did he get even paler?

"I won't...promise," Magnus answered, half-slurring as he did so. "I'm not feeling so well," he added right after, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Don't...please. Magnus, stay awake with me, okay?" Alec looked over to his siblings, who were watching, their faces full of concern and worry.

"They will be there in the next few minutes," Izzy told him, her voice tearful. 

"Okay." Alec looked back at Magnus, who was watching him through half-opened eyes, a tender smile on his pale, pain-stricken face. 

"Magnus...," Alec whispered, carefully cradling him closer. "Please."

"It'll be fine, Alexander. You'll see." 

Alec almost didn't hear what Magnus was saying but nodded anyway. He just wanted Magnus to get the help he desperately needed. And he didn't want Magnus to see his fear. Alec wanted him to stay as calm as possible. 

"I'll take you to those words," Alec almost whispered, seeing Magnus smile weakly once more, before he closed his eyes. Magnus then went limp in Alec's arms. 

Fear and panic flooded his body at the same time, and he tightened his grip around Magnus.

"Magnus, please...," Alec whispered. "Please don't die on me, please."

Alec didn't realize the hand of his siblings on his shoulders in the afford to give him comfort. He also didn't hear the emergency doctors coming towards them. Alec was so focused on Magnus that Izzy and Jace had to shake him, to get him back to the present.

"Alec! You're in the way! Let them help Magnus!"

Finally, Alec hesitantly let go of Magnus, letting Izzy and Jace pull him away from the man he feared to lose.

_ I haven't told him that I love him yet. Please. _

"I...he can't die...," Alec fearfully murmured, not letting his eyes leave Magnus, while the doctors took care of him. Soon, they lifted him onto a stretcher, eyes wandering to the siblings.

"Is anyone of you related to Mr. Bane?"

"Yes!" Izzy jumped in, shoving Alec, who still wasn't able to say anything, into their direction. "He's his fiance!"

Alec didn't even blush at the lie, Izzy was helping him out with. To be honest, he just wanted to be near Magnus. Alec wouldn't be able to stay here and wait for any news. So he was quite grateful, even if he couldn't show it at that point.

"Alright, you can join us if you want."

"Y...Yes, of course," Alec answered, nodding right away. Izzy shoved his phone back into his pocket before she gave him a big bear hug.

"Tell us where you are, we will join you," Jace told him, hugging Alec as well, while the doctors brought Magnus to the ambulance. Alec nodded and followed the doctors hurriedly.

They arrived at the hospital pretty quickly, and Magnus was brought to the surgery. He didn't wake up once during the drive.

Alec was, of course, told to wait outside, and he did just that. He'd texted his siblings and also Catarina, hoping she would be at work anyway. More importantly, Alec knew that Catarina needed to be aware of what had happened. She was Magnus' best and longest friend, after all.

Alec was lucky. 

Within five minutes, Catarina was at his side, pulling him into a fierce hug. 

"What happened, Alec?" She asked him after they pulled apart, looking at Alec in concern. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay...it...my father. He, uhm, he stabbed Magnus. He uhm, he was in Magnus' apartment when we came home," Alec tried to stay calm, he honestly fought for every word to come out, without bursting out in tears. He desperately tried to remain strong for Magnus.

"Oh, Alec...I'm so sorry. Hey, I'll go, check on Magnus' condition, would you like me to do that? I bet they haven't told you anything when you came here, right?!"

Alec nodded sadly, looking at Catarina for a moment. "That would be great...I just...I need to know...," he started, but Catarina smiled knowingly at him, squeezing his hand to give him some much-needed comfort. 

"I understand. Just wait here, I'll be right back."

Cat rose to her feet and left him right in time when his siblings found him. They sat down on both sides of him, comforting him with just their presence.

* * *

* * *

The moment, Alec and Magnus were brought to the surgery, Izzy and Jace made their way to Detective Garroway. They'd tried to contact their mother after Alec had texted them but just got the voicemail. The same happened with Max. He usually used to spoil them with so many pictures throughout the day. But lately, they hadn't heard anything of him as well. Receiving a text message from their mother the previous day didn't make anything better. It was odd. They'd informed the NYPD, of course, but they weren't able to do anything as long as they received messages from their mother.

"Detective Garroway!" Izzy called out. She and Jace stopped in front of him.

"How can I help you, guys?"

"Luke...we have the suspicion that something happened to our little brother, and mom," Jace started. They knew each other since Detective Garroway was the stepfather of his girlfriend, Clary. "We haven't seen them in a week or so and just received one message from our mother, telling us she's on a trip with Max...in the middle of the school time. That's not typical for her."

"Okay, that's odd for Maryse, I give you that. Give me your mom's number and your brother's as well, and I'll run some checks at the department."

They did as Luke asked them, grateful that he would help them. Both Jace and Izzy had a bad feeling in their guts. 

"Thanks, Luke. We'll be with Alec, but if you find out anything, please, let us know."

"Will do so, Jace."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! Don't hate me ♥  
I would never let Magnus die, so don't worry too much ♥


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's healthy and stays at home, remember, it's so important! ♥   
Stay in contact with your family & friends via skype, whatsapp or any other social media, but please, protect yourself and others!   
Anyways, have a great weekend ♥

"He lost a high amount of blood. If he hadn't been brought here in time, there would've been nothing they could've done for him. He will be in pain for a while and has to take it slow, but other than that, he will be fine."

A wave of relief flashed through Alec the moment, Catarina told him what she'd found out about Magnus. She'd been away for the past 30 minutes, and Alec had already started to imagine the worst. It had been the most long-drawn half of an hour of his life, to be honest. 

Alec's shoulders slumped, tension falling from his whole body in an instant. He hadn't allowed himself to cry until now. 

But in that very moment, Alec couldn't stop a few tears from streaming down his face, before he angrily wiped them away. Alec had to be strong, no, he wanted to be. His father was finally in jail, and Magnus would be okay within a few weeks. Things were about to get better now.

"Thank you for checking on Magnus for me," Alec murmured gratefully. He even managed to crack a smile at Catarina, who currently kneeled in front of him. His siblings were sitting at his side. They'd tried to comfort him during the wait for Catarina, to soothe him. But Alec hadn't even answered them as he kept staring at the doors, Catarina had gone through. His mind had been too occupied with Magnus' injuries to give any attention to them.

"You can see him as soon as he's out of surgery."

"Sounds very good."

Catarina squeezed his hand gently, smiling at him, amusement glistening in her eyes. 

"Oh, you have every right to...I heard that you're Magnus' fiance," she answered, winking amusedly at him. Alec blushed heavily at these words. 

"I....uhm...," he started ashamedly, but Catarina cut him off.

"It's fine! I'm sure that Magnus won't be mad. He'll have quite a lot of fun about it if you ask me. Prepare yourself," she told him, smiling gently at the sight of Alec's embarrassment.

Alec nodded hesitantly. "Okay." He also was sure that Magnus wouldn't be mad, but still, it felt strange to him to be called a fiance. 

"I'll get you when Magnus' surgery is finished, just wait here."

"Thank you, Catarina...for everything. I...uhm, just...thank you."

"No need to thank me. I'm glad I can help. Call me if you need anything, okay. I'll be right here."

"Will do that, thanks. What do you think about how long it will take until the surgery is done?"

"I think it'll take an hour, maybe two until they're finished."

Alec nodded in acknowledgment. It would be a long time, but he would manage. At least Izzy and Jace kept him company.

Cat rose to her feet and left the siblings after saying goodbye. 

Alec leaned back onto his chair and finally breathed a sigh of relief as he closed his tired eyes. 

He felt Izzy's hand on his and entwined their fingers, giving Izzy's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you for being here," Alec started, wanting to say more, but he got cut off from his sister.

"I don't know where else we should be. That's what family is for."

"I know. But I've burdened you with so much lately and I just...I don't want that for you."

"We know that, buddy," Jace started. "But you've been there for us all the time, no matter what dad did to you. You listened to our bullshit, kept driving us around, despite the things that happened to you. And I still can't believe we didn't realize anything! But honestly, Alec, now that we have a chance to give a little bit of that back to you, we're all in! You have to accept it," he said with a shrug.

"Couldn't have said it better. Damn right he is," Izzy added, making Alec chuckle in amusement. He opened his eyes, and gratefully smiled at both of his siblings.

"I guess I have to get used to it."

"Yep. You have no other choice. I, for myself, can't wait to spoil you rotten! By the way, do you need anything? Coffee, tea, food?" Izzy asked, but Alec shook his head a little. 

"No. I can't swallow anything until I've seen Magnus. But thank you anyway," he answered, but something crossed his mind a second later, and Alec opened his mouth once more. "Magnus...he might need some clothes. You know his wardrobe way better than I do, Izzy. Would you...maybe...only if you want to..." By the Angel, Alec hated to ask for something. He'd never been allowed to ask for help. But he wouldn't leave this hospital before he'd seen Magnus to make sure that he would be okay. And Alec wasn't sure if he would be able to leave his side after that as well.

"Of course!" Izzy jumped hin, sparing him from asking his question. He had to make sure to learn it. "I'll pack a bag for him. We'll leave as soon as Catarina brings you to Magnus. You two will need some time together."

"Thanks, Izzy. I wouldn't even know what to get him, to be honest," Alec answered, rather gratefully. Izzy and Magnus shared the same passion if it came to fashion. They'd gone shopping twice since they knew each other. His sister would know what Magnus would need. Alec was glad that he didn't have to do it.

"You really like him," Jace stated, as a matter of fact, looking at Alec with a fortunate expression. It was clear that Jace was happy for him. That, too, was something, Alec had to get used to. Alec blushed once more but nodded anyway. 

"Yeah...I...I really do," he answered. It wasn't easy for him to express his feelings when it came to other people than Magnus. He hadn't been allowed to do so for his whole life. But by the Angel, his feelings for Magnus had become so strong in the past weeks. The thought of telling him those three words were nagging at him for a few days now. 

And Alec felt that they were real. It was far beyond a simple attraction. He'd fallen madly in love with Magnus. And Alec couldn't be more grateful for getting the chance to tell him that. If Alec would find the right words, that is. 

But he would try. Something that he'd promised Magnus to do every day. And Alec was sure, that Magnus out of all, would understand him. He always did. Better than anyone.

"I'm so happy for you, big brother," Jace stated, with Izzy nodding right away.

"Thanks, guys...I really appreciate it."

They waited for another 90 minutes before Catarina finally came back to them. 

"The rest of the surgery went well, Magnus is in his room momentarily. He's asleep right now and weak due to the blood loss, but he's already asked for you, Alec. Let's not let him wait too long."

Alec was on his feet within a second. He hugged his siblings, promising them to text them the number of Magnus' hospital room and followed Cat right after.

She brought him to the room, Magnus was lying in all on his own. 

"Sit down with him, I'm sure he'll soon wake up again. Do you need anything?" Cat asked him silently, but Alec just shook his head in denial before he made a beeline to Magnus' bedside.

"Call me if you do," Alec heard Cat's words, but he was too focused on Magnus to answer her. He didn't even hear Catarina leaving the room.

Alec stood for a moment, observing Magnus' sleeping form. His face was free from make-up, Alec was sure Catarina had done that. Even his hair was without any products in it. Alec tenderly took a strand of his smooth hair between his fingers before he let go of it again. He'd seen Magnus like this before, every night before bedtime, to be honest. But Alec had never gotten the chance to watch Magnus while he slept; Alec had always been the first one to fall asleep. 

Magnus' head was bent in his direction, his face in a relaxed expression, though it still was very pale. He was dressed in a hospital gown and hooked to IV's and a blood transfusion as well. 

Alec silently brought a chair over to Magnus' bed, sitting down beside him. At first, he hesitated, but it didn't take long before Alec carefully put Magnus' hand in his. Alec desperately needed to feel Magnus. His hand was cold hin his and limp, but Alec didn't mind. To be honest, he did feel better the moment he came in contact with Magnus.

Alec silently pulled out his phone and texted his siblings like he'd promised before he made himself as comfortable as possible, waiting for Magnus to wake up again.

* * *

* * *

Luke was sitting behind his desk. A frown covered his face while he was looking at the desktop of his computer. Luke already had checked Maryse's phone, as well as her son's, Max. He wasn't able to track them.

Luckily, he and Maryse knew each other since their school days, and lately, they'd freshened up their contact. That's why Luke knew a few places to send his officers to, to check them out. They came up with nothing.

Sighing, Luke looked up as one of his officers stopped in front of his desk.

"Detective, we made out Maxwell Lightwood. He's in Los Angeles."

"Los Angeles? How does that come?"

"Yes, we had a call from him on Mr. Lightwood's phone, begging him to bring him back to New York."

"Alright, I call him. Let's find out why he's there."

He took the number, Maxwell had called from and dialed it, waiting for the boy to pick up the phone.

* * *

* * *

Magnus slowly opened his eyes, lids heavy from sleep and exhaustion. He remembered Cat bringing him to his hospital room and falling asleep after she'd told him to bring Alec to him.

It took Magnus a while to accustom his eyes since it was way brighter than when he'd fallen asleep. He blinked a few times, and finally, his vision became clearer, revealing Alec sitting right beside him. He was smiling in relief, though his expression was tired.

"You're awake," Alec's hoarse voice greeted Magnus, making him smile weakly. He cleared his throat a few times before he even tried to speak.

"Alexander...you're here," he murmured delightedly, in a husky voice.

"Of course...I...I had to see that you're okay," Alec answered silently, squeezing Magnus' hand tenderly. It was just then that he realized that Alec was holding it. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, no scratch that. Exhausted," Magnus answered honestly, and just maybe a little dramatically. "And thirsty. Oh, wait...and I'm so glad that you're here," he added hoarsely, smiling as Alec blushed as he kept looking at Magnus.

"Here's some water for you."

Alec let go of Magnus' hand to grab a glass of water that had been waiting on Magnus' nightstand. He helped Magnus to take a few slow sips before placing it back again.

"Better?"

"Better," Magnus agreed, sighing in relief. After that, he observed Alec for a moment. Magnus felt weak and tired and just wanted to sleep for a whole week. But he desperately needed to know if Alec was alright with everything that had happened recently.

"Alexander, please tell me...how are you feeling?" He asked, concerned. Alec looked at him and smiled a little, taking Magnus' hand back in his.

"I'm okay. Really. It was just a little much lately. And I was anxious about you..." Alec admitted shyly, not averting his beautiful hazel eyes from Magnus' concerned gaze. Magnus tenderly entwined their fingers before he began to speak.

"I'm thoroughly sorry about my dumb behavior. I should've known better than that, darling. But the thought alone that your father was in  _ our home _ to get you back to do whatever his insane mind was up to stopped me from thinking."

"It's okay. Really. I told you that I'm not mad, and I mean it. Everyone does silly things from time to time. Father is locked in jail now anyway. He can't hurt anyone anymore. And...uhm...and you made it...you're alive, that's what's important to me...uhm...yeah," Alec answered, blushing once more throughout his words. Magnus' heart stopped a beat at that. He knew he meant something to Alec, but Magnus hadn't allowed himself yet to be hopeful about a future together. He hadn't let anyone come as far as Alec. Not since Camille. But maybe, Magnus would be granted a second chance. Magnus desperately needed love in his life, a person to rely on. If he would get that chance with Alec, Magnus would gladly take it.

"Alexander...," he started, but Alec cut him off. He desperately seemed to get something off his mind. So Magnus quickly shut his mouth and started to listen.

"No, Magnus. I mean it. I was so afraid to lose you, and I...I realized that I can't live without you anymore. I just...Not just...only because you've been there, uhm, for me all the time. But because you're so gentle and understanding, uhm, because I feel safe with you. And honored...well, and, uhm, yeah...loved. And so much more confident. I...I never thought I could have that, uhm, and the thought of losing you and, uhm, all the positive things that came with you...I couldn't bear that, Magnus. I...I don't want to be without you anymore," Alec rambled on, looking at their locked hands, while he brought his other hand to his neck to rub it. Magnus listened to him, with tears glistening in his eyes. And even if he wanted to say something, Magnus knew that his voice would fail him right away. "I know that I'm a mess right now. But I'm getting better. I wouldn't if you wouldn't encourage me all the time I need it. And I know we don't know each other for so long, uhm...but I...I love you, Magnus. I really love you," Alec stated. And Magnus knew it couldn't be possible, but Alec managed to blush even more, the redness spreading onto his neck and all the way up to his ears. But Magnus didn't care. He stared at Alec, not able to say anything. Oh boy, how did he deserve that? Magnus' heart pounded in his chest, and he felt like he was floating in happiness.

"It's okay if you don't feel that way...," Alec started then, making Magnus realize how long, indeed, he hadn't said a word.

"Alexander, stop it," Magnus told him quickly, squeezing his hand before he gently tried to pull Alec towards him. "I love you, too. I've had a few relationships and numerous affairs. But I've never felt what I feel for you. I genuinely do love you too, Alexander Lightwood. And now, please darling, kiss me," he murmured, not being able to talk louder right now. But he knew that Alec understood him anyway. 

Alec quickly but carefully bent over to Magnus and pressed his lips onto Magnus' in a tender kiss. It wasn't fierce or impulsive, just soft and oh so full of love and promises for a future they would share. 

Magnus didn't remember if he'd ever been that fortunate before. Despite the weakness and pain he felt, Magnus couldn't help but smile brightly as they pulled apart after a moment. And seeing Alec beaming in happiness too, made that smile even broader.

"You never cease to amaze me, Alexander, do you know that?" Magnus whispered as he observed Alec closely for a moment. "You've come so far in the last weeks, and I'm so proud of you. You're not a mess, darling. Far from it. You're doing so great, and I can't wait to get to know your carefree side as well."

"You helped me so much. I...I thought about ending it...uhm, you know? My life... on the day we met. You saved me in so many ways, Magnus," Alec admitted sheepishly. Magnus, indeed, was taken aback by these words but decided to not give them too much space, for he knew that Alec would never do that now. The thought had been there back then, but now, his dearest Alexander wanted to live, to laugh, and to enjoy his life. 

And that was what counted.

"I'm glad you let me help you...that you let me in and trusted me. And I  _ can't wait _ to see what the future has in store for us."

"Me too," Alec whispered, meeting Magnus' eyes with his beautiful hazel ones. They were shining with so much love, Magnus' heart swelled at this sight. 

He smiled at Alec and tried to stifle a yawn. He didn't want to admit that he felt sleepy again. Magnus enjoyed the time with Alec way too much. 

"Sleep. I'll be here. You'll need your rest," Alec gently told him.

"You don't have to stay, darling," Magnus answered, knowing by experience that the chairs, Alec currently was sitting on were very uncomfortable. And Alec would need his rest too.

"But I want to. Period," Alec answered, causing Magnus to grin tiredly. He wasn't able to object right now, so he just shook his head in amusement.

"You didn't tell me that you can be so stubborn...I like that," he hummed and closed his eyes when he heard a chuckle coming from Alec.

"Sweet dreams, Magnus," were the last words he heard before sleep came over him.

* * *

* * *

The moment Luke hung up after his talk with Max Lightwood, he picked it up once more, dialing the number of Jace. Luke didn't have to wait long until the younger man answered.

"Luke! Any news?"

"Yes, actually! We found your younger brother, Max. His father brought him to a boarding school in Los Angeles. I just talked to him, he's alright, but Maryse isn't with him. That makes me wonder if there are more places your family owns. Places we haven't checked yet," Luke asked. By now, he worried more about Maryse, than he wanted to admit. He'd started to care about her. Something that hadn't happened since Jocelyn's death a few years ago.

Clearly, Luke had tried to ask Robert about Maryse, but he hadn't said a word since he'd been locked up besides asking for his lawyer.

"I have to recheck with Izzy...Alec doesn't know anything by now. We wanted to talk to him as soon as we know what happened. But if I remember it right, we have a cabin a little outside of New York. I constantly forget that it exists. We haven't been there since we've been children. I call Izzy and text you the address in the next few minutes."

"Sounds good to me, thanks, Jace."

"No problem at all. What about Max?"

"I told him that we call him as soon as we found Maryse. It's better if he stays away for another while. But I send you his number. That's all I can offer for now."

"Better than nothing, thank you, Luke!"

"Thank you too, Jace."

It didn't take Jace long to send Luke the address he'd been talking of. Luke checked the place, deciding that they would drive to the cabin today. They still had some time to pass, and the way wasn't too long.

So he brought two Officers with him, as well as Ollie, his partner.

They reached the cabin an hour later. Jace had given him the information where the spare key was hidden, so they took him and went inside.

It was evident that someone had been around here lately. Cans of old food were lying on the kitchen counter as well as empty bottles.

"Maryse Lightwood might be here. Let's split into pairs and check the rooms."

The others agreed, and quickly, the four of them checked every room. It was in the main bedroom that Luke and Ollie finally found Maryse, chained to the bed. She wasn't conscious, and if Luke was right, Maryse seemed to be thinner than the last time he'd seen her. Bruises in different shades covered her body. 

Luke rushed to her side, loosening the bonds that were forcing Maryse to stay in place.

"Maryse, can you hear me?" He gently asked as he checked her pulse. Her heart was beating steadily, and Maryse's eyes fluttered the moment, Luke spoke to her.

"Luke?" Maryse's voice wasn't more than a whisper and very hoarse, but Luke understood her anyway. "You found me."

"Sorry it took that long, Maryse," Luke answered, squeezing her hand, while he heard Ollie calling for an ambulance in the background. Maryse wryly smiled at him before she tried to sit up.

"Hey, keep it slow."

Luke gently pushed her back. And Maryse wasn't strong enough to fight it. 

"How are my children? Max, Izzy, Jace, and Alec...oh my Alec! I have to talk to him...," Marye murmured, clearly exhausted. Luke was sure that she, at least, was dehydrated.

"They're all doing good. Believe me. I'm in constant contact with them. But for now, Maryse, we will get you help, okay? I'll call your children as soon as we're on our way to the hospital. And you can meet them there, I promise."

Maryse nodded weakly, squeezing Luke's hand in a silent thank you.

"Robert?"

"He's imprisoned. And he will be for a long time."

"Good...by the Angel, that's good."

It took a while until the ambulance arrived. Maryse quickly got hooked to an IV, before she was brought to the same hospital, Magnus Bane had been transported to the previous day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter, leave a comment :)


	14. Chapter 14

Izzy and Jace carefully stepped into the room, Maryse was currently lying in. Luke had called them an hour ago, telling them that their mother had been brought to the hospital and that she was okay as far as he could tell. They'd talked to the doctor who treated her. She had many bruises, a few broken ribs, and had been dehydrated. But other than that, she would be fine.

"Mom?" Izzy asked warily the moment she saw her Mom lying there with her eyes closed. It didn't take Maryse long to open her eyes. 

"Isabelle, Jonathan! You're here!" She sat up carefully, her face grimaced in pain as she opened her arms for her children.

Izzy and Jace were fast to hug their Mom, though they tried to be as gentle as possible. They'd been super worried about her. Knowing that she was okay, or at least would be, brought relief to them. The only missing one was Max, but he would be back home within the next week, and both, Izzy and Jace couldn't wait for it. The Lightwood family had to work many things out because of everything that had happened lately. But they would manage, at least Izzy and Jace had their hopes high.

"Where's Alec? Is he okay?" Their mother asked them before they were even able to ask her if she was okay. Worry was written all over her face as she looked from Izzy to Jace.

"He will be, Mom, don't worry too much, at least for now, okay?"

"Is he hurt? Jace, Izzy...I need to know, please," Maryse almost begged, tears stinging in her eyes as she watched them intensely. 

"Dad hurt him...badly. But that happened some weeks ago, and he's really doing better now, I promise." Izzy answered as calmly as possible, smiling a little at her worried Mom. Izzy hadn't seen her worry about Alec for a long row, and she was glad to see that. "You have to worry about yourself, just for now, Mom," she added, but Maryse didn't want to hear any of it.

"I need to see him. I...I really need to see him. Can you call him? Please."

"We can do that. But you really need more rest, Mom. Whatever it is, it can wait a few more hours," Jace gently told her.

* * *

* * *

Magnus was sitting on his hospital bed, talking to Alec, who, of course, was still at his side, when the door to his room popped open, revealing a dark-skinned girl with curly hair.

"Magnus!" Madzie almost screamed the moment she saw him and made a beeline towards him, not paying any attention to Alec, who was watching the little girl surprisedly. Magnus couldn't help but grin at the sight of his adorable god-daughter.

"Madzie! I told you to take it slow!" Catarina's voice appeared from the doorframe, but Magnus had already opened his arms to his sweet godchild. He couldn't wait to have her in his arms. They hadn't seen each other for a while now, and Magnus always missed her a lot.

"But, I'm doing just that, Mom!" Madzie argued as she skillfully climbed up onto the bed and - a little bit slower this time - threw herself into Magnus' waiting embrace. Magnus couldn't help but chuckle at that as he kissed Madzie's forehead and carefully cradled her to his chest.

He had been in the hospital for two days now and felt a lot better. He was still hurting, but it wasn't as bad, as Magnus thought it would be. To be honest, Magnus couldn't wait to get out of that goddamn hospital and go back home. But with Madzie and Catarina visiting him, and with Alec at his side, it wasn't that bad. For now, at least.

"What a wonderful surprise," he finally exclaimed delightfully. "It's so good to see you, sweet Lady," Magnus told Madzie cheerfully. "And you too, of course, Cat," he added all smiles, as Catarina put a chair beside Alec's and sat down.

"Madzie couldn't wait until you're back home," Catarina shrugged, but yet smiled brightly at her daughter. Madzie was her pride and joy. Catarina just couldn't decline anything if Madzie begged long enough.

"That's just because I missed you so so much, Magnus. We haven't seen each other for such a long time!"

"I missed you too, sweetheart. I desperately wanted to have that pajama party with you this week, and I'm sorry that I'm not able to have that with you. But also, I want you to finally meet someone very special to me," Magnus gently told the six-year-old, who'd been too occupied with Magnus to realize Alec.

And very soon, Madzie curiously looked around the room, still cradled in Magnus' arms, when her eyes found Alec, who was smiling shyly at her.

"Hi," Alec said before he was interrupted by the little girl.

"Are you the man who told the doctors that you're Magnus' fiance?" Madzie asked Alec curiously before Magnus was able to introduce him. Madzie hat a big mouth on her, that was for sure.

"Aren't you lovely, Madzie?" Magnus hummed amusedly, taking in the sight of Alec. Yes, he was embarrassed, but it wasn't as bad as the first time, Magnus had heard from it.

* * *

* * *

_ "You did what?" Magnus asked Alec, his brows shooting up in surprise.  _

_ "It told you...it wasn't me...uhm...it was Izzy. She just wanted to help! I'm sorry," Alec answered, redness spreading from his cheeks into every direction possible. Alec's hand went to his neck, like always when he was ashamed, or trying to figure something out. _

_ "Oh, my dearest fiancé, you shouldn't be," Magnus answered amusedly, watching Alec's discomfort for a while before he started to chuckle. "It's okay, don't worry about that, darling! Izzy did nothing wrong...I wanted you with me," he gently told him, sitting up carefully to meet Alec's eyes.  _

_ "Would you look at me, Alexander?" Magnus asked him tenderly, bringing his hand over Alec's to squeeze it lovingly. Alec lifted his eyes, who were full of doubt. "I honestly don't care about it, okay? Neither you nor Izzy made me uncomfortable with it. It made it easier for you, and that's what's important," Magnus told him tenderly, squeezing Alec's hand once more. "I love you, Alexander, don't blame yourself for something like that." _

_ "I love you too, Magnus. It's just...I didn't want to upset you," Alec answered honestly. _

_ "You didn't, darling. I promise I'm not lying. Don't doubt yourself or Izzy's actions. It's fine, and I would've done the same." _

_ "Okay," Alec murmured, as he cracked a smile that now reached his beautiful eyes. _

_ "That's a lot better. You don't have to worry about that anymore, okay? I might will make some fun out of it, that's all. But I'm really not mad at all. Honored more so." _

_ Magnus smiled lovingly, leaning a bit forward to occupy Alec's lips in a tender kiss.  _

_ "I love you, Alexander," Magnus repeated as if to make sure that Alec really got him. _

_ "I love you too, Magnus," Alec whispered after they pulled apart. "And I got it. I won't worry about it anymore." _

_ "That's it!" _

* * *

* * *

Seeing Alec's reddened cheeks now, made Magnus chuckle once more.

"Well, I didn't want to leave your godfather's side so...," Alec answered to Magnus' surprise and shrugged as he smiled at Madzie. He seemed to be much more confident around children, and it was nice to see that side of Alec, too. Magnus couldn't wait to get to know Alec, now that he was finally free of his father. 

Magnus exchanged an amused look with Catarina and let Alec and Madzie be.

"That's super cool, do you know that?" Madzie said after a moment, all smiles. "I'm Madzie, by the way. What is your name?" Madzie asked then, all curious.

"I'm Alec. It's nice to finally meet you, Madzie."

"Will you join our pajama party when Magnus is doing better?"

"Only if you want me to, it's your special time with your godfather, and I wouldn't want to interrupt something."

Madzie smiled and turned around to face Magnus.

"Would you mind, if Alec joins us, Magnus? I think it'll be a lot of fun if he's with us."

"Of course, I wouldn't, but it depends on you, just like Alec said."

"Okay, it's settled then. Alec can join our pajama party." Madzie answered cheerfully, smiling at Magnus. She snuggled back against his side, and Magnus enjoyed every moment of it.

"Cool, thank you," Alec answered all smiles, and Magnus just cherished the view of him. 

Madzie and Alec talked for a while, both seeming to like each other a lot. Magnus couldn't tell how happy he was about it. Madzie was an essential part of his life, as well as Catarina, and he would've felt bad if one of them didn't like Alec. But just the opposite was the case, and Magnus couldn't be more relieved.

Catarina and Madzie stayed for another hour before they made their way home. Madzie even hugged Alec goodbye, making Magnus smile even broader.

When they were gone, Magnus carefully brought his feet out of bed.

"Let's grab a coffee?" He asked Alec, who nodded in agreement. Magnus was free to walk around in the hospital since he didn't need any infusions anymore.

Both men rose to their feet, and Magnus immediately grabbed Alec's hand, pulling him towards him.

"Madzie adores you," he hummed lovingly and planted a tender kiss on the corner of Alec's mouth, feeling the younger man's lip turning up into a genuine smile.

"I'm glad then," Alec murmured silently, though with a significant amount of happiness. "She's lovely," he added, as they slowly made their way out of Magnus' hospital room.

"That she ist. The sweetest little girl, I know," Magnus raved all smiles. He really loved that girl with all his being. And this unique love, Magnus knew, was similar. Madzie's love for Magnus always left him speechless. The love of a child was something special. Magnus knew her since the day she was born and couldn't wait for more years to come.

"Is that Izzy and Jace?" Alec's voice interrupted his fortunate emotions, and Magnus started to focus on the two people who just left a hospital room a few meters away from them. 

"That's them," Magnus agreed then, a little confused. "Is someone else here, they're visiting?" He asked Alec, who shook his head.

"I don't know who that could be. But we'll find out now," Alec thoughts as they made their way to Izzy and Jace.

"Hey, guys, did you forget where Magnus' room is?" Alec greeted his siblings, smiling happily to see them.

"Alec...Magnus, wow, hey," Izzy greeted them, her face more worried than happy to see them. Magnus wondered instantly what was going on there. His eyes wandered to the door, Alec's siblings had stepped out from.

"We didn't plan on seeing you right now," Jace said lamely, not meeting Magnus' or Alec's eyes.

"Okay...you're acting weird. What's wrong? Come on, guys," Alec stated. Magnus could feel the grip increasing on his hand as Alec spoke. He could tell that Alec was uncomfortable with the way his siblings acted around him.

Izzy sighed. She was tired, Magnus could tell that. 

"Okay, Alec. Don't freak out now. Promise me. We haven't told you everything lately. But...Max and Mom had been missing for a while. And Detective Garroway just found them. Max is okay, but Mom...she's in there," Alec's sister explained. Magnus raised a brow. Okay, that actually was something. Bending his head a little to look at Alec, he found the other man's expression troublesome.

* * *

* * *

"What?" 

Alec was left speechless. He didn't even know what to say. Knowing that his little brother was alright brought joy to him, and also a feeling of guilt, though. He hadn't thought about Max for a while now, being too occupied with his father's actions. And with Magnus, of course. Alec instantly felt sorry. He would make it up to his little brother that was for sure. If Max wanted to, at least.

And his mother? Well, she hadn't been there for him his whole life, so there was no need for Alec to think about her. That was what brought him to his following question.

"I don't know what's going on here, but why should I know that Mom's in that room? I'm glad that Max is alright, though. I'd like to see him...if he wants to," Alec said, still fearing his little brother's rejection.

"We will catch him from the airport and call you then, I'm sure Max wants to see his big brother. But back to Mom...she wants to see you, Alec." Izzy encouragingly told him, reaching out a hand for him, but Alec refused. "She's asking for you all the time."

"I don't want to see her."

"But, Alec..."

"No. I don't want to. Period."

Alec didn't know this stubborn side of him. But he'd currently realized how much it helped him to stand by his words.

"Okay...just...think about it," Jace said, but Alec was already dragging Magnus away from his siblings. His heart was beating vigorously against his chest. Alec needed to get away from this place, away from his mother, as fast as possible.

"Alexander," Magnus squeezed his hand after a few moments. "Alexander, take it slow please," he added, bringing Alec to an abrupt halt. He turned around to face Magnus, who indeed had a painful expression on his face. Instantly, Alec felt guilty for his childish behavior.

"Magnus...sorry...by the Angels, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Don't worry about that, darling. Let's just walk a little bit slower now, alright? I'm not fast to admit something, but I'm not ready yet to run," Magnus smiled understandingly at him. And though Alec felt regretful for his terrible behavior, he managed to nod and cracked a little smile at Magnus.

"Let's grab our coffee. And if you want, we'll talk about what's going on in that beautiful head of yours," Magnus suggested. He was so understanding, it brought tears to Alec's eyes.

"Okay," he managed to answer, blinking the tears away. They made their way to the cafeteria, and both ordered a coffee. Magnus guided them to a corner, where they sat down together.

Both men said nothing for a while, Alec was glad about the silence, at least for this moment. His mind was racing. Alec didn't want to think about his Mom. 

But it seemed like he had no other choice.

"Alexander, do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what to say, Magnus," Alec answered hoarsely and also honestly. "I..." He started once more but stopped talking. Alec just didn't know how to explain the feelings he had towards his mother.

"Am I allowed to ask you a few questions then?" Magnus asked Alec then, squeezing his hand in the afford to get back the other man's attention. It was then that Alec looked at Magnus, seeing worry written all over his face. And once more, Alec felt terrible for his behavior. Magnus was the one who was in the hospital, the one who had been stabbed. And somehow, Magnus knew exactly what Alec was thinking about.

"It's okay, darling. You know that I feel a lot better. And you also know that I want you to feel good, too, right?"

"Yes...I know that...it's just...I bothered you so much lately. And I was happy that it was over. That we can just...you know...be normal. And now...now my Mom's here."

"The thing is that you didn't bother me, Alexander. And believe me, there will be a time when I'm in your place, and you will have to listen to me and my problems. I can assure you that I have some bad days too."

Alec listened carefully, observing Magnus' face while the other man talked and then nodded hesitantly. 

"Okay...fine. Ask then." He had so many mixed emotions when it came to his mother. Maybe it was easier for him to start talking if Magnus would ask him some questions. At least, Magnus always found the right words, without making Alec uncomfortable.

"Thank you, Alexander. So...the most uncomfortable question first. Did your mother do the same things your father did?"

"No...no, she didn't. But I believe she knew and...," Alec started, but stopped then for a moment. He took a deep breath, relieved that Magnus gave him this time. "But she didn't do anything against his behavior. She looked away. She didn't help me."

"You believe that. But you don't know it properly, right?"

"That's true...but...I, uhm, I don't know how to explain it adequately...when my father came to...to threaten me, mother always left the room, without a word. But...as a mother...aren't they supposed to protect their children?"

"They are darling, they absolutely are. But...knowing how complicated a relationship can be...there might be something behind it. Something you can just find out if you ask your mother."

"I don't know if I can," Alec admitted. He desperately wanted to hear from his mother that she cared about him, no matter his sexual orientation. But they'd never had a base, like Izzy or Jace and her. His mother always had been distant, like she didn't care about him at all. And the hurt about all of this was still prominent. Alec hadn't experienced a mother's love, no matter how badly he wanted her to hug him, to protect him from his father. But he also had never found the courage to ask her for help either...so...maybe Magnus had a point.

"I told you about my mother, Alexander. And let me just say one thing. If I could get a second chance with my mother, I'm sure I would take it without any doubt. There's a reason why your mother wants to talk to you. Just think about it, that's all I'm asking for, okay?"

Alec listened to Magnus. He really did. And maybe, Magnus was right. But Alec needed some more time to think. 

"I can't decide it right now."

"You don't have to. Take your time. And if you want to talk about it, tell me. I'm here for you, darling."

Magnus reassuringly smiled at him, squeezing his hand tenderly. 

"We're in this together, Alexander. You don't have to do anything on your own. I will always be there for you."

"Okay...thank you, Magnus. Thank you so much."

Alec cracked a smile at Magnus, leaning a bit forward to press a gentle kiss on the other man's lips. He felt proud of himself for being able to do this in public. "I love you," he added whisperingly, feeling a lot better now. Yet, many things were on his mind. But he knew, with Magnus at his side, it would be okay. Magnus grounded him, he made his life more comfortable, he could cope better with all the things around him.

"As I love you, Alexander. Thank you for trusting me."

"I do trust you more than anyone else, Magnus. You don't have to thank me for it."

"It's an honor to have your trust, believe me. And I do want to thank you for that gift every day anew." 

Alec's heart fluttered at these words and the sincere smile, Magnus gave him.

"I hope it will be similar one day," Alec shyly answered. He, too, wanted to be the one person, Magnus could trust with everything.

"Oh, darling. My dearest Alexander. I do trust you with all my heart. Don't doubt it, okay?"

Alec saw the honesty in Magnus' eyes, and he just couldn't stop himself from believing Magnus. 

"Okay. I guess we've been too occupied with my problems. I didn't realize I have it," Alec admitted shyly. He was relieved to know that Magnus trusted him as much as Alec did.

"There will come a time when you will recognize it, darling. I assure you." Magnus smiled at him with so much love in his almost golden eyes. Alec held his breath for a moment. Knowing that someone loved him the way he was brought tears to his eyes.

"I do believe you anyway," Alec hoarsely answered, returning Magnus smile.

"I know, Alexander. Let's head back, okay? I still have to talk some sense into my doctor," Magnus grinned cheekily, making Alec chuckle in amusement.

"When he says that you have to stay here for a few more days, you should do just that," Alec answered, knowing that Magnus wouldn't take this.

"But I'm fine. And I hate hospitals. There is no reason for me to stay here much longer. And, more so, I have a competent nurse to look after me if needed. And, most importantly, I have you at my side if I need help. I miss you. I miss our cuddles. Period."

Alec was sure he hadn't seen this before, but a light blush appeared on Magnus' cheeks, and he averted his eyes for a moment as if he'd overstepped something.

"I miss you too, Magnus. I can't tell you how much," Alec just answered, smiling at him, when he brought his eyes back to Alec's. "And sleeping will be much better when you're back home."

The smile he received at these words was everything to Alec at that moment. The problems with his mother's appearance entirely forgotten for the moment, Alec returned Magnus smile affectionately.

"Let's talk some sense into your doctor then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfew I didn't thought I would be able to post today, but here we are!  
I hope you like the new chapter, please leave a comment and let me know ♥  
Stay safe, and healthy!


	15. Chapter 15

Magnus was lucky enough to convince his doctor to release him the following morning. Alec picked him up right after breakfast, both of them couldn't wait to be back home together.   
Magnus had made sure that Alec would come with Magnus' car. He didn't mind if Alec would use it too until he would find a vehicle for himself. Of course, Alec had been unsure at first, but Magnus had managed and convinced him. It had taken him quite a while to do so. Alec could be quite stubborn, and Magnus loved to experience that side of him as well.   
Usually, he didn't mind taking a taxi or using the subway. But Magnus just wanted to get home as fast as possible. He hadn't been wearing make-up, nor made his hair. Besides, Magnus had no outfit to wear to walk around the city. There was no way for him to do that the way he looked. And yes, Magnus knew that it was bullshit. He'd been stabbed, had lost a high amount of blood, besides his surgery that had happened three days ago. And yes, he had every right to look the way he did. But Magnus couldn't help himself for being a bit vain when it came to his style.  
"But you look beautiful. With make-up and your hair done or without," Alec had tried to argue, blushing as he complimented him. And Magnus indeed was sure that Alec meant what he'd said, and he believed him. But Magnus didn't feel like it, and to his luck, Alec had given in after a while.  
Being back home now, Magnus sighed happily and went straight to the kitchen in the afford to make himself a latte macchiato. The coffee at the hospital was far from good, and Magnus couldn't wait to have a proper one.  
"Hey, let me do that for you," Alec suggested as he came back out of the bedroom, where he'd put Magnus' bag.   
"You don't have to, darling. I'm all good," Magnus answered as he turned his head and smiled tenderly at Alec.   
"I know you are, but I'm sure you also want a shower. I can make coffee awhile. Only if you want to, of course," Alec suggested. Magnus nodded a little and turned around to face his dearest Alexander.  
"Thank you, Alexander. I will take a shower then and freshen up a little."  
"Take your time, okay?" Alec smiled softly at Magnus, making his heart flutter. Alec would be the death of him, and they hadn't even had sex. If he was able to make him feel so many things with just a single smile, Magnus didn't want to think about what was to come.  
"Of course, I will. But first, I really need a kiss from that wonderful human being in front of me. Dou you think it's possible?" Magnus asked lightly, stepping towards Alec, with a smile. Alec still managed to blush adorably as soon as Magnus complimented him, and he hoped that would never change. Magnus loved to see the impact a simple sharing of affection had on Alec.  
"Yeah...I guess it's manageable," Alec answered, returning Magnus smile as he put his hands on Magnus' waist.   
Alec was getting better so much with words. Weeks ago, he'd simply blushed and stuttered something. Magnus felt so lucky to see the improvement, Alec had made in such a short amount of time. Also, he was getting more and more confident with his actions, and that was something Magnus honestly enjoyed too. He'd always loved to get touched or to show affection. And it seemed to be likewise with Alec. Magnus hadn't had something like that before.   
And if felt incredibly great.  
Magnus hummed contentedly and lifted his head in the afford to kiss Alec, who met him halfway. Alec was a little bit taller than himself, and Magnus really liked that as well. He was sure there would never be something about Alec, Magnus didn't like.   
Magnus still felt the butterflies in his stomach as soon as their lips met. And no matter the way the kiss turned out. That also was something, Magnus was sure he'd never felt before. And oh boy, he'd had many lovers in earlier years, male or female. None of them could compare to what he felt for Alec. And they knew each other only for a few weeks. It scared the shit out of Magnus, but he also really wanted to explore the relationship with Alec.  
"Go, take your shower," Alec whispered into their kiss, and Magnus nodded in agreement. But not before stealing another kiss from Alec.  
"I just can't get enough of you, darling. Now that I have you all on my own again," he murmured, before taking a step back. Magnus still feared that Alec would leave him if he was too clingy. To be too much for him to take and had to force himself to get rid of these feelings. To be all himself. That wasn't easy.   
Magnus had acted a lot when together with people he adored. The only exception was Catarina and Madzie. Well, and Alec. Magnus desperately wanted to make everything right for once.  
"The feeling is mutual," Alec admitted shyly, ducking his head a little as he said so, his cheeks blushing. He brought a hand to his neck, rubbing over the skin, and Magnus just couldn't help but smile brightly at this sight. Oh, and at Alec's words too, of course. Magnus couldn't tell how happy he was to hear that Alec felt the same way.   
"I'm honestly delighted to hear that, Alexander," he said with a tender smile, watching Alec's expression for a moment. Magnus brought his hand to Alec's cheek, caressing the warmed skin tenderly. "It makes me so happy to see how far you've come in the past few weeks."  
"Thank you," Alec murmured, leaning into Magnus' touch as he closed his eyes for a moment. "Most of the credit goes to you, though." The other man added as he opened his eyes again to look at Magnus. It was then that he realized how tired Alec appeared. Magnus would ask him after his shower if something was wrong. For now, Alec seemed to be as happy as Magnus was.  
"I don't think so, darling. I just encouraged you, everything else was your doing. And I'm so proud of you," Magnus answered silently, even if no one was around to listen. "And I hope that you are proud, too," he murmured, once again stepping closer to Alec. Magnus just couldn't help himself.  
"I'm working on it," Alec answered honestly. He brought his arms around Magnus' body and hugged him tightly. Alec needed closeness as much as Magnus did. And Magnus thoroughly enjoyed that. He also brought his arms around Alec's body, leaning against the taller man for a moment. "But thank you anyway...for your encouragement and everything else," Alec whispered, and Magnus squeezed him gently.   
"You're more than welcome, Alexander, I can assure you."  
"I know, but I just want to tell you that I don't take it for granted what you're doing for me." Alec firmly said, pulling away a little to look at Magnus. And what Magnus saw there were so much honesty and affection, it made his heart stutter.  
"I know. But thank you anyway for saying it," Magnus answered. He planted another tender kiss on Alec's lips, smiling at the other man. "I really appreciate it."  
"That's good."  
When they finally were able to pull apart, Magnus made his way over to the bathroom to take his shower. He removed his clothes and faced a problem he hadn't thought about. Magnus had to protect his stabbing wound from the water.   
The stitches were still holding his skin together, and Catarina had told him to be careful about it.  
"Shit," Magnus murmured, looking around the bathroom in the afford to find something to protect his skin, only to find a package with some waterproof plasters. It was placed so that Magnus had to find it.   
A smile crossed Magnus' face when he realized that Alec had got them for him. He would thank Alec later for them.   
Applying one of the plasters, Magnus stepped into the shower.

* * *

* * *

Alec was waiting patiently for Magnus to get ready. He knew the other man would take his time, and Alec didn't mind at all. Magnus always took some more time to shower and to make himself presentable, how he always used to say.  
And while Magnus did that, Alec prepared something to eat and got their coffee ready. A latte macchiato for Magnus and a plain black coffee for him. Alec was just about to put it on the table when Magnus sauntered back into the kitchen, a relaxed and happy smile on his face. Alec watched him for a moment, quietly adoring Magnus' sight. He'd put some make-up on, but just a light touch compared to normally. Magnus' hair was styled, and he was dressed in comfortable, yet stylish clothes. He was the most beautiful human being in Alec's eyes.  
"You look great," Alec said, smiling at Magnus. He was more comfortable giving and receiving compliments. He still blushed, but in front of Magnus', Alec didn't really mind.  
"Why, thank you, Alexander. I feel a lot better now. And thank you for buying those waterproof plasters. I haven't thought about that," Magnus answered gratefully as he took a seat on his usual place. He took a sip of his macchiato and sighed delightfully. "Ah, I missed that."  
"Glad you like it," Alec answered, taking a sip from his coffee by himself.  
"You're spoiling me, of course, I like that. Who wouldn't?" Magnus asked cheerfully, bringing a smile onto Alec's face.   
"That's good to know," he simply answered. Alec always enjoyed taking care of the people he loved. He'd done that for Jace, Izzy, and Max since he could remember. And he loved to be able to do that for Magnus now, as well.  
They talked for a while as they ate and drank their coffee. After that, Alec and Magnus decided to have a little walk in the nearby park, for it was a too beautiful day to stay inside.   
They walked hand-in-hand and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. Neither of them said a word for a long time, leaving Alec thinking about his mother for a while. His mind had been occupied with her all night. He hadn't really slept, but Alec knew that he couldn't avoid the topic that was his mother. And walking beside Magnus now had brought him to a conclusion. He would talk to her. But he wouldn't do it without Magnus.  
"Magnus?"  
"Hm?" Magnus hummed, bending his head a little, to be able to look at Alec.   
"Would you join me when I listen to my mother?" Alec hesitantly asked. He wasn't ashamed anymore to ask Magnus for help.   
Alec knew that Magnus wanted that. He just didn't want to take too much. And Alec didn't know if he'd already reached his limit.  
"If you want me to, of course. So you've decided to talk to your mother? Is that why you look so tired?"  
"Yeah...I haven't really slept. But only if it's not too much for you. I...I don't want to take too much. I just thought about listening to her first...I don't know if I can talk to her, actually."  
"It's not too much if I just have to listen, darling. Don't worry about that. Nothing you've asked for so far has been too much for me. And I think that it's great if you want to listen to her point of view. It will help you."  
"Okay," Alec answered, smiling a little as he gratefully looked at Magnus. "But if it is at any point, promise to tell me, please," he added. Alec would never want Magnus to feel like he would just take.  
"I will, darling. Don't overthink it, okay?"  
Alec nodded in response. He knew Magnus wouldn't lie to him, and that was enough for him to know. He trusted him like no one else.  
They decided to wait until the afternoon to visit Alec's mother. Alec just didn't want to wait until tomorrow. He was afraid that he would change his mind about his decision. And deep inside him, Alec knew that he needed to know what his mother had to say before he finally could close this chapter.  
Time went by too quickly for his taste, and soon, Alec found himself back in the hospital in front of his mother's room.  
He didn't know how long they were standing there until Magnus squeezed his hand tenderly, bringing Alec back to the present.  
"Are you really sure about that?" Magnus asked him silently, sympathetically so. Alec honestly wasn't, might never be. But he had no other choice.  
"I have to if I want to look forward. And that's all I want. I have to get those things out of my mind. And my mother...she's one of the things," Alec answered honestly.  
Magnus encouragingly squeezed his hand once more.   
"I'm always at your side, Alexander. Just give me a sign, and we'll leave," he said, making Alec smile as he gratefully looked at Magnus. What did he do to deserve such an incredible human being at his side?  
"Thank you," he murmured, planting a tender kiss on Magnus' lips before he turned around again and knocked at the door. Alec took a deep breath and waited a second before he opened it and stepped inside the room.  
"Alec? Alec, oh my God!"   
Alec, once inside the room, came to an abrupt halt as he heard his mother's voice. She sat up in her bed and swung her legs out of it. Alec could see that she was in pain, could see the fainting bruises, but at the moment, he couldn't really care about it. To be honest, if it hadn't been for Magnus, Alec would have left the room straight away.  
"M..mother," Alec managed to say after a moment, holding Magnus' hand in a firm grip, hoping he wouldn't hurt him. But Alec desperately needed the contact.  
"Alec, are you alright?" Maryse asked him, throwing a curious glance at Magnus. Alec saw that and decided to ignore the question to answer the one she didn't ask.  
"Mother...that's Magnus, Magnus Bane. My...my boyfriend," he stuttered, trying to look more confident than he felt. He blushed heavily at the words he said but didn't regret them.   
They had told each other their love, yes.   
But neither of them had introduced the other at his boyfriend.   
Until now.   
Alec knew that Magnus would never have a problem with it, but it felt so real, saying it out loud. Well, it felt perfect. Alec risked a look at Magnus, who smiled at him, obviously touched by his words, before bringing his attention to Alec's mother.  
"It's good to meet you, Mrs. Lightwood."  
"It's...nice to meet you too, Mr. Bane." Maryse looked him up and down, but yet, she managed a smile, even if it was just a little one.  
"Oh, it's just Magnus, but only if that's okay for you," Magnus answered cheerfully, smiling gently at Alec's mom. And Alec would've loved to be able to act like Magnus, he just wasn't able to.  
"Oh...well, yes. Yes, of course. I'm Maryse then," Alec's mother answered, this time genuinely smiling at Magnus, clearly more relaxed now that Magnus was so friendly towards her.   
"Nice to meet you then, Maryse," Magnus gently answered, guiding Alec to the chairs to sit down. "We heard you wanted to talk to Alexander," he started the conversation helpfully, bringing Maryse's attention back to her son.  
"Alec, yes. I really wanted to apologize. Alec, I didn't know what your father was doing with you until I found his notes a few weeks ago."  
Alec so badly wanted to believe his mother. He had hoped for these words for so such a long time. But all he managed was to snort. He'd been abused by his father over so many years, and his mother tried to tell him that she hadn't realized it? Yeah. Sure.  
"I know you probably don't believe me. You've gone through so much in all those years. And I've been such a sorry excuse of a mother. Your father had always made sure that I would avoid you. And I'm so, so sorry that I did what he told me. I was afraid, too. That's no excuse at all, and I know that. But Alec. If I could turn back time..." Maryse started rambling, but Alec impatiently cut her off.  
"You would do everything differently, right?" Alec snapped at her. He honestly just wanted to listen to her, but the things she was telling him brought back so many painful memories. He'd needed his mother so badly, and she hadn't been there for him. Period.  
"I would," Maryse answered genuinely in a silent voice, sighing as she realized how upset Alec was with her. She looked at him with sad eyes. "I know you don't believe me. How could you? I haven't been a mother for you in all those years. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness. To let me try and be a mother for you. I know it might be too late for that, but maybe...only if you want, of course, you can think about it."  
Alec didn't know what to say at those words. His mother wanted to be in his life. He stared at her for a long while, not able to say a word.  
"You don't have to say anything, Alec. It's alright. Just...just think about it. I don't want you to make a decision right now...I just...I needed to see you. I didn't know if you were alright, after what your father did to you. Izzy and Jace told me everything about the accident and what happened before. You've gone through so much..." Maryse broke off, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm so sorry, Alec," she added, brokenly. Alec's eyes stung with tears as he listened to her.   
"Could you just...stop apologizing," he finally answered in a hoarse voice. Alec couldn't bear one more apology from her.  
"Of course...I'm...of course," Maryse answered silently, nodding a little.  
"Okay. I...I can't promise anything," Alec answered honestly. He just desperately wanted to leave this room. But not before he knew one more thing. "Did...did he hurt you too?" Alec asked silently, averting his eyes from his mother's gaze.  
"That's okay. Of course. I wanted to see you, and you seem to be...happy. It's nice to know that you have found someone. Honestly, Alec. I'm happy for you," his mother answered, making Alec crack a slight smile that didn't reach his eyes yet. "To answer your question. Yes, he did. But that shouldn't be a problem of yours. You have enough to work through."  
Alec, indeed, felt sorry knowing that his mother had been abused by his father as well. He looked at her for a brief moment, seeing the truth in her whole expression. She didn't want to burden him, but now that Alec knew, he wanted to hear everything.  
"Just...just since you found out?" He asked then, really surprised by his own words. Alec felt Magnus' encouragingly squeezing his hand.  
"More since then. But Alec, this shouldn't be your business."  
"But it is. It makes it easer...uhm...understanding why you did, what you did," Alec answered. He needed to understand why his mother had acted the way she did. Alec always had thought that his mother didn't love him, but that just didn't seem to be true.  
"He used to hurt me from time to time since our wedding. Apologized after. I accepted his apologies. But it happened regularly. When I found his notes about you a few weeks ago and confronted him, it became worse. He brought me to our old cabin, chained me to a bed, and send Max away. He hurt me, made me promise to not tell anyone. I couldn't do that, so he beat me more. A few days ago, he stopped coming by. Luke...Officer Garroway...he found me two days ago. Izzy and Jace filled me in to what had happened."  
Alec listened to what his mother was telling him. He felt sorry for her. But he couldn't give her a reaction for now.   
However, Magnus could.  
"I'm genuinely sorry that this happened to you, Maryse," he empathetically said.   
"Thank you. It's in the past now. And most importantly, most of it was my fault. I should've stood up for myself, and if not for myself, then for my son. But I can't change that, now that it happened. And it hurts more than any hit, Robert gave me."  
Alec saw Magnus nodding in understanding, felt him squeezing his hand once more.  
"I...I will think about it. But I...can we leave now, please?" He bent his head to look at Magnus. Alec just needed to get some fresh air to clear his thoughts.  
"Of course, darling," Magnus smiled encouragingly at him and rose to his feet, followed by Alec.   
"Thank you for coming by, Alec," Maryse simply said, not judging her son for his sudden wish to leave the room.  
Alec only nodded before he forced out a "goodbye" to his mother. And before she was able to say anything else, Alec left the room, followed by Magnus. Alec shut the door behind them and exhaled a breath, he didn't realize he was holding. He was still holding Magnus' hand in a firm grip. Loosening the grasp a little, Alec felt himself relaxing.  
"Are you okay, Alexander?" Magnus silently asked beside him, and Alec felt himself nodding.  
"Yeah...I think so. She just gave me a lot to think about," Alec answered honestly.  
"True, true," Magnus answered, tenderly pulling Alec towards him. Alec followed, enjoying the warm embrace of Magnus' arms. He brought his arms around Magnus' waist, hugging him close.  
"Let's get home, alright?" Alec silently asked, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Magnus' neck for a moment.  
"Let's do that. Any wishes for the rest of the day?" Magnus asked empathetically, though he was the one who should rest, he gave more priority to Alec's needs. Alec realized that, so he asked for a simple thing, that would include some rest for Magnus.  
"Watching a movie?" Alec asked as he pulled away to look at his boyfriend. "Or do you want to do something else?"  
"Not something else," Magnus began. "I'd like to watch a movie with you, but I also really like to catch up on some cuddles, that okay?" He asked with a grin, making Alec chuckle.  
"More than okay," he agreed, how could he deny something like that?  
"And if you want to talk about your mother..." Magnus began, but Alec interrupted him.  
"I will, I promise," Alec assured, earning a smile from Magnus.   
"Alright then, let's get home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ♥ Pls let me know, I appreciate every kudo & every comment ♥  
Pajama party with Madzie in the next chapter, who's excited? :)


	16. Chapter 16

A few weeks later, Magnus was all back to his usual self. He went back to work regularly and spent his days off with Alec. 

Now that Alec's father was imprisoned, they felt free to do whatever they wanted. They watched movies in a cinema or went for some ice-cream, or just for a walk. Whatever they wanted. But what left Magnus very fortunate was that Alec went to the Archery center every week. Alec seemed so much happier having his hobby back. Sometimes, Magnus used to join his archer, watching him, as his muscles flexed and relaxed as he shot arrow after arrow. His Alexander was a feast for Magnus' eyes. And time went by too quickly on those occasions. 

Magnus also started to do some dancing again, after Cat gave him her thumbs up. Alec joined him there too, from time to time, and Magnus loved to have Alec watching him. He tried dancing, as well on their first visit to Magnus' dancing center. But it turned out that he had two left feet. Alec was really embarrassed about it, but Magnus really didn't mind. He had other qualities, and that was quite alright with Magnus. But Alec was determined to learn it. And so, Magnus decided to give him personal lessons at some point, starting with slow dancing. Preferably when they were alone, so that Alec didn't need to worry about anyone watching them.

Magnus thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Alec in any way. He was more carefree now, laughed a lot more. As if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. And Magnus loved to see him that way, that's what he'd always wanted for Alec. 

For his  _ boyfriend _ . 

It felt so good to be in an official relationship with such a handsome and caring man. Magnus didn't remember being so overwhelmingly happy at any point in his life. Alexander cared so much about his well-being that Magnus' heart clenched every time anew. He wasn't used to something like that, and he had a hard time accepting it. Alec hadn't realized that by now, or so he assumed, Magnus had become quite good at hiding.

Magnus had always been the one to spoil his partners. He'd always loved to do that, as well as his partners had loved being taken care of. But at some point, it had become too much for them. Always. Magnus had become too much to endure. And that was when they left him. Not before they broke him, of course. Magnus' heart had been broken so many times, he'd lost count at some point. He knew he was a lot to get used to. 

Having Alec now, who showed him every day, how mattering Magnus was to him, was so astonishing. But also very scary. Having that just to get it taken again would leave Magnus more heartbroken than ever before.

Nevertheless, Magnus couldn't help to feel himself starting to relax more and more. He was getting more confident in their relationship, as he realized that Alec didn't intend to leave him by now. That it seemed to be quite the opposite. Though Magnus hadn't told Alec anything about his emotional baggage, yet. He hadn't wanted to bother him when Alec was dealing with his own fears. Things were different now, and Magnus knew he would tell Alec at some point. It was vital for him to be completely honest with Alexander. But for now, Magnus just wanted to enjoy what he and Alec had.

And Alec?

He'd started to look out for jobs that would fit into his new life. He'd always loved to read books. To disappear into the story, when things became too much for him to take. It regularly had been his safe haven since Alec had been able to read.

And his dream, to at some point having a book store to call his own, was still there. So the decision was made quickly. He would look for a job in a bookstore. Preferably a small one. But all in all, Alec couldn't wait to have a job, to have work on his hands. 

Magnus supported him all the way, and Alec was so grateful for everything he did. Alec didn't know what he did to deserve such a wonderful man at his side, but he'd promised himself to make sure to cherish Magnus every day. That was what Magnus deserved and nothing less. 

Alec was sure Magnus didn't realize it, but he could see the surprise in Magnus' eyes every time, Alec did something nice for him. As if Magnus wasn't used to something like that. He even felt that from time to time, Magnus hesitated, as if being afraid of something. He didn't know what it was, but Alec was determined to wait patiently for Magnus to fully open up to him. Magnus had done the same thing for him, so it was a given that Alec would stick it out.

The only thing that bothered him was that they hadn't had sex until now. They had heavy make-out sessions regularly, but Alec always started to panic as soon as things got more intense. He still was afraid of his father's voice when it came to sex. Alec hadn't heard his father's voice since the day Magnus got stabbed, that was true. But he didn't want that to happen again. All he wanted was to be normal. To be able to enjoy that part of their relationship as well.

Magnus always reassured him, made sure that he wasn't angry or disappointed. That he enjoyed everything, Alec was willing to give. And he believed Magnus' words, but yet, Alec started to get impatient with himself. He didn't want to go to a therapist, that was for sure. He couldn't talk to anyone but Magnus about this problem. So Alec browsed through the internet in the hope of finding something or someone to help him. And he did. Alec would talk to Magnus about it, hoping to do the right thing.

Alec had even started to talk to his mom. Only a few times since he'd visited her in the hospital, but it was a commencement. Alec had decided to try to start anew with his mother. It wasn't straightforward, but Alec believed his mother. And she worked on their relationship as well, she sent him text messages every day, making sure that he was alright. It hadn't been easy to accept the effort she was making, but Alec tried his best. And somehow, it worked. Alec became more and more comfortable with his mother. He even started to like their banter. They had more in common than Alec thought they had.

Alec and Max met weekly since he was back from Los Angeles. Gladly, Robert hadn't hurt his youngest son. Alec had been thoroughly nervous, telling his younger brother that he was gay and in a relationship with Magnus. But Max had accepted it without a second thought. He and Magnus came around pretty well also. And that was what brought a final relief to Alec. Being entirely accepted by his family left him thoroughly peaceful. All these years, his father had lied to him. Alec decided not to mourn the loss of those years but to cherish the fact that he could now have everything he'd ever wanted. 

Izzy and Jace still came by regularly, sometimes all together with Clary and Simon. They also met up at cafes or restaurants. Alec had never felt that before, but it was fun, hanging around with them. He'd never grown fond of Clary very much, but lately, it wasn't that bad. Maybe because Alec finally could be all himself. He didn't think about it too much. Alec had decided to not question it. And Simon? Well yeah...he was something different. Alec didn't know how to take him, and Magnus used to love making fun of him, calling him by every name starting with an "S" but Simon. Simon didn't seem to mind that very much, and Alec had so much fun listening to Magnus' newest names every time Simon came for a visit.

But today, they weren't looking for jobs. They also wouldn't meet Alec's siblings. 

Today would be all about Madzie and the pajama party they would have all together. Magnus was doing some groceries to make sure that all of Madzie's favorite foods and drinks would be there. Alec had realized quickly, that Magnus loved to spoil his godchild rotten when she was with them.

"I can't help it, she's adorable. You met her, darling. And I might've heard the same words from that pretty mouth of yours. You will see it when she's with us. You just cannot deny her anything," Magnus had answered cheerfully, once Alec had called him on that fact. Alec couldn't help but smile at that. Magnus really loved his godchild with every fiber of his heart. And as far as Alec could tell, Madzie loved her godfather just as much. He was very much looking forward to spending a whole day with Madzie, to get to know her better. And hers and Magnus' relationship as well. 

Alec was a little nervous, though he knew how to get along with kids. He'd often taken care of his siblings when they were younger and remembered a few games they'd played. But things were different with Madzie. And even though Alec knew that she liked him, he couldn't help being nervous.

"You'll do just fine, Alexander. Madzie really likes you, I can assure you. She can't wait to spend her time with both of us. And I have to admit that Madzie was, indeed, very particular when it came to the people I've been together with. Well, until you," Magnus told him encouragingly, before kissing him tenderly. "You see, there's no need to worry, darling."

"Thanks...I guess it's an honor then," Alec answered with a shy smile, indeed reassured by Magnus' words.

"It is," Magnus agreed on Alec's words. "Come on, let's get ready for our visitor."

They had a few things to prepare. The guest room, for example. Magnus always got it ready, even though Madzie invariably ended up at his bed, cuddling with her godfather until she would fall asleep. But Magnus wanted to give Madzie an option, just in case she wouldn't want to spend the night at Magnus' bed, and Alec had to move out for one night. He would gladly give up his place in the bed for Madzie, though Alec already knew how much he would miss Magnus at his side. They hadn't slept without each other for a while now, and Alec really loved it, to share a bed with Magnus.

They spent the morning cleaning up the living room, where they wanted to watch a movie with the little girl in the evening. Madzie would come in the late afternoon before Cat had to start her shift at the hospital. Magnus was beaming the whole morning, humming silently. He obviously couldn't wait for Madzie to come.

"Any wishes for lunch?" Alec asked him as they sat down on the couch about an hour later. His stomach was growling loudly, making Magnus chuckle.

"Breakfast isn't that long ago, Alexander," he answered amusedly, leaning his head against Alec's shoulder. Shivers ran up and down Alec's spine at that simple gesture. He loved how carefree Magnus was. "How about sandwiches?" Magnus asked then, bending his head up a little, to look at Alec, who tenderly placed his arm around his shoulder. 

"Too long if you ask my stomach," Alec answered, smiling at Magnus. A blush appeared on his cheeks as soon as he saw the affection in Magnus' eyes. Would he ever get used to this?

"But some sandwiches sound good to me. Shall I make us some?" He asked then, tilting his head to press a soft kiss on Magnus' lips.

"Sure, darling, if you don't mind?" Magnus asked after passionately responding to Alec's kiss. "I'll get us some drinks," he offered, and Alec nodded in agreement.

It took them quite a while to get up from their comfortable cuddling position, but somehow they made it to the kitchen to get their lunch finished.

After lunch, Alec and Magnus spent some time on the couch, watching some of Magnus' favorite shows, while Alec used to read a book. While Alec used to sit, Magnus laid down, placing his head on Alec's lap. Alec enjoyed it immensely, having Magnus close. 

They didn't need to talk, they just enjoyed each other's company a lot.

Soon, it was time for Madzie's arrival, and of course, Cat brought her on the settled time.

"Magnus! Alec!" Madzie cheerfully greeted them as soon as they opened the door. Giving both of them a big hug, she started chatting immediately. "I brought my favorite movie, can we watch it together?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Today is all about you," Magnus agreed joyfully.

"Oh, don't spoil her too much, Magnus," Cat told them earnestly after hugging both Magnus and Alec, too. "You know you don't have to agree on everything." She tried to keep her expression solemn, but Alec could tell that Cat was only joking. 

"As if I would spoil my lovely godchild. I beg you, Catarina," Magnus exclaimed, though a little dramatically, winking at Madzie, who, of course, was on her godfather's side. 

"Magnus would never do that, mom," she jumped in, making both, Catarina and Alec smile in amusement. 

"For that, you were way too excited to sleep at Magnus and Alec's," Cat jokingly argued, bringing her daughter in for a big bear hug.

"Listen to what Alec and Magnus tell you. Be good. Don't go to bed too late," she told her daughter, who nodded solemnly. 

"And now have a lot of fun. I'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon, alright?" Cat ended and smiled at her daughter. Alec could've watched them all day long. Madzie and Catarina were such a great mother-daughter-team.

"Yes, mommy. I love you," Madzie answered all smiles before she hugged Catarina once more.

"I love you, too."

Cat left soon after, leaving the three of them alone.

"Okay, sweetheart, let's get you settled then, before we decide what we're going to do, okay?" Magnus asked, and Madzie nodded in agreement.

It didn't take them long, and soon, they were sitting in the living room, playing Parcheesi. It turned out that Madzie loved to play those kinds of games a lot.

Madzie also really enjoyed talking about so many things. She would start to go to school in the summer and was very excited.

"I can't wait to learn how to read. Do you like reading?" She asked Alec at some point, who nodded, his face lighting up. 

"I love to," he answered truthfully.

"Alexander is looking for a job in a bookstore," Magnus jumped in, obviously glad about the topic as well.

"Wow, that's so cool! Would you read me a bedtime story later?" Madzie excitedly asked then, as she watched Alec, waiting for an answer.

"Of course, if you like me to do that for you," Alec shyly answered. He couldn't help but smile at that question. He'd always loved to read for his siblings or to tell them stories. Doing that for Madzie as well would be fun.

"Great! Thank you, Alec," Madzie answered cheerfully before they went back to their game. 

Alec, still being a little nervous about the pajama party, found himself more and more relaxing the longer their playful banter went on. It was fun to see Magnus almost childlike playing around with Madzie.

_ He would be a great dead.  _

That though had appeared a lot since the day, Alec had met Madzie and seen how great Magnus came around with children. But well, it was too early to even think about that. Even if they were already really close, there were still some things for them to work out before they could think about adopting. And so, Alec stopped himself from thinking about Magnus being a dad and focused on Madzie.

They had such a great time all together. In the evening, the three made pizza together. The kitchen was a mess after that, but neither Alec nor Magnus cared about it. They could clean up tomorrow when Madzie was back at home. Alec got more and more, why Magnus couldn't stop himself from spoiling the little girl. Magnus shot him knowing glances from time to time. Not without showing Alec how amused he was, of course.

After their dinner, Madzie asked them to watch her favorite movie with her: Moana. It was a beautiful Disney movie, one Alec hadn't seen until now. 

"How often have you watched the movie, sweetheart?" Magnus asked Madzie curiously when they realized that Madzie knew every songtext and happily sang along with the movie.

"I didn't count. But I love it so much. Isn't Moana awesome?" Madzie asked, swinging her legs to the sound of the music. 

"She is," Alec agreed truthfully. His sister had always loved Disney princesses too. But other than Madzie, Izzy only loved the movies where the princesses found their one true love. One thing, Alec had never believed in. Well, until now.

Once more, Alec had to stop himself from thinking about Magnus and their relationship. From goofily smiling around. But he was just too damn happy about how everything had turned out between them.

"Okay, time to go to bed," Magnus yawned after the movie came to an end.

"But Alec wants to read...," Madzie started, but Magnus cut her off.

"A bedtime story, of course, darling. Though a bedtime story has to be read in bed, don't you agree?"

"Well...okay. Can't argue on that," Madzie answered with a grin and got up from the couch to get herself ready for the night. Magnus and Alec decided to do the same and waited patiently for the girl to arrive in their bedroom. 

When Madzie came back, she happily jumped into the middle of the bed, in between Magnus and Alec. She handed the book she'd brought with her to Alec and snuggled up against Magnus. Magnus covered them with a blanket after they'd laid down.

* * *

* * *

When Alec started to read, Magnus couldn't help but smile. He loved Alec's voice, but having him reading to his godchild was something special. Magnus turned on his side and watched two of the most precious people in his life with a tender smile on his face. How could he become so lucky? And how did it come that fate decided he deserved it?

Magnus thoroughly enjoyed this particular moment. But it was over too soon. It seemed like just a moment later that Alec put the book aside. He'd surely read about 30 minutes, but Magnus couldn't help but pout as Alec stopped. Just like Madzie.

"Can you read for five more minutes, Alec? Please?" She tried to hide a yawn. And Alec, the attentive person that he was, realized that, of course.

"We can read more tomorrow, I promise. But we really have to sleep now," Alec answered kindly, winking at Madzie. Magnus furrowed his brow a little at that. More so when Madzie agreed without any backtalk.

"What are you two planning?" Magnus asked, eyeing Madzie, then Alec. Both wore a perfect innocent face.

"Nothing," came their too fast reply, almost simultaneity. 

"Oh, yes. Of course," Magnus answered sarcastically, huffing a little. He wasn't annoyed, more amused. And curious of, course. "I'll leave you to that. But only because it's too late to argue," he added, winking at Alec by himself now, showing him that he wasn't angry. Far from it. Magnus was more than glad that Alec and Madzie came around so pretty well.

"That's good, we wouldn't have told you anyway," Madzie answered cheekily, snuggling up against Magnus once more, awhile Alec rose to his feet, a smile on his face.

"I'll leave you then. Have a good night..." he started, but Madzie bent her head to look at Alec. 

"Where are you going?" She asked promptly, not even letting him end his sentence.

"To bed," Alec answered patiently, waving his hand in the direction of the guest room.

"But your bed is here. Don't you two sleep together?" Madzie turned around a little to look at Magnus. 

"Oh sweetheart, of course, we do share a bed. Alec just wants to give you his space, that's all."

"But your bed is so big, Magnus," Madzie promptly argued, turning around again to look at Alec. "You can stay here if you want to. I don't mind."

Alec smiled at Madzie and looked at Magnus, the question evident in his eyes. They'd talked about it earlier and had agreed on Alec sleeping in the guest room, but who was Magnus to deny his godchild something?

"You've heard the boss," was the answer to Alec's unspoken question. He tenderly smiled at Alec, who returned it just as gentle. It didn't take long for Madzie to fall asleep in between Alec and Magnus. 

They were both lying on their sides, watching each other for a while. Magnus smiled at Alec - he couldn't help it.

"I really do love you, Alexander," he whispered. A goofy smile appeared on Alec's face, one of those smiles, Magnus loved a lot. It lit up Alec's whole expression.

"As I love you, Magnus," he answered, just as silently, bringing his hand over for a moment, to tenderly caress Magnus' cheek. Magnus closed his eyes at that gentle touch, enjoying it immensely. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams to you as well, darling," Magnus answered silently, leaving his eyes closed, falling into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like this one? Little surprise for Magnus coming up in the next chapter, what do you think, did Madzie and Alec plan for him?
> 
> Drop me some kudos/comments, they help me getting creative ♥
> 
> Stay healthy ♥♥♥


	17. Chapter 17

Magnus awoke to the shifting of his mattress and a hand tenderly caressing his cheek. Alec, he realized promptly, and a smile appeared on his face, even before he opened his eyes. Magnus leaned into the touch of Alec's hand for a moment before slowly opening his eyes to take a look at the man he loved. 

Alec was sitting on the mattress beside him, already casually dressed. His hair was a mess, like every morning, standing out in every direction. A light stubble darkened his jaw. God, he looked gorgeous. 

But he surely was awake for a while now, because Magnus couldn't realize any tiredness in his facial features. 

"Good morning," Alec greeted him almost in a whisper, the softest smile on his face, as he gave Magnus his time to wake up. 

"Good morning to you as well, darling," Magnus murmured, his voice still thick with sleep. "Did I miss something?"

"No, not at all," Alec answered silently, tilting his head to place a tender kiss on Magnus' lips. "Madzie wanted to do something special for you, and we just finished getting it ready," he explained, as he beamed at Magnus. "She's very excited and couldn't wait for you to wake up by yourself."

Magnus couldn't help feeling the familiar sting in his chest. It felt so good to have someone so special in his life who apparently enjoyed taking care of him. And even if Magnus didn't want to allow himself to get used to this, he realized that the fear of Alec leaving him slowly abate. But that didn't stop him from being overly grateful.

"Thank you, Alexander," he whispered, the emotion swimming in his words.

"You haven't seen the surprise yet," Alec answered, a soft smile still on his handsome face. If Magnus had thought Alec was beautiful as he met him for the first time, he knew that it wasn't compared to what Alec looked for him now. He was the perfection of a human being in Magnus' eyes.

"The fact that you did something for me is enough to be grateful for," Magnus simply answered as he slowly sat up. He brought his lips to Alec's in a tender kiss, his hand automatically found the way to Alec's neck. 

"You should get used to it, and most of the credit goes to Madzie. I just leaned a helping hand," Alec murmured into their kiss and brought Magnus in for a hug. They held each other for a while, both enjoying the short morning cuddle so much. "Go, get yourself ready. We'll be waiting on the balcony," he appended and let go of Magnus before he rose back to his feet. 

"How much time do I have, darling?" Magnus asked as he gracefully like always stretched his body and got out of bed.

"As much as you need." Alec simply answered, as if it were just that easy.

_ As much as you need.  _

No one had ever been that patient with him, besides his friends, of course. Alec was such a special human being. Having the honor to have him in his life, left Magnus once more speechless for a moment.

"You don't know how goddamn perfect you are, Alexander Lightwood," Magnus hummed after a while, smiling widely when he saw Alec blushing heavily under the praise.

"Uhm...thank you? But...well, I just can throw the compliment back at you," he answered, slightly shy, his cheeks colored in an adorable shade of red. 

Magnus only smiled at that, knowing that he was far from being perfect. But he wasn't in the mood of talking about it, the day had begun so great, and Magnus surely didn't want to cloud the great vein.

"I see you in a few, darling."

He stole another kiss from Alec before he picked out some clothes of his wardrobe and made his way to the bathroom.

Magnus didn't bother on putting too much make-up on or styling his hair too fancy. He was exceedingly curious about the surprise Madzie and Alec had for him to spend too much time on getting ready.

When he finally sauntered out of the bedroom, Magnus hadn't taken longer than 20 minutes. Surprised by himself how fast he could get ready, Magnus made his way to the balcony. 

He stepped outside and was confronted with his favorite chocolate chip pancakes, fruits, and, of course, his favorite latte macchiato.

The decoration on the table obviously was originated by Madzie. 

"Have you been to the park?" Magnus asked in wonder as he realized a bouquet of self-pucked flowers in the middle of the table.

"Yes!" Madzie answered all smiles as she came over to hug Magnus. "Do you like it? I made the pancakes together with Alec, and we made fruits for you. And have you seen the garland? I painted and cut it all by myself!"

Magnus hadn't seen it yet, but of course, he stepped closer to the handrail where the garland was affixed. Madzie had done a fantastic job, painting all the favorite things of Magnus and putting the pieces together.

"I don't like it, sweetheart. I love it! What a beautiful surprise! Thank you so much!" Magnus cradled Madzie to his chest for a moment and planted a tender kiss on the top of her hair, before letting go of his adorable godchild. Madzie was beaming in happiness, and so was Alec. And well, Magnus hadn't stopped smiling since he'd woken up. What a beautiful way to start the day

"Come on, let's have breakfast, I'm starving!"

* * *

* * *

Alec couldn't help but watch Magnus' thrilled expression during their full breakfast. It was such a simple gesture but yet, Magnus was beaming as if he'd never had something like that. And Alec vowed to himself to make sure that his boyfriend would get as many good experiences as possible. That's what Magnus deserved. Madzie had been beyond excited as he'd agreed to her plan yesterday. She'd asked him the moment, Magnus went to the bathroom during the evening. She'd been working on the garland for weeks now and simply wanted to do something nice for her godfather. Of course, Alec was all in if it came to spoiling Magnus. He loved to see him happy and smiling. Magnus had done so much for him, and now it was Alec's part to show him how important he was. Alec knew Magnus had issues and was fighting them. That was something he realized very fast. Maybe because he had some baggage to carry around by himself. And until Magnus was ready to talk about it, Alec would be there and show him his love. And more so, his trust in Magnus.

They sat together on the balcony for a while after breakfast, before Madzie and Alec decided to clean up. 

"Enjoy your coffee and let us do the work," Alec murmured, kissing Magnus tenderly. Once more, Magnus happily beamed at him before he nodded and gave in.

"I don't like doing dishes anyway," Magnus hummed at ease and took a sip of his latte before he bent his head into the direction of the morning sun. Alec was glad to see how much Magnus seemed to enjoy the things they'd done for him.

"Who does?" Alec asked amusedly before helping Madzie to clean the table.

"No one, actually," Madzie answered dryly, clearly not enjoying their job, but well, Alec knew by now that there wasn't a thing she wouldn't do for Magnus. Alec couldn't help but chuckle at those words anyway. The girl really was something else.

"Right you are, sweetheart," Magnus answered amusedly, not opening his eyes as he kept enjoying the sun. "You leave a very grateful godfather behind," he added smilingly, earning a happy grin from Madzie, even if he couldn't see it.

After the dishes were done, they decided to stay on the balcony to play another round of Parcheesi. And another. And another. 

Time went by too quickly, with the three of them having so much fun together. At some point, Madzie asked them to watch a show with her. And so, they switched over to the living room, where they made themselves comfortable on the couch, watching some of Madzie's favorite shows. All in all, it was a lazy day, but none of them really cared. They enjoyed spending time together way too much.

In the late afternoon, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Catarina.

"Let me go," Alec said as Magnus wanted to rose to his feet. He just wanted to give Magnus and Madzie a few more moments to themselves. Magnus gratefully smiled at him and nodded as he sat back.

Alec walked straight to the front door and opened it for Cat. She gave him a friendly hug.

"I hope Madzie has been good?" She asked as soon as Alec had closed the door behind her.

"She was great, we had a very good time, actually," Alec informed her, smiling as he said so. He'd had a lot of fun with Madzie being around.

"Sounds great!" Cat answered cheerfully as they slowly made their way to the living room. "That means I can drop her off more often," she added, cheekily grinning at Alec.

"Well, I don't have any say in that, but if I had, I wouldn't say no to that," Alec answered absolutely honestly. And he was sure that Magnus would also love to have Madzie around.

"Oh, I'd say you have, Alec. Don't think too less of yourself," Cat said, smiling at him. "Magnus wouldn't do anything to make you uncomfortable," she added. Alec seemed to realize a worried expression for a moment, but it was gone too fast.

"I know he would never. But I wouldn't do that either," Alec answered truthfully. He hoped Magnus would open up to him at some point because he definitely wanted to know what had happened to him. But maybe, his boyfriend needed another prove of Alec's love. And he would show him just that when Madzie and Cat had left.

"I'm glad to hear that, Alec. You're good for him, I know that. He's an incredible human being, and I'm delighted to see him happy again."

"It's great to know that he has such a good friend," Alec answered with a smile. "I'd do anything to make him happy. I know he's holding back something...I don't know what yet. But I'm determined to find out and prove that nothing's wrong with whatever it is."

Magnus had shown him so much patience, so much love. Alec desperately wanted to give something back to him.

"He's been hurt many times. Just be patient. Show him how much you love him, that you're not going to leave. And with some time, it'll be fine. He just needs to realize it too."

"I will. Thank you, Cat."

"You're more than welcome! I think you're the first partner of Magnus who I actually really really like. So, if you ever need help or a bit of advice, just call me. At any time, okay?"

"Thanks...that really means a lot. I will do that," Alec answered gratefully, smiling at Catarina. And with that, both of them stepped into the living room. 

Magnus and Madzie were already waiting for them, both grinning happily as they joined them.

"Hey, sweetie!" Cat greeted her daughter as said girl excitedly hugged her mom. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, mommy, but I had a great time with Magnus and Alec," Madzie answered cheerfully. 

"I'm so glad to hear that, Madzie!"

Alec sat down beside Magnus, watching the show in front of him with a tender smile. Instinctively he put Magnus' hand in his, feeling the other man squeezing his hand gently. Alec bent his head a little in Magnus' direction and lovingly smiled at him. Magnus returned the smile with just as much affection.

Cat and Madzie stayed for another hour before they bid their farewell. 

Magnus sighed when they were gone and stretched his body almost cat-like. 

"I really need a bath now," he said after a moment. "We could order something for dinner, that okay, darling?" Magnus asked Alec then, who nodded in agreement. Suddenly nervous about his earlier decision, Alec gathered all his courage, before he surely would back away from his original plan.

"Would you mind if I join you? Uhm...in the tub?" He asked sheepishly, seeing Magnus watching him in surprise.

"Alexander...are you sure about that?" Magnus asked silently but nodded anyway. "But darling,  _ of course _ , I don't mind if you want to do that. I'd love to share a bath with you," he added then, obviously not wanting to give Alec the impression that he didn't want him around in the tub.

Alec felt relieved, knowing that Magnus wanted him to join him. 

He took a calming breath and nodded once more.

"I am...just nervous. Very nervous if I'm honest. But I really want that. I love you, Magnus. So much. And I trust you. I want to take another step forward."

Magnus watched him as if in awe, his eyes shining with emotions. He took Alec's hand in his and silently guided him towards the bathroom.

"Let me take care of you, then," he said in a whisper as they stepped into said room. Magnus let go of Alec's hand and turned towards the tub, turning on the water. He checked the temperature for a moment, before he turned back around to Alec, smiling tenderly at him. He returned the smile honestly even if he really didn't know what to do with himself for now.

"You really are nervous," Magnus admitted, and all Alec could do to answer was nodding shakily.

Magnus stepped closer to Alec and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"We'll take our time, okay? And if you feel the need to stop, just tell me. I won't be angry or disappointed with you. Don't forget that, Alexander."

"Okay," Alec answered, his voice suddenly hoarse. "I don't even know what to do now," he admitted shyly as he looked at Magnus, the vulnerability apparent in his eyes.

"That one is easy. We have to take our clothes off," Magnus answered. His expression was serious, and Alec was grateful that he didn't make fun of him. But Alec knew that Magnus would never do that.

"Okay."

"May I?" Magnus asked, and Alec nodded shakily, feeling a shiver running up and down his spine.

Magnus didn't leave his eyes as he removed Alec's clothes piece by piece. He only stopped when Alec was just left in his briefs, his blush spread from his face onto his chest.

"You okay, darling?"

"Yes. But could I...could you, uhm. Can we remove your clothes as well, before, uhm...you know?" Alec asked sheepishly, not really able to spell what he wanted to say: he didn't want to be the only one being naked.

"Of course, darling. Sure! Thank you for asking me," Magnus immediately answered, as he started to remove his clothes as well. Alec thought about stopping him and doing it by himself. But as if Magnus had sensed it, he smiled patiently at Alec.

"Next time, darling. All at your pace, okay?"

"Okay...thank you, Magnus. For everything," Alec simply said, his voice thick with emotions. He wanted to share a bath with Magnus, to take another step into their relationship. To give something back to Magnus for being so patient with him, especially when it came to his fears.

"There's no need to. Thank you for trusting me, Alexander. This here means a lot to me," Magnus assured him. "Do you want to leave the briefs on?"

"I do trust you with my life, Magnus. Honestly. It's just. He...my father...he told me how wrong this is for such a long time. My mind has to understand that it isn't. I want everything with you, Magnus...just....step by step?" Alec tried to explain what he was feeling. It wasn't easy for him to talk about it, but he'd read online that it helps to do so. Also, to start with simple things: sharing a bath or cuddling with as few clothes as possible. And he'd decided to work on it.

"We take all the time you need, Alexander. There's no rush, don't forget that, darling," Magnus answered smilingly, finally looking Alec up and down. "Your body is perfect, Alexander," he hummed after a moment, his voice carrying so much honesty with him. "May I touch you before we remove or final piece of clothes?"

"I...uhm...thank you," Alec stuttered at Magnus' praise. He wasn't used to compliments, certainly not when it came to his body. "Can I...too?" Alec asked sheepishly awhile he nodded, agreeing to Magnus' question. He desperately wanted to feel Magnus' hands on his body, he'd been fantasizing about it for a while now.

"Of course. I'm all yours," Magnus assured him, smiling tenderly at Alec. And that was the moment, Alec finally allowed himself to really look at Magnus. He'd seen him shirtless before, but this time it was utterly different. 

"You are so beautiful, Magnus," he whispered then, not able to control his voice very much. Alec was sure he'd never felt such strong emotions before. It left him breathless for a moment.

"Thank you, darling. That means a lot to me," Magnus assured him tenderly, stepping closer to Alec to take his hands in his. Magnus squeezed them lovingly before letting go of them. He carefully, as if not to scare Alec away, he threw his arms around Alec's torso, bringing him in for a hug. Alec hadn't realized until then that his hands were trembling slightly. But the moment his and Magnus' chest's connected, Alec couldn't help but let out a shaky breath, followed by a silent moan. He also brought his arms around Magnus' body, hugging him close as he realized how much the connection between them helped him in that very moment. Alec felt so much calmer now, knowing that he was doing the right thing.

"Magnus," he whispered, tilting his head, hiding his face in the crook of Magnus' neck.

"I know, Alexander. I feel the same," he answered, making Alec shiver. Knowing that Magnus felt exactly the same brought so much joy to Alec. And relief.

They stood together for a while, just holding each other, getting used to this new feeling of closeness they shared now. 

"Are you okay, Alexander?" Magnus whispered at some point, still holding Alec as close as possible.

"Very," Alec assured him, nodding along with his words. If he'd been afraid at some point, to hear his father's voice, Alec knew now that it was totally unwarranted. He could feel Magnus relaxing at his assurance and heard the smile in his voice as he began to talk once more. 

"Ready for our bath, then?" He asked, and Alec nodded in agreement. 

"Yes. More than."

They tentatively let go of each other, smiling as their eyes finally met.

"Let's go, darling."

Magnus stopped the warm water and put in some bath salts, filling Alec's nostrils immediately. He loved the scent.

They removed the final piece of clothes by themselves, and Magnus stepped into the bath first, reaching his hand out to Alec's, who grabbed it and followed him into the tub.

"Is it okay if I hold you, Alexander? I wanted to do this for the longest time," Magnus started, and Alec could see the hesitance in his eyes as he voiced his desire. 

"I'd love that, Magnus," Alec said, encouragingly, but also shyly. He didn't really know how it worked, but Alec was sure, Magnus would guide him. And Magnus rewarded him with a smile that was worth everything to Alec.

"Thank you, darling. Let me sit down first, and then you can lean on me," he told Alec and sat down into the warm water. Alec watched him and started to mirror him.

"Sit with your back to me, that way I can hold you better," Magnus guided him, and so Alec turned around and sat down just like Magnus told him to.

"You can lean against me, darling. If you're comfortable with it, of course."

Alec nodded, of course, he was. They'd held each other so often before. And even if it was different now, Alec couldn't wait to have Magnus' arms around him. And so, he warily leaned his back against Magnus' chest. Getting used to the feeling, Alec felt himself relaxing a little more before, Magnus' arms came around him, holding him.

"That okay?"

"Yes," Alec answered, not fully relaxed yet. But only because of the unfamiliar position.

"Then relax, darling, relax and enjoy our bath," Magnus whispered, and the moment his breath came in touch with Alec's skin, another shiver ran up and down his spine. And with that, Alec felt how his body finally relaxed as he fully leaned against Magnus as if he just belonged in that very spot.

"Just like that, Alexander. Feels good?"

"Yes. So good," Alec answered. "I guess that's my new favorite thing now," he added, earning an amused chuckle from Magnus.

"It's good to hear that."

"But does it feel good for you as well?" Alec asked immediately, bending his head a little to get a glimpse of Magnus' expression. And what he saw there made his stomach flutter in happiness. Magnus had the most fortunate expression on his so beautiful face. 

"You know, Alexander, I haven't felt this good in a very long time. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy this," he silently told him, his voice carrying so much happiness in it.

"I'm happy then. Really, Magnus. I love you so much, and I hope you understand how much I do. How much I trust you."

"I do, Alexander. I really do. And the feeling is mutual. I do love and trust you just as much."

"Then...then you should try and let go, too, Magnus. I will never hurt you. And I will not leave you. I'm here," Alec simply said, knowing that this time, he'd found the right words.

"I'll try to," came his quiet reply after a moment of silence. 

"Take your time. As I said, I'm not going to leave you until you throw me out," Alec answered, feeling Magnus cradling him impossibly closer. That was just what Alec needed at that very moment as well.

"Not going to happen, Alexander," Magnus answered silently, planting tender kiss after kiss on every part of Alec's skin he could reach. Alec closed his eyes and enjoyed every single peck, every squeeze, Magnus gifted him with. He felt lighter now. Alec had managed to do so much today. He'd been able to finally go a step forward to accepting himself and being able to show Magnus how much love he felt for him.

And goddamnit if it didn't feel so very good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are still doing well!  
Stay home, stay safe, stay healthy ♥♥♥  
Have a great weekend and drop me some Kudos/comments, they mean a lot to me ♥


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might've recognized, I've changed the summary a little bit. This story took me to places I hadn't thought about. This originally was supposed to be a short story about Alec. But well, things change and I just felt the need to involve more of Magnus' story as well. I hope you like it.
> 
> Well then. After all the fluff in the previous chapters, some angst for ya!  
Have a great weekend! Stay healthy ♥

Magnus hadn't felt so lucky in a very long time. Honestly. Meeting Alec was the best thing that could've happened to him. 

Since they'd shared their first bath, Alec and Magnus had grown impossibly closer. Magnus had never had something like that before, and he enjoyed every second of it. 

Alec had told him about how he wanted to try to take step after step, and of course, he was all in. Magnus wanted Alec to be as comfortable as possible while experiencing everything that came to intimacy and sexuality. Magnus encouraged him to tell him everything he wanted to try and also to set boundaries if needed. They were in no rush at all.

And so far, everything was working out very well. Alec didn't panic anymore when their make-out sessions got way too hot. He also initiated touches on his own. Shy at first, but more and more confident with every time, Magnus encouraged him that he liked it a lot.

Thinking about how far Alec had come since they've met made Magnus' heart swell in pride and happiness. Alec had gained so much confidence over the passing weeks, it was _ so good _ to see. And more so, to experience everything together with him. Even if Magnus had been around a lot, sharing these things with Alec was so special, as if it was Magnus' own new experience. 

Today, Magnus had a shopping date with Isabelle. They did that at least once a month since they'd met. Magnus absolutely enjoyed the time they spent together. Isabelle had a big mouth on her, and Magnus really enjoyed that. Furthermore, she had great taste when it came to fashion. They always had a wonderful time together, often ending their days with dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant.

But somehow, Magnus really wasn't in the mood for shopping today. And he should've known better and stayed at home to watch movies and cuddle with his boyfriend on the couch. 

Well, when it came to him, Magnus refused to listen to his gut. Not by choice, he just didn't do it.

Once at the shop, Magnus didn't find anything he liked and was exasperated about it. He stopped looking for himself and tried to help Isabelle finding something. She was just inside the changing booth when Magnus heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Magnus, what a surprise!"

His stomach clenched in the sense of foreboding, the hair on his neck suddenly stuck out. 

This day obviously couldn't get any worse. 

Turning around stiffly, Magnus forced a slight smile on his lips that didn't reach his eyes, before he faced the person who called him. The one and only person he'd hoped to never see again for the rest of his life.

"Camille..." he answered less than thrilled, the moment their eyes met. She looked beautiful as ever, her straight black hair was well-done as well as her make-up. She wore a stunning red dress that hugged her lean body perfectly. Magnus still knew why he fell for her. Camille still was a sight. But well, now that he knew her character, that was everything positive, Magnus could tell about her. He knew how cold-hearted Camille was, and he also knew that she would try and hurt him again. So there was no other reason for him: Magnus had to get out of here. Fast. 

He didn't want to talk to Camille. 

Not today. 

Not ever. 

"I thought you moved to London," he said promptly, not wanting Camille to give him more attention than she already did. Camille's eyes took him in from head to toe with that all familiar face of disapproval. 

"Oh, I thought about coming back, London isn't really my cup of tea," Camille answered lightly before her cold eyes found his own again.

"I see that you're still wearing those..." she stopped and waved her hands at his clothes and jewelry. "...well, those things," she ended her sentence, a sly smile on her lips.

Magnus was wearing maroon-colored chinos, a tight black shirt with maroon-colored highlights in it, as well as a matching vest. Rings, as well as bracelets and necklaces, made his outfit perfect. His hair was short and spiked, without any highlights in it. Magnus hadn't been in the mood today. 

Even his make-up was just a light touch compared to usual.

Alexander had told him this morning that he loved his look today, and that was all, Magnus usually needed. 

Well, not today. 

Magnus himself hadn't been confident about his look, for only God knew the reason. That hadn't happened in a very long time. And of course, he had to meet Camille today. The woman that always had the best timing when it came to his insecurities.

"Of course, I do. Why would I change it?" He asked Camille, straightening his tense body as if to show how confident he was about his look. Magnus knew he was a good-looking man, but Camille always made him feel self-conscious.

"Oh...Oh, Magnus, you know why. It's a little bit...too much for a...man, don't you think? You don't have the right sense when it comes to fashion," she told him compassionately, but yet the smile she shot him was enough for Magnus to know precisely what she was telling him. 

It wasn't just about the clothes or his personal style. It was about his personality, about him being too clingy, too loud, too extravagant, too much in general. An ice-cold hand suddenly gripped his heart and squeezed it tightly. His insecurities were showing themselves instantly. Magnus had to fight to keep his shoulders straight, his head upwards, his eyes from staring to the ground in shame. He hated how Camille made him act.

"He absolutely has the right sense, how dare you?" Isabelle's voice was to be heard from behind. She was at Magnus' side in no time, ready to defend him, and of course, Magnus was grateful for that. Isabelle, just like Alec, was very protective of the people she loved. But he couldn't let Isabelle hear what Camille was saying to him. It was too embarrassing. 

"Why, thank you, Isabelle. That's very nice of you to say. I appreciate it. But sweetheart, would you mind and wait for me for a moment? I'll just bid my farewell to Camille, and then we'll catch up on that fabulous dress we've found for you," he told her, smiling gently at Alec's younger sister, showing her that he would be fine. Izzy looked at him for a moment with raised brows, before she nodded. 

"Okay, but you just have to call me, and I'll be back," Izzy simply said, squeezing Magnus' hand for a moment. She turned around and walked away, leaving him and Camille without having another look at the other woman.

"Your newest toy?" Camille asked with a sly smile on her beautiful face. But Magnus didn't fall for it, never would again.

"That shouldn't be interesting for you, and more so, I won't tell you," he answered firmly. Magnus wouldn't let Camille back into his life. She had no right to have any information about him.

"Still falling hard for everyone that simply smiles at you? God, Magnus..." Camille answered, trying to be pitiful as she obviously enjoyed to mortify Magnus. "You really are one of the most embarrassing people I know."

"Just stop it, Camille. I'd say we're finished here," Magnus answered, as he tried hard to not let his voice tremble. All the bad feelings, Camille had given him years ago were back, haunting him. He'd fought so hard to get rid of them. And now they were crashing in on him with a force he couldn't combat.

"Oh no, I think we should catch up a little. Maybe have a little fun? You were always fun for the night, Magnus," Camille answered, trying to touch his cheek, but Magnus backed away immediately.

"No, thank you, Camille. We're done. And now leave, or I will."

"But Magnus," Camille started, trying to convince him, once more stepping closer, more into his personal space. 

"No, Camille. You left me. You made a pet out of me, and then you left me. If love were food, I would have starved on the bones you gave me. I won't catch up on old times, nor will I have another chat with you in the future. If you stay in New York, make sure to not cross my way ever again," he told her, gaining all the courage left in him. It wouldn't take him long to break.

After that was said, Magnus turned away, leaving the fashion shop without another word. He forgot about Isabelle waiting for him or that Alec was about to prepare dinner for them. Magnus just needed to get away from Camille as fast as possible. She'd broken him terribly a few years ago. 

If it hadn't been for his friends, Magnus was sure that he wouldn't have recovered. He almost ran through the streets in the afford to get as far away as possible from Camille. But the negative thoughts, the bitterness fled with him. He had to do something to stop himself from thinking, and there was only one thing, Magnus knew, that would help.

* * *

* * *

Izzy, despite Magnus' wish to leave them alone, had just waited around the next corner and listened to what the two of them were chatting about. She had a bad feeling about that woman, and usually, her gut didn't betray her.

Magnus apparently had been uncomfortable in the company of the woman. Izzy had never seen him like that before. And even though the woman, Camille, was gorgeous-looking, it was evident that she wasn't adorable from the inside. To say it in Izzy's words: that woman was the characterization of a bitch.

Izzy listened to everything they were saying, and it hurt her, how Camille talked to Magnus. He didn't deserve that, and the moment he stormed off the shop, Izzy knew that Camille had hit a sensitive spot of her brother's boyfriend. 

Immediately, Izzy pulled out her phone and dialed Alec's number. Waiting for him to pick up the phone, she caught Camille smiling devilishly before the woman turned around and left the shop as well.

"Hey, Iz," Alec greeted her cheerfully a moment later. "Did you and Magnus already finish your shopping tour?" He asked curiously. "Because I'm working on dinner for Magnus and me, and I'm not nearly finished," he added, clearly occupied in the kitchen. If the situation weren't that serious, Izzy would have had her fun.

"Alec. Could you stop cooking for a second and listen to me?" She asked and was met with silence for a moment. The siblings knew each other very well, and it was the sound of Izzy's voice alone that gave her all of Alec's attention.

"What happened? Is Magnus hurt?"

"Not physically, no. But listen. Magnus met a woman...Camille? And he was clearly uncomfortable with her. I haven't seen him like that before. He just stormed off the shop, without saying goodbye." Izzy also told Alec what she'd overheard from the conversation between Magnus and Camille.

"What a bitch," Alec answered after a moment. An unknown rage filled his voice. Well, that was a first. Izzy loved it.

"True, true." She only answered. "I hope you find him...he looked so hurt, Alec."

"I hope that too. Fuck, I have to find Magnus fast. Okay...I will call Catarina and ask her if she has any clue where Magnus could be."

"Do that, big brother. Just text me when you found him and let me know that he's alright, okay?"

"Sure, Izzy. Thanks for calling me."

They hung up the phone and very soon after, Izzy paid for her new clothes and left the shop.

* * *

* * *

Alec tried to call Magnus at first. It wasn't a surprise for him that Magnus didn't pick up the call. That woman - Camille - she must've hurt Magnus a lot if he had stormed off without a goodbye to Izzy. That wasn't Magnus to act like that. Alec hadn't met Camille in person, but he already hated her for what she did to Magnus. He was such a kind soul and didn't deserve any of that.

Alec then called Catarina. She picked up after the second ring.

"Hey, Alec!"

"Catarina, hi. I have an important question, do you have a moment?"

"Of course. Spill it."

"So...uhm, Magnus met this woman while shopping with Izzy. Her name's Camille..."

"Where is he, Alec?" Cat's voice suddenly sounded tense and worried. That was when Alec knew that it was good to call her.

"I don't know yet, Cat. Izzy just called me and said that he'd stormed off without another word. I tried to call him, but he doesn't answer his phone." He explained to Catarina, what Izzy had heard from their conversation. Cat cursed before she took her time to think about it.

"Okay, I have two locations where he possibly could be. Will you look out for him?"

"Of course! Can you send me the locations? I'm already outside..."

"Sure. But Alec? He'll be in a bad state mentally. Be patient with him, okay? Camille...she's hurt him a lot in their time together. He needs you and your love. No matter what he says or how he acts."

Goosebumps appeared all over Alec's arms as he heard that. He had to find Magnus fast. He wanted to make sure that his boyfriend was safe, wanted to be there for him.

"I will. I will take care of Magnus, I promise, Cat," he murmured as he took a seat behind the steering wheel of Magnus' car. Usually, Alec would hesitate to use it, but this was important, and he had to move fast.

"Let me know if you found him, okay? And call me anytime you need help, Alec. Anytime!"

"Sure thing, Catarina."

He hung up and checked Cat's messages. He found two locations and picked the closest one. It was about five minutes from here. The drive felt like an eternity, but eventually, Alec managed to get there. 

Magnus wasn't there.

Alec felt more and more nervous, also worried about Magnus as he tried to call him once more. This time, Alec went straight to the mailbox.

Hurrying back to the car, he reached it in no time and drove to the second location, praying to find Magnus in there. It took him fifteen more minutes, which felt like hours.

The second location was a bar. Alec hadn't seen Magnus drink anything besides a Martini here and there or a glass of wine during dinner. But Catarina still knew Magnus way better than Alec did.

Nevertheless, Alec parked Magnus' car, got out of it, and locked it. He crossed the street and stepped into the bar.

Alec recognized Magnus immediately. He was sitting in the corner of a bar, his back to the entrance. His shoulders were slumped, and his whole appearance was nothing, Alec had ever seen before. 

Sad.

Insecure.

Making a beeline for Magnus, Alec didn't waste more time staring at the back of Magnus. He just wanted to be with his boyfriend again. Wanted to take care of him and make him feel better.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, before he carefully sat down beside him, not daring to touch him - for now, at least.

Magnus visibly tensed as he recognized Alec beside him. A bitter smile crossed his face as he bent his head in Alec's direction. Magnus didn't look him in the eyes, but Alec recognized immediately that his boyfriend, indeed, was really hurt. 

Magnus' eyes were red and puffy. He'd obviously been crying. It hurt Alec to see him like that. His heart clenched painfully as Magnus didn't give him any more reaction than that bitter smile.

"Magnus," Alec whispered once more. He couldn't bear it anymore. Alec's arms moved on their own as they moved around Magnus and hugged him close to his body.

Magnus, if possible, tensed even more at that, but Alec refused to let go of him. By now, Alec knew how much Magnus craved for closeness, for signs of love and adoration. And furthermore, Cat had told him, that Magnus would need his love. Alec was more than willing to give it to his boyfriend.

"It's okay, Magnus," he whispered once more, cradling him a little more to his chest. Feeling Magnus relaxing a tiny little bit, Alec felt relieved. It was a start. "I've got you," he murmured, taking his time to let Magnus get used to him.

"So...you've found me." It had taken him a while to talk. Magnus' voice was hoarse, and he was slurring. But Alec understood him perfectly and also didn't mind if Magnus was drunk. He only cradled him tighter against his chest, showing Magnus he was there.

"Izzy called me and told me you stormed off. After you didn't answer your phone, I called Cat. She told me where I might find you," Alec explained as short as possible. Magnus only nodded as he leaned his head a little bit against Alec's chest.

"I didn't want to leave Isabelle behind," Magnus silently told him, his voice lacking the melodic sound it used to have. He talked slow and slurringly and carried so much sadness in his voice that was so much deeper than usual.

"She knows that. Izzy heard what that woman said to you."

Alec didn't know if he did the right thing, starting about Camille, he simply wasn't good at stuff like that. But he tried.

Alec felt a shudder running through Magnus' body as he only mentioned her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have....," Alec immediately began apologizing, not wanting Magnus to shut him out because he tried to get through him the wrong way. But to Alec's surprise, Magnus stopped him before he could say more.

"No, darling. It's okay," he murmured slurringly, finally bringing his arms around Alec's waist in a hesitant motion. Almost as if he was scared of Alec's rejection.

"Okay," Alec whispered back, planting a tender kiss on the top of Magnus' head. He squeezed his boyfriend for a long moment, holding him close. Magnus still wasn't fully relaxed against him, but Alec was patient, he wouldn't rush him.

"Wanna go home?"

Magnus nodded against his chest before he started to talk once more.

"I haven't drunken so much in a while now."

"Well, a wise man once told me that, sometimes, a drink is very much needed," Alec answered, patiently giving Magnus all the time he would need.

"Yeah," Magnus hoarsely agreed and hesitantly let go of Alec. He still hadn't met his eyes yet, but Alec would let him until they'd reach home.

"Can you walk, Magnus?"

"I...I'll try."

Alec never..._ never _had heard Magnus stutter. 

He raised his brows in surprise. That was so not Magnus.

"Hey...it's okay if you need a minute. A glass of water, maybe? You can tell me, Magnus," Alec silently told him, glad that they were alone in their corner. He carefully lifted his hand and placed it on Magnus' cheek, tenderly caressing him with his thumb. "Just tell me what you need, and I'll do everything possible to get it for you," Alec added, watching Magnus with a worried expression. Magnus still didn't look at him, but yet, Alec could see his eyes tearing up.

"Can I...lean on you?" Magnus hesitantly answered after a while, closing his eyes as he carefully leaned into Alec's touch.

"Of course, Magnus. I will hold you all the way," he silently promised, his heart clenching at Magnus' question. 

"Okay...thank you." It wasn't more than a whisper, but Alec heard it anyway.

"There's no need to thank me, Magnus. I'm here for you."

They left enough money on the table and slowly rose to their feet. Alec had to encourage Magnus to hold onto him while he cradled him close. Magnus really was unsteady on his feet, obviously more drunk than Alec had thought he was. They walked very slow, but thankfully it wasn't too far, and soon, they were in front of Magnus' car.

"Let's get you in," Alec murmured patiently and unlocked the vehicle. He opened the door and helped Magnus to take place in the passenger seat. Alec helped him to fasten the seatbelt before he closed the door and moved over to the other side of the car. Very soon, Alec was in the vehicle with Magnus, taking a worried look at his boyfriend. 

Magnus silently looked out of the window. What he could see from his point of view made Alec wanting to hug Magnus and never let go of him again.

"Hey...ready to get home?" Alec asked empathetically, placing his hand onto Magnus' one. His hand was cold under Alec's palm, and so he left it there, hoping to give Magnus some warmth and comfort.

His boyfriend nodded in response before he crooked out a silent "yeah." Magnus didn't say one more word, but all so softly, gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze after he'd entwined their finger slowly and hesitantly. 

"I'm here, okay? I'm not leaving you alone, Magnus," Alec murmured into the silence, and finally, after a moment, Magnus slowly bent his head in his direction. That was when their eyes met for the first time this evening. Magnus' eyes carried so much desperation, but yet, it was apparent that he was grateful.

"Thank you, Alexander, thank you so much," Magnus whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"There's no need to. I love you, Magnus."

"I love you, too, Alexander," Magnus' voice cracked as he spoke, but yet, Alec tenderly smiled at his boyfriend. He felt hope bubbling up in his chest at this simple move of Magnus. They would get Magnus through this, and Alec would be at Magnus' side all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, pls ♥   
I'd love to hear from you, comments and kudos keep me inspired :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking care of Magnus, part 1

The drive back home was quiet. Alec refused to let go of Magnus' hand all the way, just wanting to keep their connection as close as possible during the drive. And Magnus kept holding his hand in a tight squeeze as well as if his life depended on it.

By the time they reached their home, Alec parked the car and pulled out his phone with his free hand. He'd almost forgotten to keep his promise to his sister and Catarina to inform them when he'd found Magnus.

"I'm just texting Cat and Izzy. They're worried about you, and will probably kill me if I don't tell them that I found you," he explained. Magnus was watching him silently, not even able to have a questioning look on his face. He only nodded in response, giving his silent okay.

Alec sent two short messages to the women, telling them he found Magnus and would contact them again in the morning. The desperate need to take care of Magnus filled Alec's very being. Some bitch had hurt his boyfriend, and all Alec wanted was to make him feel better.

Alec got out of the car and helped Magnus out of it right after. They slowly made their way to the loft, stopping here and there to adjust themselves. 

"What do you need, Magnus?" Alec asked as soon as they stepped into their home. "You can tell me everything, I promise that I won't take advantage of it," he added, well-knowing that Magnus simply needed to hear those words from him. "I only want to help you; want to be at your side," he added silently. Alec couldn't bear to see Magnus hurt like that. It was almost as if he could feel the pain of his boyfriend as if it was his own.

"I...I don't know, Alexander," Magnus croaked out, looking lost and embarrassed at the same time as Alec looked down at Magnus. "I've never had that..." he added, still slurring slightly as he kept his eyes on their entwined hands.

"You've never had someone to take care of you when you didn't feel well?" Alec carefully asked, his heart clenching once more at the thought that Magnus had to go through those times all on his own. Magnus confirmed his question with a short and plain shake of his head.

"May I try to?" Alec asked silently, holding onto Magnus. Feeling a shudder running through his boyfriend's body, Alec knew he'd asked the right question.

"I don't want to be a burden for you, Alexander," Magnus whispered after a moment, even though he was holding on to Alec with a firm grip. It was apparent that Magnus didn't want him to leave. But he couldn't voice it. That woman...Alec wasn't someone to get angry very fast. But if Camille would ever cross his way, Alec Lightwood couldn't promise anything. And the way Izzy had told him, Camille had smiled after the conversation with Magnus, Alec was sure that she'd hurt him on purpose. 

But for now, Magnus was more important than anything else.

"You're not a burden, Magnus. I promise. I'd love to take care of you, if you let me," Alec tenderly answered, cradling Magnus a little closer to his body. There was no way for him to leave Magnus now. Even if he would ask for it. Or fight him. 

Alec wouldn't leave Magnus. 

Period.

"Okay," came the quiet reply after another moment, making Alec smile softly at his boyfriend. However, Magnus couldn't see it, because he was still averting his eyes from Alec's.

"Thank you, Magnus. Honestly. I feel very honored that you let me help you. Just tell me if I do something wrong, okay?" Alec asked his boyfriend, tenderly. 

And that was when Magnus finally lifted his eyes to look at Alec. His eyes were full of vulnerability and sadness as he watched Alec soundlessly for a moment as if to make sure that Alec meant those words he'd said.

"You won't...as long as you don't leave...just...please," he pleaded, his voice nothing more than a broken whisper, making Alec's stomach clench painfully once more.

"I could never leave you, Magnus, why would I? Especially not when you're not feeling well," Alec told him, trying to keep his voice patient and tenderly. Holding his emotions at bay, Alec gently smiled at his boyfriend. Magnus needed him as calm as possible.

"I don't know...maybe I'm too much to handle for you...like I am for almost everyone," Magnus silently answered, talking slowly and hoarsely. "I know I'm a lot to handle...but I..." Magnus tried to say but stopped immediately as his eyes teared up. 

Alec knew that Magnus was holding something back. He'd seen it for a while now in Magnus' behavior. Alec needed to make sure that his boyfriend didn't need to do that. 

Not in front of him.

Alec lifted one hand to tenderly caress Magnus' cheek in a soothing motion.

"You're not, I promise. You're not too much to handle. Not for me. I love you, Magnus," Alec answered firmly and with as much tenderness in his voice as possible. "You will never be too much for me."

"You can't promise that," Magnus' voice almost broke at the last word, his eyes shining with tears and so much fear as he averted them once again.

"I can. Because I love everything about you. There's nothing I would change. You are beautiful, inside and out, Magnus Bane. I don't care what other people think about you because I believe you are the best thing that could've happened to me. I love how you show appreciation. I love how you put your hand on my arm when you're talking to me. How you keep us connected as much as possible. I don't know how I survived that long without all of that. Without you." 

Jesus, where did that come from? Alec wasn't good with words. Well, usually. But some things just needed to be said. And with Magnus, things were just so much easier. And Alec wanted it to be likewise for Magnus.

Another shudder ran through Magnus' body as he listened to Alec's words. He clung to Alec for a long while, before he dared to speak again. 

"Thank you, Alexander," he merely whispered, his voice thick with emotions.

"You're welcome, Magnus. Honestly. Don't doubt anything when it comes to how I feel about you. Because I wouldn't want you in any other way."

Magnus didn't answer him this time, besides giving him a shaky nod. Alec cradled him tenderly against his chest, giving Magnus all the time to calm down.

"Let's get you to the bathroom," he whispered then, earning another nod from his boyfriend. Alec gently guided him to the bathroom, holding Magnus close all the way. 

"Do you need a minute? I'll wait outside," Alec suggested, and once more, Magnus only nodded. Alec made sure that Magnus was reasonably steady on his feet before he left the room just to come back as soon as he heard the flush of the toilet. Without another word, he brought Magnus back into his arms. Both of them needed to be close to each other.

"Wanna get ready for bed?" Alec asked silently, taking in Magnus' exhausted expression, as said man looked at him.

"Yeah," he simply answered, but didn't do anything as he stood there, helplessly. He obviously couldn't do it on his own.

"Hey. Sit down," Alec gently guided Magnus then, assuring him that it was alright. And Magnus did just that, sitting down on the toilet lid, averting his eyes once more from Alec's.

"There's no need to be ashamed, Magnus. It's just me," Alec whispered as he carefully kneeled down in front of him, and tenderly started to remove his rings one by one. After that, he removed Magnus' bracelets, putting them into the boxes they belonged to, followed by his necklaces. Alec took his time, knowing how valuable the jewelry was to his boyfriend, so there was no way for him to just put them somewhere they didn't belong. 

Magnus followed his every move, obviously shocked by Alec's movements. 

"What is it?" Alec asked as he saw the look on Magnus' face, fearing he'd done something wrong. 

"You know exactly where they belong in," Magnus whispered in response, his voice thick with emotion.

"Of course," Alec answered, not giving it that much attention. He loved to watch Magnus putting on and off his make-up and jewelry. So, of course, after a few weeks, Alec knew precisely where everything belonged. 

Before he could continue, Alec felt Magnus' arms around him, squeezing him tight. The act surprised Alec to the bones.

"Magnus?" He asked, wrapping his arms around Magnus' waist to hug him back. But his boyfriend only shook his head, hiding in the crook of Alec's neck for a moment before he let go of him, tensing up. 

"I'm sorry," he croaked out and sat back down again, but Alec wouldn't have any of that.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Magnus. Nothing," he mumbled, lifting his hand to tenderly caress Magnus' cheek. "That's one of the things I love about you," he added smilingly as Magnus carefully and insecurely took a look at him. "It's really okay, I like it when you show emotions like that."

"You...you know where my jewelry belongs to...God Alec. You don't know what that means to me," Magnus whispered brokenly, looking at Alec with red-rimmed eyes as he dared to keep his emotions at bay.

"Of course I do. They're important to you, and you're important to me. I love to watch you put them on, your make-up as well. It's just...you're so beautiful, Magnus. And when you do your make-up and put on your jewelry, you look so happy and relaxed. I could watch you all day long."

Magnus cracked a slight smile at Alec before it fell from his face once more. Alec hated to see Magnus like that. Like he couldn't believe Alec's words even if he tried and wanted to.

But he knew there would be no point in telling him once more. Magnus needed to rest before they could talk about what happened. About what Magnus was obviously so afraid of. 

So Alec rose to his feet and got the make-up remover before he kneeled down in front of Magnus once more. He put some of the fluid on a cotton pad and gently started to remove Magnus' make-up. Magnus closed his eyes as soon as he realized what Alec was doing, his lips trembling slightly. Smiling sadly at the view in front of him, Alec tried to remove the make-up as gentle as possible. 

They didn't speak, though, both feeling the intimacy this simple act brought with it. 

Talking wasn't necessary.

Once Alec was done, he put the cotton pad into the trash can. He then took Magnus' comb. Knowing he'd done that before, Alec gently and carefully started to comb through Magnus' hair, removing most of the styling gel with it. Thankfully, Magnus hadn't used that much in the morning compared to other days. Not that Alec would mind. It was just easier for now.

"Okay, all done," Alec only whispered, not daring to talk louder. "Wanna go to bed?" He asked furthermore, earning another nod from Magnus. 

So, Alec took Magnus' hands in his and helped him to rise to his feet. Magnus had sobered up by now, it was apparent. But still, Alec didn't let go of his boyfriend, feeling that Magnus needed the closeness. Just like Alec did.

They stepped into the bedroom together. As soon as Magnus was sitting on the edge of the bed, Alec tenderly started to remove his clothes. Magnus helped him when needed, but otherwise sat silently, and let Alec do his work until Magnus was stripped down to his briefs. Alec just had a feeling that skin-to-skin contact was very much needed tonight. And who was he to deny it?

"Hey, do you need some water before we lay down?" Alec asked, reaching out to the water bottle, Magnus always had on his bedside. Handing it over to Magnus, he watched his boyfriend taking a few large swigs before Magnus put the bottle back onto its place.

Magnus then lay down on his own, turning onto his side, his back to Alec for now, but to be able to face him as soon as Alec would lay down, too. 

Alec gently tucked him in and stripped down to his boxers before he as well climbed into the bed, also turning onto his side, facing Magnus. He didn't avert his gaze, for now, keeping his eyes locked with Alec's.

Magnus' eyes still carried so much sadness and insecurity. His very expression was exhausted, as well.

"Wanna cuddle?" Alec asked his boyfriend, smiling gently at him.

"If you don't mind?" Magnus asked, almost sheepishly, trying to avert his eyes once more. 

But Alec wouldn't have it. 

Not anymore.

"Hey...don't look away. Please. I won't judge you, Magnus," Alec said, opening his arms for Magnus. "Of course, I don't mind. I love to hold you. As much as I love to get held by you. And now come here, I've got you," he gently told his boyfriend, smiling fondly at him as he did so. 

Magnus observed Alec's face for a moment before he finally gave in to what he so desperately needed. He moved over to Alec and let himself get cradled against his boyfriend's chest. Alec heard Magnus exhaling a shuddering breath as he wrapped an arm around Alec's waist.

"That's better, don't you think so?" Alec murmured as soon as Magnus hesitantly placed his head on Alec's chest.

"Yes. Thank you, Alexander," Magnus mumbled against his chest. Alec cradled him impossibly closer in response, wanting to have his boyfriend as close as possible. 

The skin-to-skin contact seemed to help Magnus as well. Or at least that was what Alec hoped because Magnus appeared to relax a little in his arms.

"There's nothing to thank me for, Magnus. I'll gladly be here for you whenever you need me, okay?"

"Okay," Magnus whispered, and Alec entwined their fingers on his chest in the afford to keep Magnus as close as possible.

"If you need anything tonight, please wake me up, Magnus. I'm here, okay? You're not alone in this anymore," Alec whispered into Magnus' hair, feeling his boyfriend trembling a little in response. "I know you have to get used to it, and that's perfectly fine. But please, try me and let me show you that I'm here for you," he added silently. His thumb started to draw soothing circles on Magnus' back as he talked to him. 

Magnus needed to rest that was important.

"I'll try," came a weak response. But that was enough for Alec, at least for now.

"That's good...try and rest now. I'm here," Alec whispered, kissing Magnus tenderly on the top of his head. Lingering there for a while longer, Alec inhaled his boyfriend's precious scent. "I love you, Magnus."

"I love you too, Alexander ."

* * *

* * *

Magnus jerked awake many times during the night, only to feel Alec's arms around him in an instant, holding him closer, cradling him to his chest. Alec's warmth helped him whenever Camille's voice crossed his mind. Somehow, his boyfriend could ban her out of his mind without much effort. And so, Magnus left himself feel just grateful for Alec's presence. For the feeling of safety, he brought to him during the whole night. At least in his half-asleep status.

Magnus fell back to sleep very soon, listening to Alec's soothing whispers, feeling safe in the arms of his boyfriend.

And yet, he still didn't feel very rested when he awoke in the morning. 

His head hurt terribly, and his mouth was dry. 

The only good thing was that Alec still held him close. Magnus snuggled a little bit closer, wrapping his arms around Alec as pleasant as possible.

Magnus still couldn't believe that Alec was still with him, still at his side. That he'd taken care of him so selflessly the previous night. It felt almost unreal, but here he was, lying in Alec's arms, who slowly stirred awake as if sensing that Magnus was awake as well.

"Hey...you okay?" Alec sleepily murmured, cracking his so beautiful hazel-colored eyes open. Usually, Magnus would adore this sight in front of him, but he still felt under the weather. Even if Alec had been awesome last night. And Magnus had to admit that he felt better today than any other days before. But still...Camille's words had hurt him badly, had hit sensitive spots. And now that he was fully awake, he heard Camille's voice, all of her insults came back to his mind.

"Yeah...just can't sleep anymore," Magnus answered, his voice still hoarse from last night's actions.

"Breakfast then?" Alec murmured, still sleepily, but smiling tenderly at Magnus. 

His heart fluttered, and for a moment, Magnus just felt happy and almost smiled back at his boyfriend. But soon, the thoughts were back, the insecurities and Magnus felt himself looking away from Alec. He didn't want to burden his boyfriend too much.

"You're still tired...sleep, Alexander," Magnus murmured, against his wishes. "I will be okay," he added weakly, not trusting his own voice. It was embarrassing. 

Pathetic.

"You're not okay. And I don't mind. I want to be with you," Alec answered, bringing his hand to his face, cupping his cheek, gently guiding him back to look at Alec. "Don't hide from me," Alec whispered, bending his head to place a tender kiss on Magnus' lips. "Let me in," he added, making Magnus' heart clench. 

Jesus, he couldn't even tell Alec how much he wanted to be able to do just that. 

But Magnus didn't know how to do it anymore. He'd trusted so many people before and had been left hurt every single time. 

Yet he knew that Alec was different. And Magnus trusted him more than any other person beforehand. 

But he was so goddamn afraid that Alec would leave him as well. And that fear kept him from talking, brought the walls up that Magnus had let down too much. Camille hadn't been able to hurt him that bad if they'd been up all the way. 

Magnus felt sorry for not being able to let Alec in like he wished he could. For now, at least. He just needed more proof that Alec would stay, that he wouldn't leave him. But how could he voice it? 

"I try to," was Magnus' only response, looking at Alec, who watched him worriedly. Magnus didn't want Alec to worry about him. He wasn't worth it. "It's just not that easy."

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere," Alec, all so patiently answered with a tender smile. Magnus tried to crack a smile in response, but he just couldn't. It just didn't work.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled instead.

"Don't. It's okay, Magnus. Really. I'm not mad at you. You take all the time you need. Just get used to me sticking around. I will show you that you can trust me completely," Alec, all so patiently answered. Magnus couldn't help but wonder what he did to deserve such a beautiful human being. He felt his eyes tearing up and did his best to blink the tears away that dared to come out. Magnus also couldn't answer as he felt a big lump in his throat.

"Let's have breakfast, okay? I'm starving," Alec suggested gently. Magnus nodded in response, glad about the change of the topic. He required caffeine and a painkiller as well.

"Okay," he whispered and slowly started to untangle himself from Alec. Slowly sitting on the edge of the bed, Magnus felt the mattress shifting behind him. 

Soon, Alec was standing in front of him, reaching out his hands for Magnus to get them. Magnus put his hands in Alec's and rose to his feet. Feeling a little dizzy, he stood still for a moment, before showing Alec with a hesitant nod, that he was okay. They both put on a shirt before they left the bedroom.

Alec didn't let go of his hand as they made their way to the kitchen. And Magnus couldn't be more grateful for that. He needed the hold of Alec so much it was almost unreal.

Once in the kitchen, Magnus went straight for a painkiller, swallowing the pill with a swig of water, awhile Alec got the coffee ready. Magnus watched him doing his work, feeling the desperate need to be closer to Alec. 

But he couldn't have it. 

Couldn't just go to Alec and hug him. Thanks to his insecurities and his ex-girlfriend. Magnus hated to behave like this. He didn't want to be all that insecure and unconfident. 

Feeling the anger against himself rising in his guts, his lips tremble, and his eyes tearing up, Magnus turned around and left the kitchen, heading straight to the balcony. He desperately needed some fresh air to calm down. To get his emotions back under control. 

Jesus, he was pathetic.

Magnus stepped outside and took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. Starting to pace around the balcony, Magnus knew he had to let go, also that he could trust Alec. But yet, he kept fighting to hold his emotions at bay. 

Magnus couldn't have a breakdown. 

Not in front of Alec. 

He would leave him then, Magnus was absolutely sure about that.

"Magnus?" 

Of course, Alec had realized that he had left the kitchen. Feeling more and more frustrated and angry with himself, Magnus, standing with his back towards Alec, bent his head in his direction and snapped at Alec, without wanting it.

"What?"

Alec stopped dead in his tracks, his expression turning from worried to confused. 

"I...uhm...I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he answered, suddenly insecure. And if it was possible, Magnus hated himself even more for that. Alec had been just kind and patient with him, and Magnus snapped at his boyfriend because he _ cared _ about his wellbeing. 

But he couldn't help it.

"I'm _ not _ okay, Alexander, if you might realize," he started to snap again, once more, feeling his lips tremble, his hands shaking. He fought hard to not break down, but it felt more and more impossible.

"I know...I meant for now...Magnus," Alec started, trying to get closer to him, but Magnus backed away. 

As much as he wanted, no, _ needed _ Alec's arms around him, Magnus was so fucking angry at himself. He couldn't allow himself the comfort, Alec so selflessly offered him. His boyfriend stopped once more, watching him with worry written all over his handsome face. 

Magnus tried to use this moment to get away from Alec, despite his wishes, of course. Maybe, if he wasn't around Alec, he could fight his emotions back. 

He was acting on autopilot, nothing made sense, but Magnus couldn't stop it. He was desperate.

"Magnus..." Alec, of course, didn't let him get away so smoothly. 

"Magnus, I love you. I love you!" Alec said desperately. He wrapped his arms around him at the moment, Magnus tried to pass Alec. 

"I know...I know you do..." Magnus answered desperately, his voice breaking. He stiffened at the contact, the comfort Alec offered him, his hands still shaking. 

Magnus tried to fight Alec's embrace, tried to get out of it without success. He pushed against Alec with all his force, tried to hit him with his fists. Magnus was a strong man, no one could hold him in place so easily if Magnus didn't want to. But Alec remained steady, holding onto him all so effortlessly, whispering soothing nonsense into his ear as he did so.

"It's okay. I've got you."

"Just let go."

"I won't leave you, Magnus."

And at one point, Magnus couldn't fight it anymore. His shoulders slumped, his hands found hold onto Alec's waist, holding on to him in a firm grip. Magnus would be afraid to hurt his boyfriend if things were normal. But he didn't care, didn't even think about it.

More and more shudder ran down his spine, his eyes teared up. Magnus tried to blink them away, but this time, he had no chance. The moment the first tear dared to stream down his cheeks, Magnus knew he'd lost his inner fight.

"Alexander," he whispered brokenly when the first silent sob escaped his throat.

"I'm here, Magnus. I've got you," Alec whispered in response, holding Magnus as close as possible. And that was what made his inner walls finally breaking down. More and more tears streamed down his face, wettening Alec's shirt. 

Magnus didn't cry loud. Muffled sobs were to be heard, and his whole body shook. If it hadn't been for Alec's firm grip on him, Magnus was sure he would have fallen to the ground. Grateful for the hold, Alec offered him, Magnus clung to his boyfriend and let everything out that he'd tried to hide. From anyone. From him as well.

And Alec? He held him close for as long as Magnus cried, being patient and whispering soothing words into his ears.

At some point, silent sobs became muffled sniffles. Magnus loosened the grip on Alec's hip, his whole body lost his tension as more and more exhaustion flooded through his body.

"Come on, let's get inside, you need to sit down," Alec murmured gently when Magnus finally had calmed down enough. 

Magnus nodded in response. He let Alec guide him inside to the couch and made him sit down. Alec immediately was at his side, holding him once more. Magnus gratefully leaned against him.

"I'm sorry for that..." he mumbled wearily. But he didn't feel ashamed anymore...more relaxed, and drained.

"Don't be...I guess that needed to come out for a while," Alec answered, squeezing Magnus gently.

"Well...I think you're right," Magnus simply answered, feeling so tired at that very moment. He closed his eyes and leaned heavier against his boyfriend.

"And I think you need some more rest," Alec answered tenderly. "Want me to stay?"

"Please. Please, Alexander..."

"Of course."

Magnus suddenly didn't feel bad anymore for asking. He briefly wondered why. But in the end, Magnus didn't really care. 

What he did care about was that Alec made them lay down and wrapped a blanket around them. 

That he cradled Magnus to his chest and held him close. 

That when he would wake up later, he surely would feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you're all doing fine, and I wanted to thank you all for the kudos and comments on the previous chapter ♥ its much appreciated! :)
> 
> I've never been on any social media before, but I thought why not? So I made this account on Twitter and I might be clumsy and I'm sure that I don't know what I'm doing, but if you want to reach out and have a little chat with me, feel free to contact me :)  
I'm @clarasophia90 on Twitter and can't wait to meet you :)
> 
> Have a great weekend ♥


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking care of Magnus part II

Catarina was worried...worried and furious. 

Alec had promised to update her on Magnus' condition in the morning. It was past noon, and she hadn't heard from him by now. Knowing that Magnus wasn't exactly an early bird, she'd given him time until now.

Catarina had tried to call Magnus many times until now but went straight to the mailbox.

Fearing the worst, she brought Madzie to a friend of hers after school and headed straight to Magnus' home afterward.

None of Magnus' previous partners had been interested in taking care of him when he wasn't feeling well. They'd backed off, telling him that he was too much for them to handle. Magnus had been left hurt so many times, even Catarina couldn't count anymore. Magnus didn't deserve any of that. He was so precious. Such a beautiful soul, despite everything that had happened to him.

Yet, Alec, from the beginning, had been different. He and Magnus had grown so close in such a short amount of time. Catarina had never seen Magnus so happy. And she knew him since the orphanage they'd both grown up in. 

Alec had promised to take care of Magnus, and Catarina had believed him without a doubt. Not having heard from him since yesterday made her worry...and angry. 

Parking her car in front of Magnus' apartment complex, she quickly got out of the car and locked it. Gladly, Catarina had a spare key, and she used it without reservation, for she desperately wanted to know how Magnus was doing. He might've been all alone during the night, and Catarina's stomach clenched painfully at these thoughts.

Opening the door silently, Catarina listened for a moment before she stepped inside the apartment. 

No sound was to be heard. 

Carefully, Catarina peeked into every room, looking out for Magnus. 

And when she finally found him, Catarina felt her eyes tearing up at the sight of him.

He was peacefully asleep on the couch in his living room. And Alec was holding him, lazily drawing circles on his upper arm with his fingers. Alec apparently was awake, so Catarina decided to step closer after a moment of hesitation.

* * *

* * *

Alec bent his head a little when he heard movements behind him

only to be faced with Catarina, who was watching Magnus and him with a strange expression.

"Cat?" He asked silently, not wanting for Magnus to wake up sooner than necessary. He needed the rest.

Slowly, Catarina came closer, taking a glimpse at Magnus, who was still lying peacefully in his arms.

"You didn't text me..." Catarina began in a silent voice, but Alec cut her off quietly.

"My phone is still in the bedroom. I'm really sorry. I wanted to update you. But I didn't want to wake Magnus or leave him alone in case he would wake up," he whispered. Alec couldn't have done this to Magnus, for it was too evident that he didn't want to be left alone.

"It's okay...I just thought...oh guess what? Nevermind. I'm just glad that you're here with him." Catarina answered. And now, that she was closer, Alec could see what made her expression strange. Tears were glistening in her eyes, and it was unmistakable that she'd been in stress to say at least.

"You thought I'd left him?" Alec asked then, his voice still silent and calm. He wasn't angry, though, just curious. Magnus hadn't really talked to him about his previous partners, but Alec had some thoughts about it. 

And Catarina's behavior just proved it.

"I feared it. It wouldn't suit your character, I know that. Alec, forgive me that I even dared to think that. Magnus has had partners who didn't give a shit about him. Especially Camille. And I think that I just freaked out when I didn't hear from you. Magnus is my best friend, and I care a lot about him."

"It's okay. Honestly." Alec smiled gently at Catarina. how could he be angry at her? "You're a great friend, and I'm glad that you came in to check on Magnus."

Catarina smiled in reply, taking another look at Magnus, who still was fast asleep.

"How's he doing?"

"Well, I have nothing to compare to, but I think that he will be okay," Alec mused thoughtfully. "He wasn't in good condition yesterday. This morning neither. But I think we made progress earlier," he explained silently, looking at Catarina. At least that was what he was hoping. But after his breakdown, Magnus had appeared to be more relaxed. And, most importantly, he'd asked for what he wanted. And in Alec's view, that was progress.

"I'm so glad to hear that. You can't imagine." Catarina's voice carried so much relief, it gave Alec chills. He smiled at Magnus' best friend once more.

"I can. I'm just as relieved as you are. If my assumption is right, of course," Alec added silently. Catarina nodded in understanding.

"As far as I see it, you made more progress with him than anyone before. So, I think you're right. Thank you, Alec. For taking care of him," she said with a soft smile. 

"It was, and still is my pleasure. I'm glad, Magnus, let me take care of him."

"He trust's you," Catarina simply answered before adding something more. "He had a hard time trusting anyone after Camille. But you made it through his walls. And I'm so thrilled to see that. To see how far you two have come...together."

Alec smiled, hearing those words from Catarina. He knew she liked him, but what she'd told him...it was something special.

"Okay... I'm going to make lunch for you before I head home, that okay? I want to make it up to you for thinking so wrong about you." Catarina asked then, making Alec nod eagerly. He hadn't been able to have breakfast, nor a coffee earlier. Not that Alec cared about it. Magnus was more important, and Alec would gladly lay here, holding him for the rest of the day and into the night if necessary. But he couldn't deny that he was starving. 

"That would be very nice, thank you." 

When Magnus would wake up later, he would surely be hungry as well. They hadn't eaten since yesterday, with dinner being left half-finished in the oven.

"And I'll call Isabelle...let her know that everything's fine. She called for at least five times this morning," Catarina explained with a soft expression before she turned around to prepare lunch. 

* * *

* * *

Magnus woke up to an incredible smell. Breathing in, he'd realized, besides the beautiful scent of Alec, that someone most certainly had made his favorite food. 

Opening his eyes carefully, the first thing Magnus saw was Alec's clothed chest, just like when he'd fallen asleep earlier. Alec was still holding him firmly in his arms, breathing relaxed as he did so. Bending his head a little, Magnus was met with the beautiful and handsome face of his Alexander - who still was with him besides everything Magnus had said and done. To state, he was surprised was an understatement.

"Hey," Alec's gentle voice greeted him, eyes lightening up as he tenderly smiled at him. 

"Hey," Magnus greeted back, realizing how dry his throat was, how hoarse his voice.

"How are you doing?" Alec asked, concern suddenly written all over his face. He cradled Magnus a little bit closer if that was possible and waited patiently for an answer. And Magnus gratefully took his time. He needed it. Lying to Alec wasn't an option. And he would stop doing this to himself as well.

"I feel...lighter?" Magnus then asked shyly. "Better," he added, sheepishly looking at Alec. He wanted to apologize once more for his behavior, but before he could bring out only one word, Alec stopped him.

"I'm glad then. Don't be sorry for anything, okay? Or ashamed. There's no reason for it," Alec stated firmly, though tenderly and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you," he added silently, squeezing Magnus lovingly. 

Magnus couldn't believe how Alec was even real, what he'd done to deserve such an incredible human being. What he'd done to deserve so much love. Love Magnus had been craving for such a long time. Fresh tears stung in his still puffy eyes at the thought of how lucky he'd become.

"I love you too, Alexander. Thank you for coping with me," Magnus hoarsely whispered after they pulled apart from their kiss.

"Thank you for letting me," Alec answered honestly. "And I would do it anytime, okay? Don't forget that. As long as you let me, I'm not going anywhere," he added firmly, looking Magnus in the eyes, leaving no room for doubts or backtalk. That was a side of Alec, Magnus hadn't seen until now. 

He loved it. 

Alec left not a single doubt in Magnus about the previous night and the morning. He genuinely  _ wanted _ to take care of Magnus. 

"Okay. Though I have to confess that I might need some time to get used to it," Magnus admitted honestly, feeling so  _ loved _ at this very moment that he was surprised that he could actually talk.

"Take your time. Remember when you told me to be patient and keep trying? Just do the same, okay? And I will prove to you that it's worth it," Alec said solemnly, watching Magnus with the fondest expression in his hazel eyes.

And finally, Magnus felt the sides of his lips lifting up in a smile, yet a slight, but a genuine one.

"Thank you, Alexander. Will do that, I promise," he answered, nodding a little. 

"Good. That's all I'm asking for."

The way Alec looked at him, made Magnus recognize once more how far he'd come since they met. He'd changed so much, to the positive. It was delightful to see it.

"I didn't know you were so talkative," Magnus answered, squeezing Alec himself now, before pressing his lips against Alec's. "Thank you for saying the right things when I needed them most," Magnus added, honestly grateful for Alec being in his life. For being at his side.

Alec blushed a little at his words, but smiled right back at him, his handsome face lighting up Magnus' whole existence.

"It's easy with you," Alec simply answered, surprising Magnus once more.

"There are some things I want to tell you," Magnus answered. "If it's easy for you, I want it to be as easy for me. And you deserve to know."

"But only if you are ready," Alec stated. Magnus was grateful that Alec actually wanted to give him time. But Magnus knew he needed to talk about it. 

As much as he hated to only think about Camille.

"I am."

"Okay. I'll listen to you. But Catarina's here, making lunch for us. Is that okay with you? Or..." Alec started, but Magnus stopped him by bringing his hand upon Alec's.

"Of course it is...did you call her?" Magnus asked curiously. 

"No...no, I guess she was here to check on you and if it's legal to kill me," Alec answered, his voice carrying a little amusement with him. Magnus only raised his brow in a silent question.

"I was supposed to keep her updated on your condition. But I couldn't because I didn't want to leave you, not only for a second. And Cat decided to come over to see you with her own eyes. I'm glad she came over, though, she's a great friend," Alec answered, bringing once more fresh tears to Magnus' eyes. Alec...his Alexander...he was unique. 

He was so wonderful and caring. 

He didn't even mind his friends coming into their home whenever they wanted. God, how many of his partners had complained about it?

Magnus never had something like that before. 

He would cherish Alec until the end of his days, that was for sure.

"Oh Alexander, you don't know what that means to me," Magnus only murmured gratefully.

"I do...because it means as much to me when you're taking care of me when I have a bad day. When you accept everything that comes with me. My siblings, for example, or their partners," Alec answered tenderly. "You did so much and made me feel better and safe. You deserve just as much as you're doing for me every single time," he added, bringing another slight, but honest smile to Magnus' face.

"Okay," he simply answered, believing every word, Alec was telling him. 

Something had changed during his rest, Magnus could feel it deep inside him. If he'd thought he trusted Alec before, that was nothing compared to what he felt now.

"Let's go get some food?" Magnus asked then, realizing how hungry he was by now, as another smell of food reached his nostrils.

"Sure! I'm starving," Alec agreed eagerly. Magnus looked at him, suddenly feeling bad. 

"You didn't eat anything?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Of course, Alec couldn't have eaten anything. But Magnus' brain still had to catch up with some things.

"No. As I sad, I stayed with you," Alec answered as a matter of fact, yet patiently. "That was more important to me."

"God, Alexander. I don't deserve you," Magnus answered.

"You deserve everything good in this world, Magnus. Don't argue on that, because it's true."

Alec planted another tender kiss on his lips before they slowly pulled apart. It felt strange to not be close to Alec, Magnus realized soon. And the moment Alec took his hand in his, Magnus knew that his boyfriend felt just the same. He squeezed Alec's hand tenderly before letting go of it.

"I'll go to the bathroom, meet you at the kitchen?" Magnus asked then, looking at Alec. He didn't feel embarrassed any more for last night and this morning. Alec made him feel safe and loved.

"Sure," Alec agreed, planting another kiss on Magnus' lips before both rose to their feet and left the living room together with Alec heading to the kitchen, and Magnus to the bathroom.

The moment, Magnus stepped out of the bath, he recognized his dear friend Catarina already waiting for him. Cracking a slight smile at her, he raised his brow in question.

"Magnus. Are you okay?" 

Jesus, how much he loved Catarina. Thanking God once more for bringing her into his life, Magnus decided to be honest with her. 

"Not quite there yet. But better than ever before after those...occasions," Magnus admitted. Though he didn't fear for Alec to leave him anymore, Camille's words still haunted him. Not as loud as last night and this morning, but yet.

"I'm so relieved to hear that, Magnus."

Obviously assuming that Magnus needed some space, though he just desperately craved for someone to hold him, Catarina took her distance. And usually, Magnus didn't ask for what he needed, simply couldn't. 

Well, things were different this time.

"How about a big bear hug, Cat?" Magnus asked shyly, stepping closer to his friend. Asking for what he wanted, wasn't easy during those circumstances, but after what Alec had told him, Magnus just did it. 

And felt better with every time he didn't experience rejection.

"Oh, Magnus, of course!"

Catarina was on him within a second, pulling him into a loving and long-lasting embrace. She apparently was glad that he voiced what he wanted. And Magnus hugged her back just as firmly. Thoroughly enjoying the embrace, they stood there for a while until they pulled apart again.

"I heard you were here to kill my dearest Alexander?" Magnus asked, his voice carrying a silent tease with him. He was surprised by himself at that but went straight with it. Magnus hated to feel that down...but Alec, and Cat, they made him feel so much better. 

"Oh, I was furious. Alec didn't answer my calls nor replied to my texts. So yes. If he'd left you, I would be on his ass by now," Catarina answered, though smiling gently. "He's such a good guy. I'm glad you two found each other."

"Can't disagree with that," Magnus answered as they made their way to the kitchen. Alec was his personal jackpot, and if he was allowed to go that far, the love of his life.

Magnus, Alec, and Catarina enjoyed their lunch together, before Cat left, hugging both men tightly.

It was just then that Magnus took Alec's hand in his.

"Join me in the shower?" He asked, still sheepishly, but yet he met Alec's eyes. 

"Yes." Alec nodded gently, squeezing Magnus' hand before they made their way into the bathroom.

"Being fully naked with me okay?" Magnus asked. Yes, they'd shared a bath here and there, but showering was something different. They would see each other. Really see each other.

"Absolutely." Seeing the truth in Alec's eyes, Magnus nodded, showing a tender and grateful smile.

"Thank you," he murmured, really appreciating what Alec was doing for him.

They undressed silently after Magnus turned on the water. After checking the temperature, Magnus stepped under the hot water stream, reaching his hand out for Alec. He took Magnus' hand and followed him suit.

"Okay?"

"Okay...you...you can look if you want," Alec admitted, his cheeks colored in an adorable shade of red. 

Magnus had always made sure, on previous times, when they took a bath together, to not look at Alec past his waist until he would give his permission. 

"Are you sure, Alexander?" He asked, looking at Alec, who nodded and smiled shyly.

"Yes. I mean...I wanted to say that for a while now, but somehow I was afraid. And now it just feels...right, I guess," Alec answered, making Magnus smile tenderly at his oh so precious boyfriend. So today would be the day they would share their fears. Naked and honest. 

Well, Magnus couldn't think of a better way to do this.

And with that, Magnus let his eyes roam over Alec's stunning, lean and muscular body. He was built absolutely perfect in Magnus' eyes in every way possible. And that was, what Magnus would tell Alec...show him at some point when Alec was ready.

"God, Alexander. You are so goddamn beautiful. Perfect," Magnus whispered, his eyes finding Alec's once more. 

Alec was looking at him, his face all red. A small smile turned his beautiful lips up, and Magnus immediately knew that he believed him.

"Thank you?" He asked more than giving a statement, making Magnus smile once more. "Uhm...Just as you," Alec added sheepishly before he stepped closer to Magnus to bring him into his arms. Magnus gladly wrapped his own arms around Alec's body.

With both feeling the intimacy this new act brought with them, neither of them said a word for a while.

It was Magnus who started to talk after another moment. His head buried against Alec's perfectly haired chest, he began to tell his story.

"I told you the story about my parents, right? Well, I started to date people really early in my life. I've had many partners, one night stands...always searching for love. No, scratch that, for being loved for who I am. And well, people started to tell me that I'm too much to handle. Too clingy. Too ephemeral, which is funny by the way, because I'm the most permanent person someone could ever meet. But well, where did I stop? Ah. Not someone to share a future with. Not loveable. But I tried again, and again, and again."

Alec's grip around Magnus' body increased. Magnus gladly leaned more into his boyfriend's touch, grateful for the hold he gave him.

"There were a few who really tried to...love me. To stay with me. But in the end, it was always the same. They left me."

Magnus stopped for a moment, thinking about what to say next before he continued.

"I met Camille about ten years ago, in the middle of my twenties. I was building my first club, the Pandemonium. You might know her, she's a model and an actress. She was supposed to be the face of the flyers for my club. Well, I fell in love with her very fast and very hard. Our relationship was quite...intense. We moved in together after a few months of dating. I thought we were on equal footing, but I was so blind, Alexander. Camille...she started with small things. Saying my make-up was a bit too much, for example. Soon, she began to complain about my jewelry, my clothes, my hair. And in the end, I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was Catarina and Ragnor, who is also a very close friend of mine, who finally opened my eyes. And the fact that I found Camille with another man. In our bed."

"Magnus." Alec's voice carried so much pain for him, making Magnus' stomach clench. He squeezed Alec tenderly.

"It's okay, darling. There's not much more to come. I wanted to throw her out of the apartment. And well, she didn't want to leave, saying she was pregnant with my child." Magnus chuckled bitterly. He'd always wanted a family. 

Two children and a partner to be happy with. 

A cat to make his luck perfect. 

"Of course, I didn't throw her out after that. I tried to forget about everything. I did everything, Camille asked me for, and she wasn't pleased very fast. After two more months, I came home from work and found that Camille had left me. Her clothes...everything was gone. I called Ragnor, who helped me looking for her. Well...we found her soon after. In the arms of another man, laughing at me for believing in her pregnancy. I was...devastated, to say at least, Alexander. It was one of the worst times of my life. Before I could leave, Camille didn't waste on telling me what other people told me before. Things I tried to forget. To not let close to my heart. But Camille managed for me to believe in her words."

"Magnus... I'm so sorry for all of that," Alec whispered hoarsely. Magnus carefully lifted his head to look at him, surprised to see tears in his boyfriends' eyes. "You didn't deserve that," Alec added, making Magnus smile sadly at him. He lifted one hand to cup Alec's cheek. 

"Thank you, darling. Camille's words yesterday...they affected me so much because the thought of being left once more...being left by you...it terrified me." 

Magnus had always had a wanderer's heart. Over the years, he had adventured in so many different places, always looking for something that would fulfill his restless hunger. Magnus never realized how all the pieces could fall together, how a home could be somewhere, and someone. 

He belonged with Alec. 

His wandering heart finally could rest, because Alec...he just seemed to feel the same way.

"You told me that I'm not too much to handle for you, Alexander. And I'm baring the depths of my very being to you. I love you, Alexander. More than I ever loved anyone before. Because of you, I was able to let the walls down I built up so flawlessly over the last years. Now you know everything about me, every issue, every fear. There are no more secrets."

Magnus stopped talking then, looking at Alec for another moment, before he felt his boyfriend's lips on his, kissing him tenderly, yet passionately. 

"I love you too, Magnus. I really do without a doubt. All these people. They were wrong. You are not too much. They just weren't right for you. You are perfect, and I will do everything to show you that. If needed every day of our life."

Magnus' eyes teared up once more for the day, as he smiled at Alec.

"I really don't know what I did to deserve you, Alexander. But thank you. Honestly. Thank you."

No one, ever, had done something like Alec had done for him in the past 24 hours. And in the weeks before. 

Magnus had never felt so loved, so cared about before. And that, despite the fears, Alec was going through on his own. 

Despite everything that happened to this precious man in front of him, he was able to show Magnus that.

"Same here, Magnus. I don't know what I did either. If it weren't for you...well, you know," Alec answered, the adoration clear in his hazel eyes. Magnus only nodded before he stretched a little and pecked Alec's lips in a tender kiss.

They stood like that for a while. Embracing each other, feeling the love they shared. Neither of them wanted to let go.

But at some point, when the water started to get cold, they turned it off, drying themselves off before they headed for the bedroom. It was still early, both knew it. But all Magnus and Alec wanted was to share some more closeness. 

Neither of them put clothes on before they laid down under the comforter. 

Magnus was back in Alec's arms within a second, placing his head, his hair still damp, on Alec's chest. 

"How do you feel?" Alec asked his voice nothing more than a whisper. He held Magnus as close as possible, his hand moving up and down his back.

"Better. Loved," Magnus answered as silent as Alec. "Thank you, Alexander, for everything," he added silently, squeezing his boyfriend tenderly.

"Always, Magnus. I'm here whenever you need me."

And the last thing, Magnus remembered, before falling back to sleep a few hours later, was an honest smile crossing his lips as he felt safe, loved, and protected in Alec's arms.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the last chapter on this story and it contains sexual content. If you don't like it, please skip the middle part and you will be fine :)  
Please note, that this is my first time EVER writing smut and that I feel very nervous about it, and that english isn't my first language.   
I would appreciate if you'd tell me how you liked it! Constructive criticism is very appreciated ♥

When Magnus awoke the following morning, he let his eyes closed and just relished that he was still lying in Alec's arms. His head was placed onto his boyfriend's chest, and Magnus felt so comfortable as if he belonged in just that spot. Alec was, even in his sleep, holding him firmly. It was perfect.

  
Magnus couldn't help but smile a little before he bent his head to plant a tender kiss onto Alec's chest.

  
He didn't know how early it was, but Magnus wasn't able to fall back to sleep. He'd slept enough in the previous day and felt honestly well-rested.   
So Magnus, all so carefully, left the warmth of Alec's body, gladly without waking his precious boyfriend. Magnus was sure that Alec needed a little more rest, so he decided to let him sleep for another while until he would wake up on his own.

  
He also decided to order breakfast for both of them. Magnus wasn't in the mood to make some by himself, but he was starving, and besides, he wanted something special. Something, Magnus knew Alec would love. 

  
After that was done, he went to the bathroom to make himself presentable. He'd only put on some briefs and his favorite silk robe before starting to style his hair.   
Starting hesitantly, Magnus feared to hear his ex's voice, like always when he met her. But, to his surprise, there was nothing but the familiar calm that he always felt when taking care of himself.

  
Looking him straight into the eyes through the mirror, Magnus smiled at his reflection. He couldn't remember feeling so much at ease, all the more after meeting Camille. Alec, like Magnus had told him, had just found the right words yesterday to well, to heal a part of Magnus' soul he'd thought was beyond repair.

  
Smiling once more, Magnus caught a movement in the mirror. His eyes moving into the direction, he found Alec standing in the doorframe, watching him with a tender smile. His hair was messy as always in the morning, a dark stubble making his out-of-bed-look perfect. Alec was just wearing some boxers and a shirt, he'd obviously left on the ground before. What. A. Sight. He looked goddamn gorgeous.

  
"Morning, darling," Magnus greeted him and turned around to face his boyfriend properly.   
"Morning," Alec answered, smiling at him before he stepped closer. "Are you okay?" He then asked as Magnus met him halfway. Magnus nodded before planting a tender kiss on Alec's lips.

  
"More than okay, Alexander," he answered honestly, smiling as Alec stole another kiss from his lips.  
"I'm glad then," Alec answered, the relief evident in his voice that was still thick with sleep. Trying to hide a yawn, Alec smiled once more at Magnus.  
"You're still tired, go catch up on some more sleep," Magnus suggested tenderly. "I promise I'll be fine," he added, knowing that Alec needed the reassurement. And Magnus felt sure about that. He felt so much better, calm, and loved.   
There were no more fears left.

  
"But I missed you," Alec simply answered, bringing his arms around Magnus, pulling him against his chest. Magnus gladly went with the hug, bringing his own arms around Alec's waist.

  
"I'm right here," Magnus answered, tilting his head to look at his wonderful boyfriend. He didn't intend to go anywhere.

  
"And I'm right with you," Alec told him, pecking his lips tenderly before squeezing him again.

  
"I know, darling. You showed it to me, and I do not doubt anything when it comes to you."

  
"Good. Coffee?" Alec asked then, a smile appearing on his lips as he changed the topic. "I really could need some, now that I'm awake anyway," he added, earning a nod from Magnus.

  
"Sounds pretty good. I'll just finish my makeup," Magnus answered with a smile. Alec nodded in agreement.

  
"Take your time, I'll get everything ready for us. Latte macchiato?"

  
"Please," Magnus answered, stealing another kiss from Alec before he let go of him. "I join you in the kitchen in a few. Oh...I ordered breakfast, it'll be there in a few."  
After Alec left him, Magnus took care of his makeup but decided to not put on more clothes for now. He felt comfortable in his robe, so why not wearing it a while longer?  
He sauntered out of the bath into the kitchen, where he found his Alexander preparing breakfast for them. Magnus hadn't heard it coming.

  
"Smells delicious," he delightfully said as he came to a halt behind Alec, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's torso.  
Alec leaned himself against Magnus, putting his hands over his own. 

"I totally agree. I can't wait to dig in," Alec answered, making Magnus chuckle. 

"Then let's not let you wait for too long. Can't have one of my favorite humans starve," he answered amusedly, earning a gentle squeeze from Alec's hand before he let go of it. Magnus placed a kiss onto Alec's back before he put his arms away. 

They set the table on the balcony together. The weather was just too great to sit inside. Soon after, both dug in, enjoying their breakfast in comfortable silence, smiling at each other from time to time. It was Alec who finally broke the silence.

"I'm glad to see you smile again," he said, apparently happy as he looked at Magnus with so much fondness in his expression.

"I'm glad as well, Alexander. Thank you once more for coping with me while I felt so down."  
Magnus knew he'd told Alec so often how grateful he was, but he couldn't help his feelings. Alec was so precious, and Magnus wanted him to know much he appreciated his boyfriends' help.

"I'd do it anytime, Magnus."

"I know, darling. That applies to you, too. In the good and in the bad times."

Magnus knew when he found someone special. And he wouldn't let Alec go. If it was up to him, they would grow old together. And now, after everything that had happened, Magnus somehow knew that Alec didn't intend on leaving as well.

"Yes," Alec tenderly agreed, reaching out for Magnus' hand. They entwined their fingers, and Magnus, overly happy, leaned his head on Alec's shoulder. 

* * *

* * *

It was a few days later that Alec and Magnus laid in bed after an exhausting day. Alec finally had gotten a job in a small but unique bookstore owned by an old couple.

Their children weren't interested in absorbing the store, so they were searching for someone to help them. Alec, from the moment he'd stepped into the store, had loved it there. He came around pretty well with the old couple, and they'd given him the job very soon.

He'd started working there two days ago and was thrilled to finally being able to do something. To earn his own money.

Magnus, once more, got to know a new side of his boyfriend. It was great to see him, so at ease. He couldn't be more proud of what Alec had become.

Magnus himself had started to plan on opening another nightclub. He didn't need the money, but well, he had fun organizing this kind of business. It was exhausting, yes.

But from time to time, Magnus needed a new challenge.

But for now, all Magnus and Alec did, were enjoying each other. Something they did a lot lately. They had less time with each other, with both of them working, but they decided to make the best out of it.

Passionately kissing each other, Magnus let his hand glide over Alec's naked and perfect-haired chest, his thumb brushing a nipple by accident. Finding Alec moan silently into their kiss, Magnus was surprised but decided to try a little more. Putting Alec's nipple between his index finger and his thumb, Magnus pinched them lightly, earning another moan, making his already hard cock twitch in excitement. They hadn't done more than kissing and touching each other casually, though they'd started to do it naked recently. But this time, it felt different in so many ways.

"Is that okay, Alexander?" Magnus asked, needing the assurance from his boyfriend that he wasn't crossing a line, Alec wasn't ready for.

"Feels...good," Alec mumbled sheepishly, ducking his head a little. He already was out of breath, also appeared to be a bit overwhelmed at this new feeling. Magnus wasn't surprised by that. 

Alec had never witnessed any of that before. Everything was new to him.

"Just tell me if you're uncomfortable, darling," Magnus whispered, pinching Alec's nipple all so lightly once more, earning another moan followed by a short nod.

"Just...just don't stop," Alec answered shakily. 

His own arms started to move up and down Magnus' naked back before Alec's mouth found Magnus' once more. They kissed each other passionately for quite a while before Magnus let his hands wander once more. 

The need for air made them pull apart, but Magnus didn't waste time. His mouth found the crook of Alec's neck, licking the soft flesh there. Alec gasped at this sensation and tilted his head, giving Magnus more space. 

Magnus kissed the place, letting his tongue follow right away, before blowing onto the moistured skin, making the flesh crawl.

"M...Magnus," Alec moaned, his breath already came in short gasps, as he looked at his boyfriend full of lust and also so much vulnerability. 

"I...I..." he started, and Magnus gently smiled at him, giving Alec all the time he would need to voice what he wanted. Cupping his boyfriends' cheek for a moment, he cajoled.

"It's okay. Whatever you want. You can tell me. I've got you," Magnus whispered tenderly, before kissing Alec passionately, yet full of love.

"I...please...Magnus...touch me," Alec answered after they broke apart in need of air. "I...I want you...that...please," he added, almost whining as he looked pleadingly at Magnus. It was evident that Alec was overwhelmed, but the trust and want in his boyfriend's eyes made Magnus' decision easy.

"I will, of course, touch you if you want that, Alexander," he answered patiently, looking at Alec, who exhaled a breath he was obviously holding. He was so nervous, and Magnus understood that pretty well. "But we'll take our time. I want you to feel as good as possible," he added, lifting his hand to cup Alec's cheek. "You can tell me to stop whenever you feel too overwhelmed, okay? Just say it, and we can call it a night," Magnus assured his boyfriend. He didn't want to force Alec into anything he wasn't ready for.

"I want that...I just...I don't know what to do, Magnus. How to tell you, to show you," Alec answered frustratedly, bringing his forehead against Magnus' as he spoke. 

"You, darling, you don't have to do anything tonight, besides receiving and, hopefully, enjoying. Let me take care of you. Remember that we have all the time in the world. There's no rush. You'll learn faster than you think, trust me," Magnus assured Alec, gently brushing his thumb over Alec's cheekbone. "The time will come when you'll be able to tell me what you want, what you need. And until then, I'm here for you."

"Okay. Thank you," Alec whispered, evidently grateful for Magnus' words. A little smile lifted up Alec's lips for a moment.

"There's no need to, Alexander We're in this together, don't forget that. We're doing this all at your pace," Magnus murmured, before kissing Alec gently, who hummed in agreement while kissing Magnus back just as tenderly. They watched each other for a while. Alec's beautiful eyes were darkened in arousal, his cheeks blushed lightly. Magnus' heart fluttered in joy at this sight in front of him.

"I'm going to let my hands wander now, okay? Just remember to tell me when you don't like something. It's totally fine."

"I will," Alec answered, almost as if out of breath before he brought his lips back onto Magnus' once more, kissing him in a fierce Magnus hadn't known Alec was able to. And Jesus, it felt absolutely awesome.

While the kiss became more and more heated, Magnus let his hands wander over Alec's gorgeous body, let his nails gently scratch over the sensitive spots on Alec's body, he'd gotten to know over the time. Hearing Alec moaning and wincing in pleasure, Magnus felt his own cock getting impossibly hard.

"God, Alexander...the sounds you make," Magnus moaned by himself now, letting his hands wander over Alec's hipbones and tighs, not paying his cock any attention for now. "Beautiful," he praised as Alec whined once more, his hips bucking into Magnus direction before he came to a halt.

"Don't stop, darling, it's okay to move," Magnus whispered, sensing the fear that came off from Alec for doing something wrong. "Nothing's wrong here, I've got you."

"Magnus," Alec winced. "I...I need you to touch me," he almost begged, blushing furiously at his own words. At his needs.

"I will...thank you for telling me," Magnus gently answered, assuring Alec that he did just right with telling Magnus what he needed.

And so, Magnus did just that. He couldn't let Alec wait much longer. 

His own heart pounding in his chest, Magnus let his hand gently touch the full length of Alec’s already leaking and throbbing shaft. Both moaned at the touch, their lips connected once more in a heated kiss. 

Alec's hand wandered to Magnus' shoulders, squeezing him almost painfully. But Magnus couldn't care less as he gently wrapped his hand around Alec's cock.   
Giving it a gentle stroke, Alec sucked in a breath as his hip once more moved on his own, making him buck into Magnus' hand.

"That's it, Alexander," Magnus encouragingly said, not able to hide an aroused groan as he saw the expression on Alec's face. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open, his cheeks blushed as another moan escaped his boyfriend's lips. Letting his thumb flick over the head of Alec's cock, he tightened the grip soon after, knowing that his boyfriend wouldn't last long. 

It was Alec's first time ever, after all.

"Magnus," Alec moaned as a shudder ran through his body.

"All good?" Magnus asked while stroking Alec's length with his hand. Seeing his boyfriend nodding, not able to say anything, Magnus kept up the strokes, slowly tightening his grip and increasing his speed. 

"You...," Alec moaned, overwhelmed by the new feeling he was experiencing. But yet, he didn't forget to think about Magnus. 

A fact that still gave Magnus chills.

"That's about you, Alexander. Don't worry about me," Magnus answered, tilting his head once more to gently bite his boyfriend's neck.

But, despite moaning, Alec shook his head and opened his eyes. His dark eyes found Magnus'. And Magnus didn't need much more despite the look on Alec's face. 

He gave in, well aware that he had told his boyfriend to voice what he wanted, and that Alec was doing that right now.  
Magnus let go of Alec's hard length, earning a sound of protest coming from Alec.

"Just a moment," Magnus murmured gently. As he moved closer, he felt Alec’s cock sliding up against his own. Both men sighed in pleasure at the moment they came in touch. 

At a slow pace, Magnus started to grind against Alec's length, letting his boyfriend get used to the new feeling. It didn't take them long to moan against each other's lips while sharing a hot and eager kiss. Alec soon started to shyly mirror his moves, and God help him if it didn't felt like heaven to Magnus.

Soon, their movements became more frantic, more erratic. Knowing that they wouldn't get off that way, Magnus reached down between their bodies and wrapped his hand around both of them. A grunt escaped Alec's lips, as Magnus coated both their cocks with their pre-cum and started to pump them in earnest. 

The feeling of their two cocks against each other, his hand moving around them, pumping them at a fast pace, was so much more intense than everything, Magnus had felt before.

"Magnus," Alec almost whimpered his hand still at his shoulders, holding Magnus in a tight squeeze. "I'm gonna..."

"Let go for me, darling," Magnus only moaned, knowing that he wouldn't last much longer than Alec. "I've got you, come for me," he brought out, finding Alec's lips once more as they shared another kiss full of passion and love. 

Feeling a shudder running through Alec's body, a loud moan escaped him as he spilled all over their stomachs in a powerful orgasm. And that was all it took for Magnus to follow him suit. 

Magnus gently stroke both of them through their release, his other arm snaking around Alec to hold him close.

It took them quite a while to catch their breaths, both aware of the intensity this act brought with it.

"Magnus," Alec only whispered after another moment passed by, snuggling impossibly closer to him. Magnus let go of their now softening cocks and brought his other arm around Alec as well, hugging him to his steamy chest. He couldn't care less at that very moment. Holding his dearest Alexander as he started to shudder in his arms was all, Magnus could focus on.

"Alexander," he answered silently, knowing that Alec needed a moment to himself before they could actually talk. Holding Alec close, Magnus tenderly let his hands wander up and down Alec's back, showing him his presence in every way possible.

* * *

* * *

So this was it.

The moment, Alec finally found the courage to go further with Magnus. And what he'd felt was nothing, Alec had ever imagined.

He'd felt loved. 

The way, Magnus so selflessly had taken care of him, and his needs brought tears to Alec's eyes.

He hadn't felt disgusted at himself at any moment. More so like a missing piece of a puzzle that had been put together. The pleasure, Magnus had shown him...Alec couldn't even find the right words to describe them.

And the emotional release that came after the very first orgasm of Alexander Lightwood's life was just as intense. 

Snuggled against Magnus' chest, Alec couldn't stop the tears from falling. Feeling so much relief spreading from his chest to every inch of his body, Alec hugged Magnus tightly, not caring about the sticky mess between them. He simply needed Magnus close as more and more shudder ran through his body. 

Alec knew for a while now that his father had been wrong with everything he'd told him. But getting to know how it felt to be touched by the man he loved, to experience that kind of intimacy, an orgasm even, Alec finally felt normal the way he was. 

He wasn't an abnormality.

He was gay. And nothing was wrong with him.

Feeling so much joy and relief, Alec took his time to let everything out he didn't know was needed.  
It took him a while to calm down, to stop his tears from falling, hiding his face in the crook of Magnus' neck, wettening the skin. And Magnus held him, gave him all the time he needed.

"I guess that was very much needed," he assumed as soon as he realized that Alec had calmed down enough to talk.

"I'd say you're right," Alec hoarsely answered, chuckling a little before he looked at Magnus, smiling at him all puffy eyes and tears streamed face. "Thank you, Magnus," Alec said then, squeezing Magnus tenderly. They had done so much for each other, had helped one another with their problems and issues. Alec would forever be grateful for meeting Magnus in that dark bar.

"Well, I have to thank you, too, Alexander. We're equal, I'd say," Magnus answered, smiling just as much as Alec did.

"Was it...was it good for you?" Alec asked then, blushing heavily as he waited for Magnus' answer.

"Alexander...I don't even find words to tell you how good it felt for me. But this wasn't about me. How do you feel?" Magnus asked then, his voice gentle and caring. He planted a tender kiss on Alec's lips, giving him time to think about his answer.

"At first...it was overwhelming...I didn't know what to expect, you know? Uhm...but it was so intense, it felt so good. And you held me all the time and took care of me, and I felt so safe and loved. You...you made my first time perfect. Thank you, Magnus," Alec answered, the emotions evident in his voice. "I love you so much," he added, smiling tearfully at his boyfriend, who watched him with so much love and the same watery eyes.

"I'm glad that it felt good for you, Alexander. And I feel honored that you let me take care of you like that," Magnus almost whispered emotionally, and another shudder ran down Alec's spine.

"You don't need to thank me for that. Since we met, I knew that it could just be you. It's just...I trusted you from the beginning. You helped me through all my fears and, well. You are the one for me," Alec answered, squeezing Magnus and kissing him lovingly. Magnus held him just as firm in his arms. 

There were no more words needed after that. Holding each other close, they lay in bed for another while before deciding to shower together. Not letting go of each other, they let their hands wander over their naked bodies, washing each other in tender movements. Sharing kiss after kiss, they just enjoyed their newfound closeness, not bothering how much time passed by. They just relished the fact that they had so much luck, having found each other.

Alec still had a way to go, but with Magnus at his side, everything was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! That's the end. I hope you enjoyed my little story, if you did, let me know ♥  
I'm planning on writing a oneshot here and there, where Alec will explore more of his sexuality.   
Other than that, I'm currently writing on a new story, a soulmate AU. The first chapter will be out in the next couple of days, and I hope to see you there :)
> 
> I'm @clarasophia90 on twitter  
I'm still a newbie, but if you'd like to have a chat with me, follow & dm me ♥
> 
> Anyways, have a great weekend ♥


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